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social interaction - a learned set of skills or an instictive ability?

(5 Posts)
deaconblue Sat 23-Aug-08 11:08:40

I alwyas thought that the ability to get on with others was a kind of instinctive thing. But ds seems to need to learn adn practise getting on with others. There's the obvious like sharing, no smacking etc but also stuff like if he likes a child he cuddles them for so long they get fed up and have to be rescued.
Is it just ds or do you think most children have to learn how to interact successfully with their peers?

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Sat 23-Aug-08 11:13:23

no they have to learn. im guessing ds is only young i.e. under nursery age? dont worry they dont understand the concept of playing together and sahring untill much older.

even once at nursery they are generally only at the stage where they play next to each other and talk at each other as opposed to with each other i.e.

boy1: look at my rainbow
boy2: i like fire engines
boy1: my rainbow is all the colours
boy2: fire engines are red.

AvenaLife Sat 23-Aug-08 11:16:22

Some children have a natural ability, others need some support and guidance to do this. It can be hard helping them to fit in. I was recommended a fantastic book by another mnetter for ds called the Unwritten Rules of Friendship. It is very good and easy to put things into perspective. It's about £8 from Amazon.

Try not to get too concerned. Some children need a bit more support with english, others maths, our just need help making friends and getting along with people. It's better to tackle this now rather than later though.

deaconblue Sat 23-Aug-08 11:19:07

yes he is only 2 and a bit. I find it fascinating rather than worrying, although I do feel really sorry for him when he gets it wrong. I wonder if it's a genetic thing too - I find it quite easy to get along with different types of people, but dh used to be really shy and has had to work at social skills as he's got older.

PookiePodgeandTubs Sat 23-Aug-08 11:28:46

I think that my brother learned these skills. As a child he seemed different. He used to sit in class writing pages and pages of numbers. He was always 'numerical' if you know what I mean. He did applied maths and theoretical physics at college, but struggled with English as he had Dyslexia.

HOWEVER, at some point about 17, he realised, ok, all that is expected of me is to say "Hi, how are you?", is that it? Ok, and to stand still and nod a bit, and listen to the reply? \is that right? And smile a bit, laugh sometimes, hmmm, OK< and then I think of question that shows I've been listening?

He had to break it down. Effortless banter between two chatterboxes was analysed in a scientific way, and then copied!

He does it quite naturally now grin

Hope that helps.. My own son has inherited that type of brain too i think. But I am not as worried as some of the other parents are. A little of course.

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