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Neither of my children want to do ANYTHING

(18 Posts)
2point4kids Sat 30-Aug-08 11:16:25

DS1 is nearly 3. Heis going through a 'I dont like that' phase. he doesnt like ANYTHING!

He is getting ratty as we've not done much this morning. I asked him if he wanted to go to the park or do some painting.
'I dont like the park. I dont like painting'
I said 'Right then, you can help me put the washing away' He normally likes handing me the hangers.
He threw a wobbly half way up the stairs because I dared to walk on the stairs at the same time as him.
'We need some fresh air. Lets go to the park'
'NO' <wail wail moan moan?

Persuaded him to get shoes on, leave the house. Got the park entrance trying to persuade him to find me a big stick (not to hit him with honest grin ) and a little stick.
Get stuck outside the park gate. Him having a tantrum because he doesnt want to go in. Doesnt like the park.

I say 'park or home' He says 'home' so off we go back home.

'Do you want to do a puzzle then, its nearly lunch time' I say. 'no puzzle. I dont like lunch' <wail wail>
So now he is watching TV (after complaining that he doesnt like cbeebies)

The ONLY thing he likes is swimming. I put DS2 in the creche and take him once a week myself. We often all go at weekends when DH is home.

This phase is coinciding with DS2 having a teething phase. DS2 is 6 months and he doesnt like his swing, his bumbo, the floor or anywhere except sitting on my hip.

Its doing my head in.

Why do neither of my children want to do anything???!!!
It seems the only way to keep them happy is to either be swimming or to let DS1 watch TV while I carry DS2 around AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH

Any advice? Is this normal? How long does it last?

Lazarou Sat 30-Aug-08 11:18:35

lol @ 'He threw a wobbly half way up the stairs because I dared to walk on the stairs at the same time as him.'

All sounds very normal to me, just ride it out

ThatBigGermanPrison Sat 30-Aug-08 11:21:50

He sounds really tired, you could reinstitute a nap for a few days

Majeika Sat 30-Aug-08 11:23:45

TBH it sounds to me like you are asking him what he wants to do too much!

Instead of, 'do you want to go to the park?' say 'We are going to the park today because I need to find some sticks and you can help me.'

Not 'do you want to do a puzzle?' but 'I am doing a puzzle, please help me.'

He is too young to keep making decisions so you need to tell him what you are doing and praise good behaviour and ignore the bad!!


2point4kids Sat 30-Aug-08 11:25:40

Shall I make him do things or just let him watch TV?
During the week I make him come with me to meet friends and go to groups, but dont make him do things at home if he says no. I just let him watch TV. I feel bad for having too much TV though!

Cbeebies is on now. I just said to him 'shall we make Daddy a well done card for when he gets home?'
'I dont like to make a card'

'Ok then, you can watch the TV'

Program ends and new one starts

'I dont like Mama Mirabelle WAHHHHHHHH'


2point4kids Sat 30-Aug-08 11:27:37

Maybe he is tired.

He hasnt had a day time nap for over a year now and sleeps a good 12 hours at night, so dont know why he is tired!!

I'll try a nap.

Majeika Sat 30-Aug-08 11:28:41


It is a sunny day.

Go and make the card for Daddy and he will join you.

ThatBigGermanPrison Sat 30-Aug-08 11:28:55

give him a drink of milk, and put him to bed for an hour.

And stop saying "Shall we...?" because you are giving him a choice and it's easier to say no. Just do things, and stop if he doesn't seem to be enjoying them ... but in all honesty, he does sound knackered.

2point4kids Sat 30-Aug-08 11:29:02

Ok good point about not asking and telling. I'll try that!

Lazarou Sat 30-Aug-08 11:29:58

I agree about mama mirabelle, it's so dull.

If you don't want them to watch tv just switch it off and say the power has gone.

Majeika Sat 30-Aug-08 11:31:51

with the tv, mine choose what they want to watch and just watch that!

otherwise the tv would be on all day as tv never stops !! (not like in my day!!)

MatNanPlus Sat 30-Aug-08 11:33:35

He may also be a bit put out that DS2 is joined to you at the moment maybe a dvd on the sofa/bed together so everyone snuggles will help.

I to would say "we are" not "do you want" unless i want a no answer.

Lazarou Sat 30-Aug-08 11:34:10

I found the tv was on a lot more when my youngest was still very little. It's hard when you have a young baby because they are so clingy. It will get easier though.

DontlookatmeImshy Sat 30-Aug-08 11:35:46

Sounds like our house, especially the stair thing. You'd have though the world was ending the way ds1 reacted yesterday when i went downstairs first. How DARE I???

Think Majeika has a point about giving him the choice too much though. Dh does this with ds1 and after a while of getting nowhere and me and ds1 getting frustrated cos he doesn't really know what he wants, I usually snap and say "FGS just TELL him we ARE doing x/y/z".

Oh and ds also has a panic everytime a program ends until I tell him don't worry another one will be on in a minute.

And what i really want to say is AAAAAAAArrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh

halogen Sat 30-Aug-08 12:04:04

I think giving harmless choices where either outcome is fine for you is quite a good idea and works well with my nearly two year old. Eg, 'would you like to go to the park or would you like to play with water in the garden?'. Or 'do you want to wear this top or that top?' instead of 'do you want to get dressed?'

HonoriaGlossop Sat 30-Aug-08 12:16:09

agree with all the wise advice on here - and as lucicle says you CAN still ask sometimes, but asking with two choices is better rather than an open ended question which begs for a 'no'.

Also agree with majeika that sometimes you just need to get on and start doing something and they WILL join in.

Of course it's a phase as well smile

cat64 Sat 30-Aug-08 12:21:15

Message withdrawn

Janni Sat 30-Aug-08 12:36:41

I would have said exactly the same as Majeika smile

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