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18 month son very nervous in new situations

(5 Posts)
Rozharris Wed 16-Feb-05 08:14:50


Just wanting a bit of advice/support re my 18 month old. I hate using the word shy, but he is VERY timid in new situatins, eg mother and toddler groups etc.

I try not to stay away from doing new things, and I give him lots of cuddles and reassurance. But a group we tried last week I hardly put him down for 1.5 hurs!! (He enjoyed the biscuits best!! ) He is great once he gets used to things, but compared to his peers it takes him ages. He even yells when we go to the drs or to get his feet mmeasured (strangers in his personal space I guess....)

Any tips greatly appreciated. I don't mind if he wants to be a bit solitary, I just don't want him growing up being SO scared of everything. Think I blame myself a bit coz I had very bad PND and didn't bond with him proberly for AGES after the birth. Thanks for listening

nailpolish Wed 16-Feb-05 08:21:18


my dd was a bit like that, i was determined to take her to mothers and toddlers because i wanted to meet new people. dd would be excited to go, but when we got there wouldnt leave my side and said 'home' after half an hr.

basically the other mothers would just dump their kids then sit and chat amongst themselves and their kids would play with the toys. i ended up sitting on the floor with dd doing jigsaws etc. because i was sitting on the floor, other kids would come up and sit around me, wanting to join in, and so dd was then sitting with 2 or 3 other children! she still doesnt really speak to them much but when we go we still sit on the floor and play (shes 2 now) and the others still come over. she doesnt ask to go home anymore

hth and you sound like you have a lovely little boy there xxx

nailpolish Wed 16-Feb-05 08:24:04

ps, please dont blame yourself. i think he obviously feels very close to you, and safe

snafu Wed 16-Feb-05 08:31:45

Hi Roz

My ds went through the same thing at precisely the same age - went from being a very sociable little chap to clinging desperately onto me and yelling whenever anyone new came near him. All you can do is persevere - keep going to the groups etc and he will get used to them. He's still very young really and tbh I'm not sure that being a bit wary of new people/situations is always such a bad thing - we all have shy moments but it's just that as adults we cover them up better 18-month-olds don't feel the need to put on a public face!

The worst thing you can do is blame yourself. It has nothing to do with bonding or anything like that. In fact he sounds pretty bonded to you! It's just the way he is right now. He will get more confident as he gets older and if, as you say, 'he is great once he gets used to things' I don't think you have anything to worry about. HTH

Rozharris Wed 16-Feb-05 08:37:06

Thanks for the support I just needed someone to say it wasn't just me! And nailpolish - I'm one of the "sitting on the floor" mums too Can't bear it when people just "abandon" their children like you described.

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