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Frustrated 9 year old - help

(10 Posts)
rubyloopy Tue 26-Aug-08 08:27:50

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rubyloopy Tue 26-Aug-08 09:42:47

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rubyloopy Thu 28-Aug-08 17:24:37

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rubyloopy Mon 01-Sep-08 08:37:08

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cherrieberry Mon 01-Sep-08 20:41:03

sorry to hear he is unhappy,no advise really apart from maybe see ur doctor or even health visitor for advise.i have a 9 year old girl who is the same but went and saw a doctor and he put it down to early hormonal problems.you seem to be doing the best for him by letting him spend time with his friends away from his older brothers.i hope this will pass and good luck

cherrieberry Mon 01-Sep-08 20:41:08

sorry to hear he is unhappy,no advise really apart from maybe see ur doctor or even health visitor for advise.i have a 9 year old girl who is the same but went and saw a doctor and he put it down to early hormonal problems.you seem to be doing the best for him by letting him spend time with his friends away from his older brothers.i hope this will pass and good luck

3littlefrogs Mon 01-Sep-08 20:51:53

It is normal to fight at this age.

I think it is likely that he feels outnumbered, and frustrated, as you say, and that is perfectly understandable. His two elder brothers probably make him feel excluded, whether deliberately or not, and I expect they can do things that he can't do - physically, and intellectually.

You are doing absolutely the right thing by trying to build his confidence, letting have one to one time with you, inviting friends etc.

The thing is, at 9, even if you do ten positive things with him in a day, he will fixate on the one negative thing that happens.

Would it help, do you think, to have a talk with the twins and try to make them see things from his point of view? Unfortunately they are entering their teens, which is a time when they do find it difficult to empathise - although you say they are patient with him.

It is really hard being the little brother.

Also, it is worth making sure that he is getting enough sleep, and food, and not wearing himself out keeping up with the big ones.

My boys used to fight constantly until they were about 15 and 17. Now they are the best of friends.

I think it is likely that, given the particularly close bond between twins, ds3 will always feel a bit of an outsider, and only time and maturity will help.

Wickedwedgiewoman Mon 01-Sep-08 21:29:06

Hi Ruby. Understand how you feel; joined mn last month because of the problems we are having with our 8 yr old ds1.

Although out family set up is a bit different to yours (8yrs old ds1, 6 yr old ds2) the behaviour you describe is ver familiar.

As 3littlefrogs says, from everything I've read in posts on here, it seems to be the norm for this age. We have found though with ds that giving him a little more responsibiliy and letting him make a few (not big) decisions for himself has helped a bit.

Don't know if this helps but your not alone in this smile.

3littlefrogs Mon 01-Sep-08 22:35:42

How much time does he spend with his dad?

Time spent one to one with his dad might be something that would really make a difference. It might make him feel a bit more grown up.

rubyloopy Tue 02-Sep-08 08:11:58

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