Rules for the Dinner table?

[cori]

My 3 year old DS has always been a fussy eater. We seem to be going through a bad patch at the moment. He eats no vegetables at all, we had some success late last year in introducing them but he has reverted and now when I try to get him eat them he gags, he has even made himself throw up on a couple occassions. Obviously I dont want to scar him by forcing him to eat veg so I have almost given up on this. Any other suggestions.? He has also practically given up on trying to feed himself with cutlery, even easy things like pasta. So we end up feeding him, this is a bad habit we are getting into. I often will put the food on his fork and then into his hand and then let him put it in his own mouth, but half the time he will take the food off the fork and eat it with his hands. How can I get him to start using cutlery again.?
The other question I have is when he absoutley refuses to eat anything should I let him leave the table to go off and play, or should I make him stay at the table whilst we finish our meal.?
Any advice appreciated

[Tommy]

I have a 3 year old like this! At the moment, as long as he asks nicely to get down from the table and is sure he doesn't want anything else (inc pudding) I let him go off and play. I'm not sure that at 3 they understand the social niceties of talking round the table. He has absoultely no interest in food anyway and only eats the small variety of things he does eat to refuel never eats when he's not hungry.
It's very draining though isn't it?!

[cori]

Yes, it is draining. Just when we think the situation is improving, (like two weeks of eating vegetables), it gets worse- like throwing up at the dinner table. What to do?

[Twiglett]

Big rule .. don't vomit down mummy's bra

[Sponge]

You'll get nowhere if it becomes a war of attrition though - he'll just associate mealtimes with misery which will make the whole cycle worse.
So let him get down if he doesn't want any more but make it clear he doesn't get anything else (biscuits, sweets etc) if he comes to you an hour later saying he's hungry.
I tend to opt for mainly feeding things I know dd likes as I'd rather she ate a reasonable amount of a small selection of things than that she sits and looks at a wide variety.
I would stop feediong him though. Not the end of the world if he eats with his hands as long as there's not too much gravy involved but there should be independence about it.