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Any ideas to calm crazy/ aggressive 19mth DS?

(17 Posts)
shootfromthehip Thu 21-Aug-08 21:31:43

My DS and DD (4) fight ALL the time. They share NOTHING, always want what the other one has and physically fight as a result. They scream if the other one sits beside them and when they do get on, it always ends in them rolling about on the floor in fits of laughter and then ends in crying.

DD is ridiculously bossy and DS does not like it (obviously!). The summer hols have been really draining as this situation has escalated to the point where DS has bitten DD hard enough to draw blood on several occasions. The HV was here today and delightfully witnessed DS pull a clump of DD's hair out (about the 10th time he has done this as he likes to pull her around the room- charming eh!). Oh and before you ask, I DO NOT treat my kids like that and neither does DH.

DS had also been getting up at 5am- 5.30am for several weeks and I thought there was a connection between tiredness and the aggression but he is now sleeping til 6.30am (normal sadly) and is still a horror. DS is also throwing things everywhere, horrid to my very tolerant cats and putting everything he eats through his hair. Ha sodding ha!

DS was a lovely calm baby and has been a really easy going little guy until recently. We have not had any big life changes and DS is a big bruiser who is literally bruising everyone at the mo. Is this normal for boys? Any ideas about how I can get my kids to get on before they are very big people throwing each other around my house?

shootfromthehip Fri 22-Aug-08 08:01:56

Oh dear, thought I would get up this morning to have had received so many pearls of wisdom that I would have calm resumed by the end of the day sad. Is there anybody there, there...there... ...there... ... ...?

PavlovtheCat Fri 22-Aug-08 08:05:45

shootfromthehip. I am afraid I have no advice to offer, but wanted to give you my sympathies and perhaps bump for someone to come along and offer some advice based on their experience.

shootfromthehip Fri 22-Aug-08 08:09:59

Pavlov- my thanks. Am considering giving DS away on Freecycle- Free to a good home, barely used 19mth old. grin

PavlovtheCat Fri 22-Aug-08 08:12:16

lol grin.

RubySlippers Fri 22-Aug-08 08:16:12

i think 19 month old boys are fairly boisterous

it also sounds like they are trying to gain supremacy - top dog if you like

fairly normal i think

DS clobbered most of his little chums at nursery and vice versa

i think <<whispers>> it is a phase

consistency is key = remove 19 month old from situation and encourage 4 year old to not over excite 19 month old (who can't control his reactions quite so well?)

most 19 month olds are fairly instinctive - they bite becaue it feels good or bash someone on the head because it is there to be bashed

it does get better

RubySlippers Fri 22-Aug-08 08:17:49

the wiping food through the hair etc is boundary pushing

make a minimum of fuss about it BUT over praise if he eats nicely

my DS is 2.2 and is much less of a tasmanian devil

shootfromthehip Fri 22-Aug-08 08:20:11

I truly hope so as I am considering clearing out the lockable cupboard under the stairs (I'm joking, I'm joking- I have a sick sense of humour). DD does 'wind him up' to no end and the situation keeps escalating. Why does no-one tell you the truth before you have babies?

shootfromthehip Fri 22-Aug-08 08:20:31

I truly hope so as I am considering clearing out the lockable cupboard under the stairs (I'm joking, I'm joking- I have a sick sense of humour). DD does 'wind him up' to no end and the situation keeps escalating. Why does no-one tell you the truth before you have babies?

shootfromthehip Fri 22-Aug-08 08:21:25

Sorry for the double post- I am officially a moron.

RubySlippers Fri 22-Aug-08 08:21:57

ach - you wouldn't listen anyway!

do you go out of the house a lot?

let them dash around outdoors as much as possible ... fresh air seems to knacker DS

shootfromthehip Fri 22-Aug-08 08:33:10

Living in Scotland does not always facilitate the out and about ethos that DS would benefit from but I make sure they both get a good run about at least once a day and they are in the garden come hail, rain or shine. I agree that the food thing is just naughtiness- a friend last week pointed out my reaction to his behaviour and his reaction to mine- he looked triumphant apparently. I don't know at what point everyone in my house engaged in this struggle for supremacy but I am determined that I shall be the victor. wink

RubySlippers Fri 22-Aug-08 08:35:00


Nbg Fri 22-Aug-08 08:38:20

I thought I should offer my sympathy.
Its quite weird reading your post as my children are exactly the same and the same age. Well ds1 is 2 tomorrow.

This boisterous stage has been gradually building up from about 15 months, which actually coincides with ds2 being born.

I keep being told its all normal but when you see them at each others throat, its not very easy to think that way.

pagwatch Fri 22-Aug-08 08:40:09

win girl win!
actually tbh rather than trying to win you might do better by refusing to engage on that level. My ds's ed psych once wisely told me that a battle always has its casualties so pick them very carefully.

shootfromthehip Fri 22-Aug-08 08:46:19

How very true. I have a degree in child psychology and so I know all the theory but still find myself roaring and muttering around the house. The fact that they are MY kids seems to inhibit the rational part of my brain- is there research to support this? I just can't bear being Solomon- DD winds him up and watches him go and then ends up with a chunk of herself missing at the end of it.

My brother and I fought ALL the time and there were some serious injuries. I suppose it bothers me to see two people that I love not physically hurting each other.

shootfromthehip Fri 22-Aug-08 14:31:41

Am just after splitting my two up again as DS was literally jumping on top of DD. Can you get a plug-in thing for testosterone like you can for nervous cats? Any ideas?

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