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Treats lost

(13 Posts)
ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe Wed 27-Aug-08 16:53:43

If one child behaves in such a way they loose a treat, how do you square it with the others when you then can't do it? (It involves leaving the house.)

This has just happened, the other 2 seem koay about it, but they must feel a bit agrieved at missing out and also I think the message hits home more to the misbehaving child, if the others get it.

hana Wed 27-Aug-08 16:54:34

maybe that shouldn't have been the thing to loose and thus affecting other kids? (too late now I know)

frazzledbutcalm Wed 27-Aug-08 16:55:20

Its so difficult. I'd choose a different punishment tbh. I have 4 so i know how hard it is. What was the missed treat?

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe Wed 27-Aug-08 17:06:46

I see what you are saying (and I came back to repost as that last paragraph made no sense) but the reason that was taken away (riding out the front on his bike) was because it was what he really wanted to do and he has been a pest all day. I wouldn't feel happy leaving him inside alone and no way are DD and Ds2 allowed outside alone.

Got to go and watch their gymnastics now!!

frazzledbutcalm Wed 27-Aug-08 17:14:52

I'd have watched 2 on their bikes and made misbehaved 1 sit beside me watching others having fun. Harsh, but it usually works.
(I don't always stick to this mind!, its easier said than done)

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe Wed 27-Aug-08 17:22:03

Duh at me! Didn't think about that.

They have their bikes in the back garden which is fine with me though DS1 is being a real meanie to DD.

Pheebe Wed 27-Aug-08 17:35:16

We have a rule in our house that penalties never affect the whole family they have to be specific and personal. Using the other kids to punish the misbehaviour (which is effectively what happens in that situation) just sets up bad feeling between them imo

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe Wed 27-Aug-08 17:46:41

I wasn't using the other children.

Pheebe Wed 27-Aug-08 17:56:32

No sorry that not what I meant but in your original post you said

I think the message hits home more to the misbehaving child, if the others get it

Thats what I was referring to. Kids are very selfish creatures and empathy and compassion are something that take a long time to develop - I assumed thats what you meant, sorry if not and for any offense

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe Wed 27-Aug-08 18:07:22

I see how you could have got that and I apologise too. I wasn't depriving them to punish him in a conscious way.

Pheebe Wed 27-Aug-08 19:01:35

No worries smile

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe Wed 27-Aug-08 19:19:13

Having to say sorry a lot today. blush

Pheebe Wed 27-Aug-08 19:33:09

OO jsut realised I've been talking to you on 2 different threads grin

Cheer up hun, you have three kids, challenging days go with the territory smile

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