DS aged 2.5 going through clingy stage, is it because he goes to CM ?

[rookiemater]

I work 4 days a week and have Monday off with DS. Over the past few months he has been very clingy if we go out to things such as Mothers & Toddlers, will not do anything without me. We went to visit a friend and her daughter today and as soon as we got out of the car DS was upset and spent the visit attached to my leg so we only stayed for half an hour.

My gut feel is that DS doesn't want to share me for the one day I have with him and I feel terribly guilty if I have made him insecure by working. In all other respects he is healthy and happy and doesn't mind playing with the one or two children he knows well. Perhaps however its a normal phase and I am just projecting my concerns on to him

Anyone else experienced this and what should I do. My gut feel is to give him the reassurance he needs, but not to stop doing things and going places because of it. Does this sound right ?

[rookiemater]

Oh I should say that he loves the CM and goes there happily in the mornings.

[harpomarx]

your gut feeling is right, imo, rookie.

And I doubt it is anything to do with the childminder. DD was a very clingy toddler and never went to nursery until she was 3.

[harpomarx]

I mean to say, if he wants to do stuff with you, then do it. It's frustrating sometimes if you see all the other kids happily run off without their parents and yours is clinging to you. But it's so much easier when you just accept that your child needs your support for a bit and go with the flow. Eventually he will go off on his own. Btw, I would have given it longer than half an hour with your friend. It often takes kids at least that long to detach themselves from legs!

[rookiemater]

Thanks harpo. I just feel so bad about only having the one day on my own with him so I don't like to continue with things if he isn't enjoying them, because I don't want to spoil our day.

[harpomarx]

rookie, he probably is enjoying them in his own way. Sometimes kids need to observe before they can join in. This is often the case with dd. She nearly always tells me she has had a good time afterwards and I sometimes think 'when???? while you were clinging to my leg???'