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You may disagree with me, feel free to, but i think that behaviour problems are made much worse with.....

(19 Posts)
deanychip Sat 23-Aug-08 14:35:03

My mood.
I have concluded that after 5 years of behaviour problems with my boy (i have moaned and whinged about him on here over and over) that it directly relates to the way i am feeling at the time.

So for example,He was agressive, unco-operative, bouncing off the walls, incapable of sitting still or focussing on what he was doing.
This i felt was a humongous issue,imo he had something wrong with him, what was i going to do, i couldnt cope, every body hates him, its all my fault..doom doom doom.
However, having weened off ads, lets face it, i was not at my best therefore, was not performing at my best in the old parenting dept (or life dept to be quite frank).

Now, after much talking/debating/crying/conflab between me and Dh, we have a plan, i feel better, and hey presto, we have a new boy, who is lurvly, and mangagable.

So to conclude, everything seems much worse when in the pit that is depression, however, when you start to climb upwards, and the sunlight comes through,its not a bad old world and im not a crap old mother and my boy is actualy perfectly normal and healthy and im a very lucky lady to have all that i have.
smile

deanychip Sat 23-Aug-08 14:36:16

could judt do with a tad more chocolate in my life now....

Mercy Sat 23-Aug-08 14:39:59

I'm glad things have worked out for you smile

I agree that our own moods (and tiredness, illness etc) can affect our dc and how we treat them. It's very hard to be objective all the time though!

LittleMyDancingForJoy Sat 23-Aug-08 14:41:34

I agree. Haven't experienced depression, but am currently in the full grip of early pregnancy - tired, sick, hormonal mood swings.

DS' behaviour? Abysmal! Even the nursery has mentioned it.

I remember this from the last time round, as well. I think I spent the first 12 weeks of pregnancy yelling at him. sad

tori32 Sat 23-Aug-08 14:42:29

I agree completely that children reflect your moods. If I wake up tired and grumpy and dd2 has been up lots in the night, I can gaurantee that I percieve dd1s behaviour to be worse than it is and instead of finding her daftness amusing and humouring her I get angry. This makes her worse and we end up winding each other up. sad
If I am calm and make jokes about things all goes quite smoothly IME smile

J2O Sat 23-Aug-08 14:51:35

agree with eveything tori said, I am struggling to even have dd1 in the same room as me atm because i am tired and she is has really p**sed me off this morning.

malfoy Sat 23-Aug-08 14:53:57

completely agree as well.

when I am stressed/ tense/ needing to get somewhere in a hurry it all snowballs. They act up, I react badly & it all gets worse.

mashedbanana Sat 23-Aug-08 21:30:31

i agree with you.if i'm grumpy or in a bad mood my dd is the same.i've had some really crap days with her recently and looking back i'm sure it was because of my moods.sometimes i feel such a cow especially around my time of the month.

bythepowerofgreyskull Sat 23-Aug-08 21:35:49

completely agree.

to add, it has been said that you will never change your child, you can only change the way you deal with your child.

For me the way I deal with my defiant son changes on a daily basis totally depending on mood.

TheCrackFox Sat 23-Aug-08 21:40:48

Yup - I agree. When I am being a cow bag the DCs are horrors. It is a viscious circle.

nolongerchunkybutstillapudding Sun 24-Aug-08 20:56:49

yep. mine's only teeny but is much more of a nightmare when i am strung-out-mummy. think i give out massive stress waves and he picks up o it.

really glad you're feeling so positive, and you have a cunning plan...

LaTrucha Sun 24-Aug-08 21:00:25

I have a pretty easy baby, although a terrible sleeper, but find I always need to know what I'm going to do if what I'm currently doing doesn't work. If I have no plan b, c, d, etc, I can get a bit desperate and floundery.

IT also depends on how much sleep I've had.

expatinscotland Sun 24-Aug-08 21:01:38

i completely agree!

that's why i keep taking the sertraline.

deanychip Sun 24-Aug-08 21:03:01

sertraline!
funnily enough, nowt bothered me when i was on ads!

BigBadMousey Sun 24-Aug-08 21:21:39

totally agree!

...parenting was much easier when I had Citalpram helping me along.

BigBadMousey Sun 24-Aug-08 21:23:09

and my spelling was better citalpram citalopram grin

Elibean Sun 24-Aug-08 22:24:44

completely and utterly agree with OP. Whats even trickier is that my dds react to the moods I'm not quite aware of yet - IYSWIM - rather than the ones I'm fully aware of and thus more or less able to contain blush

Acinonyx Sun 24-Aug-08 22:38:15

I agree - but I think it works both ways. Mum's mood is worse when dc's is worse and vice versa. It can be hard to know which is the chicken and the egg and then the chicken and egg become a vicious circle....

downwiththatsortofthing Fri 29-Aug-08 15:03:20

Not sure if anyone is reading this thread now, but just wanted to say thank you to everyone on it - you have just reassured me that I'm not alone. I had such a bad day with ds1 last week that I knew I had to change my behaviour or he would grow up with memories of me being a shouty red faced witch, so I forced myself to calm the feck down and just relax and enjoy being with him, and as of the next day our relationship was completely different, and I'm determined I will never go back to how I was.

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