No one warned me about "the terrible 3's"!!

[MissMoopy]

Hi, new to mums net. Joined because at end of tether with dd who is 3 years and 9 months. She has always been strong minded, whihc I actually think is a good thing, but recently she has moments of being a total tyrant. She has developed a real temper, and if she doesn't get her own way she throws a huge strop! I try really hard to stay calm, not shout, be consistent...all the usual stuff, but she is driving me bonkers at the moment! She goes to nursery 3 days a week where she is a little treasure, thank goodness, but over the summer hols they have some of the holiday club kids, who are older in her class. I wonder if she is picking up behaviour from them? Anyway, spleen vented. Is this what 3 year olds are like? All my friends kids are younger. Hubby seems to think its normal.

[legalalien]

I think your hubby may be right. DS is exactly the same age, and has been acting like this for the last couple of weeks. He's had phases like this before (they usually seem to coincide with developmental milestones, such as getting the hang of toilet training, picking up numbers etc.), and I suspect there may be some link to mental tiredness (or perhaps that's a bit fanciful!). Anyway, I find doing what you're doing generally results in the behaviour going away after a week or so (only to re-emerge some time later). I'd definitely say don't make an issue of it (although easier said than done!).

Oh, and pick your fights - definitely pick your fights (bathtime, bedtime, putting clothes on, going out, sitting down for dinner, all worth fighting for - anything else, not!)

[TillyScoutsmum]

Ah - a threenager

Sounds pretty normal but massively annoying

Will leave the good advice to others - but it will pass....and make way for another trying stage

[MrsMattie]

My 3 yr old can be a complete and utter nightmare at times. In some ways it's harder now than when he was in his 'terrible twos' phase, because now I know he is capable of behaving really well on occasion and that he does understand a lot more of what it is to behave in a socially acceptable way...he just chooses to ignore it and be a little tyrant now and then!

Agree it's all totally normal.

hopefully there will be some repsite before the terrible teens!

[MrsMattie]

respite

[Neeerly3]

Defo normal, I have 3.8yo twins and one is an absolute monster atm. I have heard/read/clung to the fact that new hormones kick in around this age - testosterone for boys (could be the same for girls, we still have that hormone, just in lesser amounts)...so strong bloody mindeness seems to go hand in hand with this phase.

Yesterday we were gearing up to go to a Christening and DT2 (aka the devil child) had been gearing up for a nuclear meltdown all morning - everything was no, everything was yuck, everything was wrong. We ignored, we praised other DT to try and transfer the focus etc etc - but we got to lunchtime, Shepherds pie all round and DT1 wolfed his, and DT2 pushed, poked, moaned about his. Got sent to his room when he launched his cutlery and we ate our dinner. DH went up and discussed behaviour, he agreed to come down and eat his lunch.....I went upstairs with DT1 to shower and get ready for christening, heard a cerfuffle downstairs and DT2 appeared with DH, "he's not going to the Christening, Mummy, the shepherds pie is currently sliding down the lounge wall" "ah", says I, "fine, Mummy and DT1 will go alone"....so we did!

Cue Nuclear Meltdown when I left without him, and then he fell asleep - 2 hours later he woke, I went to fetch them both and we returned to the party and had a great time. It's very frustrating when you have two of the same age and they are so totally and completely different....I simply cannot/will not understand why DT2 is how he is when his bro, who has been raised in exactly the same way is such a joy to take out and be with other people. I keep reciting "it's just a phase, it's just a phase", but it's rings a bit hollow and I think I am just stuck with a cantancerous (sp?) argumentative little so and so!

[FAQ]

ahh yes - then you get the fearsome fours, the fesity fives, the sacrastic sixes, the stroppy sevens........

[MrsMattie]

Neeerly3, you have my utmost respect! One 3 yr old boy is hard enough work. Congratulations for retaining some sort of sense of perspective / sense of humour!

[MissMoopy]

Thank you
Its nice to know I'm not alone in my struggles!! I think I was lulled into false sense of security as found 2's relatively easy! Guess its payback!
My mum just chuckles when i moan about dd's behvavious so I'm guessing I was the same at her age. Karma in action

[MrsMattie]

Sorry, meant you@MissMoopy!