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OK - how about a terrible threes thread?

(6 Posts)
pabla Wed 16-Feb-05 16:15:27

Hope this doesn't depress anyone on the terrible twos thread, but I am still having a really tough time with my ds who is 3.7.

Today was one of the worst for a while (well a few days). I took him into town with his older sister and left the baby at home with dh who is recovering from a tummy bug. We went to the library to change their library books and then into a few shops, mainly to get things for them like more drawing paper and play dough. We were in Woolworths getting some new plimsolls for his sister and underpants for him when he spotted a display of Magic Roundabout toys. I didn't mind him stopping to look as he knows that toys are generally only bought for Christmas and birthdays. However, what I hadn't spotted was that there was a pile of Magic Roundabout easter eggs too.

He refused to move when I went to the till to pay and a massive tantrum started when I tried to get him to leave because he wanted an egg. Unfortunately because of the shopping and library books I couldn't just pick him up and go and after trying to negotiate/threaten/bribe him for 10 minutes or so I ended up trying to half drag him up the street. Every time I let him go he tried to run back to the shop and of course everyone was staring (it was market day too to make it worse). My dd was in tears too by now as she hated everyone looking at us. Most people just smiled or made sympathetic comments but one woman tried to take his hand and said to me "Don't drag him, I know you're angry..". I was actually keeping fairly calm up to this point but I just snapped and told her I had no other way of getting him home and to mind her own ** business .

I ended up phoning dh and asking him to wake up the baby and come to meet me. He had to physically carry ds most of the way home (no mean feat as he is big for his age). The first time he put him down, ds tried to run off again and eventually he agreed to walk and hold onto the buggy. When i tried to talk to him about it when we got home he was in denial that he had misbehaved.

Sorry this is a bit of a rant but he seems to be getting worse rather than better and we are running out of ideas. We never give in to the tantrums, try to avoid any triggers where possible, etc. It is impossible to reason with him at the time and afterwards he either doesn't seem to remember what happened or denies that it did. At home we put him in his bedroom until he calms down (he would never stay on a naughty step or in a naughty corner) and if possible when I am out I carry him home or to the car but this is impossible if I am on my own and also have ds2 in the buggy.

If anyone can offer any practical advice on how to deal with the actual tantrums, especially if I am out and have the other two to look after as well, i would be most grateful!

I am also wondering if I should seek professional advice at this stage or put up with it as a phase (though it is lasting a hell of a long time!)

Kelly1978 Wed 16-Feb-05 16:23:21

What would happen if you pretended to walk off? Whenever dd had paddys I would pretend to go and she hated thought of being left, so would come running. I know it doesn't work with all kids tho, cos my ds will jsut ignore me, I have to really shout at him.

pabla Wed 16-Feb-05 16:26:33

Kelly, it would not make a difference. He would have just run back into the shop.

Kelly1978 Wed 16-Feb-05 16:29:19

I do sympathise, I know what's it's like being stuck with a toddler who does that. I've had to drag ds home b4 now, I now take a set of baby reins, and threaten him with them and this works. He hates the thought of them.

Dior Thu 17-Feb-05 10:53:10

Message withdrawn

pabla Thu 17-Feb-05 11:46:39

Hi Dior

I must say that my ds also seems to be in a world of his own, especially when in the throes of a tantrum. I know there is no point trying to rationalise with toddlers at the best of times, but you can't get any response at all from him, he just shouts the same thing over and over. Then once it is over he is like a different child and it's as if the tantrum never happened. He never even mentioned the easter egg yesterday once the tantrum stopped.

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