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Just a quickie. Help me out you wise people please!

(20 Posts)
ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe Sun 24-Aug-08 17:20:05

DS2 is 3 and for the last wek or so he has been very challenging. He has started hitting and pushing his siblings (7 and 5) and time in the step doesn't seem to be giving him the message. He has become quite defiant.

The stair gate has had to go back up as he has been coming down and using anything he can to climb up and help himself to food. So far he has had birthday cake, cooking chocolate chips, a milky way and this morning about 6 mini flakes.

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe Sun 24-Aug-08 17:20:26


sunnytimer Sun 24-Aug-08 17:32:06

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ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe Sun 24-Aug-08 17:39:53

He is going to play school in Sept for 3 mornings.

Dh just sent him to his room for being defiant again.

maidamess Sun 24-Aug-08 17:41:33

Sounds like he wants some attention, and will go to any lengths to get it. Do you spend nice time together? I have a 3rd who behaves like this so i know he gets the worst deal out of everyone.

bubblagirl Sun 24-Aug-08 17:43:00

lol sounds like my 3 yr old i found he'd eaten 4 yoghurts whilst i was getting ready the other morning

have you tried reward chart at all or marbles in a jar

ignoring bad behaviour using distraction maybe thats his way of trying to take attention away from siblings

sorry not much help as i just have 1 to deal with

sounds like his getting bored with no pre school my ds keeps asking to go as think he has had enough now

can you make the day more structured at home as if in pre school painting set time then snack then play doh tv time etc until dinner and bed if your cant go out maybe this might help fill his time so his not so distructive

get him to help make a rota put stickers on it etc and ask what things he'd like to do

i dunno if it'll help just iodeas flying off here as my ds responded well when i made some structure to what he was doing

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe Sun 24-Aug-08 17:55:50

Attention at 6 in the morning??

I never said he was destructive.

I want ideas for what I can use for him to learn not to hit i.e. what consequences.

sunnytimer Sun 24-Aug-08 18:13:12

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HonoriaGlossop Sun 24-Aug-08 18:15:41

If it were my child I would use time out in his room as a consequence for hitting. I'm not big on punishments and I don't think this needs to be done in a punitive way, just as a reminder that "We don't hit each other in this house. You can have a couple of minutes on your own to calm down".

If you are consistent it will pay off in the end because of course it's a phase as well.

I guess being so much younger than the other two must be frustrating for him at times? He can't do alot of what they do? I'm not saying that makes the hitting ok of course, just that it might be somewhat understandable. And to reassure you, hitting and anger is VERY common in 3 and 4 yr old boys...

Agree with using stair gates, etc, all that you can to avoid him being able to get into mischie in the first place - saves on confrontation!

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe Sun 24-Aug-08 18:28:11

Good idea to say that, HG. Sounds much calmer than what we would normally say.

I am sure he thinks he is as a big as them and sees them two arguing over toys and taking things so thinks that is what he should/can do.

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe Sun 24-Aug-08 18:29:25

The book looks fun but is expensive £20 odd pounds!!

HonoriaGlossop Sun 24-Aug-08 18:31:31

you might be able to request the book from the library? You just fill in a request form. I think they can get anything that's in print...

I do think a calm response is really helpful. Of course we get cross and wound up when we see them hitting but if we are hectic and cross in our response, it just makes THEM feel hectic and cross. Good luck! Remember it IS a phase grin

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe Sun 24-Aug-08 18:33:27

I know so much all the things I am doing wrong.

Who'd have thought that not having a mum would have made me a rubbish one.

I was such a good nanny too!

I just want to say a big thank you HG. I think this is the first time ever in a long time I have posted for help and have had such kind support.

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe Sun 24-Aug-08 18:34:15

Goodness, that sounds awful. sad

I mean, usually I am criticised for all the things I am doing wrong and it is nice to not have that.

On MH I get lots of support

mou Sun 24-Aug-08 18:35:27

my DS a bit older but he knows if he is 'unkind' to his sister his favourite thing is taken off him until he has said sorry. it was tough at first but is starting to really work, and he knows he has to mean it.

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe Sun 24-Aug-08 18:36:44

No problem with him saying sorry. As soon as we say go to the step, he says I want to say sorry!! He seems to think he can say sorry and it is all okay.

sunnytimer Sun 24-Aug-08 18:59:37

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HonoriaGlossop Sun 24-Aug-08 19:13:10

oh glad it was a help!

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe Sun 24-Aug-08 19:14:50

sunnytimer Sun 24-Aug-08 19:22:35

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