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My baby doesn't look at me in the eyes, please help!

(16 Posts)
aiti72 Mon 18-Aug-08 14:23:24

I have a six week old girl, born a couple of weeks early after really difficult pregnancy(5mm nuchal fold and we weren't given much hope for a healthy baby). She was examined by quite a few baby doctors after she was born, all of whom told us she is healthy, but now I'm worried there is indeed something wrong.. I know she sees something, but she doesn't really look at the toys I show her or doesn't look at people in the eyes. I would be grateful for any experience or advice(will ask GP of course when we get there), DD1 was socially smiling at four weeks so this seems really weird, I find it hard to get any proper connection with DD2sad.

tiredlady Mon 18-Aug-08 14:30:32

My ds didn't make eye contact till he was about 10 months old.He would turn away if you tried to look him in the eyes.
I was worried sick. There is ASD in the family and I thought he was showing avoidant behaviour or something. It also made it very hard to bond with him initially, which was horrible, so I do sympathise with you

I have no advice other than give it time.Ds is now 5 and is not autistic, he just didn't like making eye contact ( and still doesn't)

Maybe ask GP for an eye test?

AMumInScotland Mon 18-Aug-08 14:36:27

Since she was 2 weeks early, she's only just 4 weeks now really in terms of development, which may make a difference.

Does she look at the top or side of your head instead of the eyes? Some babies like the contrast between things more than the things themselves, so they always seem to be looking past you rather than at you.

Hopefully the GP will be able to reassure you that she's seeing ok for her corrcted age, and she'll get more social soon.

aiti72 Mon 18-Aug-08 14:40:24

Thank you for sharing your experience, tiredlady. I'll ask for an eye test, she does have a lazy eye and seems to hold one eye closed more (maybe poor thing sees doublesad) so hopefully it's 'just' eyesight and nothing more..

aiti72 Mon 18-Aug-08 14:44:17

AMumInScotland, that's exactly how she looks at me, thanks.

AMumInScotland Mon 18-Aug-08 14:49:51

My DS used to do that - it gave me the creeps sometimes, thinking he could see someone standing behind me! I think it gets better when they can focus more, then the features in your face are more interesting!

halogen Mon 18-Aug-08 15:09:43

My daughter (now 23 months) also looked at my hairline all the time for ages (several months at least) and has no sight issues at all - hope that's reassuring.

suedonim Mon 18-Aug-08 15:26:00

My dd2 looked at my hairline a lot and also the Velux windows in our bedroom. I think it's the strong contrast between light and dark that fascinates them. Dd's perfectly normal now, btw! smile

Notsochilledanymore Mon 18-Aug-08 19:28:14

My DD also did this for a long time - exactly as AMumInScotland described - and only now at 6m is she really happy with eye contact, so it sounds quite normal to me (based on my somewhat limited experience, anyway).

Please try not to worry too much - DD was very oxygen deprived at birth and although we have been reassured that she's fine, I know how easy it is to be looking for "signs" that there really is something wrong - you become hypersensitive to little tics that are actually totally normal baby behaviour. I don't think there's any harm in checking with GP, though - hopefully she'll be able to reassure you more.

EffiePerine Mon 18-Aug-08 19:31:30

I remember being petrified because DS didn't make eye contact at a few weeks old - he is now the most sociable boy I know . Don't know when eye contact becomes an 'issue', but am pretty sure it's a lot later than 6 weeks (or 4 weeks corrected)

EffiePerine Mon 18-Aug-08 19:33:23

something here

Twiglett Mon 18-Aug-08 19:35:43

seems a little early to me .. have gorgeous photo of DD 'staring' at DS' fringe about that time .. it was the play of light giving contrast of white on blonde that attracted her

I'd give it a few weeks tbh

Minkus Mon 18-Aug-08 21:50:19

aiti72 my ds2 is 6.5 weeks old and until friday I was worried about his lack of eye contact too. He just seemed to look at my ears or my hair or anything but my eyes- and I was starting to worry as I thought that all babies loved to look at faces! But in the last few days 3 things have happened- he's started making gurgling chatty "baby" noises, he's smiled for the first time and he has looked me in the eye! He's really been interested in looking at me when I talk to him and I guess that all these three things are under the banner of communicating.

Guess I just wanted to share my story and to let you know that just because she hasn't started "communicating" yet, it doesn't mean there is anything wrong. Hang in there!

Romy7 Mon 18-Aug-08 22:25:32

3 more here that all gazed at hairlines for a month or so xx

soph28 Mon 18-Aug-08 22:31:03

my 1st was smiling by 3 weeks and laughing by 5 weeks. He then did everything early.

My 2nd barely knew I was there before 6mths and did everything late. She was like a days old baby at 3-4 mths.
Now at 2 she is just like any other 2 yo!

RAV5678 Wed 20-Aug-14 22:00:38

Six years have passed. How have the babies mentioned in this thread developed?

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