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Behaviour/development

Cuddly toy attachment???? Any knowledge?

40 replies

MamaMammalon · 17/08/2008 18:20

My DD 15mths has just discovered the joys of 'Panda'. I read about cuddly toys being a replacement for the Mother in some way and I'm now panicking that perhaps she is feeling insecure?

She adores him and this has happened in around 5 days; beforehand she showed no allegiance to any one toy. Panda stays in bed to 'keep it warm' throughout the day to avoid her needing him to much.

I am sure this is all normal but I want to make sure!

Any opinions?

OP posts:
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GordonTheGopher · 17/08/2008 18:22

Tis a completely normal phase.

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Shitehawk · 17/08/2008 18:23

Cuddly toys aren't a replacement for the mother. But they can offer comfort when you are not there.

Cuddly toys offer a lot for the senses too; they are soft and tactile, nice to touch. And they smell comforting too because they are familiar.

It is all normal.

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Califrau · 17/08/2008 18:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Slubberdegullion · 17/08/2008 18:25

I concur with Califrau, but I will say it in a lovely soft cuddly toy voice, with one ear that is a bit worn down with rubbing.

Get more Pandas

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wotulookinat · 17/08/2008 18:25

Normal. Get a spare though.

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LIZS · 17/08/2008 18:26

Very normal, could last years though. Ours gives comfort even when mummy is cross and dd upset . Definitely get a duplicate or 2 !

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everlong · 18/08/2008 08:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GooseyLoosey · 18/08/2008 08:34

Agree with others - very normal and you need to get replacements. Word of advice though, do not leave replacements in the cupboard - rotate them with the original as if you lose the original a pristine new one may not be accepted.

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tiggerlovestobounce · 18/08/2008 08:50

She isnt feeling insecure. She is feeling secure.

The Panda is a "transitional object" and this is a normal developmental stage.

transitional object

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wotulookinat · 18/08/2008 10:54

I still have a favourite cuddly toy that I can't sleep without. In fact, he is sitting next to the computer right now. I must still be in that stage!!

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Othersideofthechannel · 18/08/2008 12:32

wotu - mine creeps into bed when DH is away from home!

"Cuddly toys aren't a replacement for the mother. But they can offer comfort when you are not there"
They also offer comfort when child has a confrontation with the mother.

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LUCIA22 · 18/08/2008 13:10

My dd 15months is obsessive about her teddy. She got him for Xmas and is very attached to him. She takes it to nursery and apparently wont let him leave her side whilst she is there. I have always thought it is normal and quite sweet. Teddy shares food and drink with her, to the extent that teddy is now looking pretty ropey. We looked at getting a spare, he was only a cheapy from Toys r us but the new ones didnt look anything like it. I think we have left it too late, I hope he never gets lost, there is no way she would go to bed without him!!!!.

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halogen · 18/08/2008 13:26

For people who haven't got replacements, or who have replacements that might look rather different than the old toy, I highly recommend Tatty Ratty. It's a good book, too.

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wotulookinat · 18/08/2008 16:06

I think that book would make me cry.

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LIZS · 18/08/2008 16:07

made me cry

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ShowOfHands · 18/08/2008 16:12

Okay, now I'm slightly concerned that my dd does NOT have an attachment to anything. She shows no preference for any of her toys. She does like my nipples though.

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Sugarmagnolia · 18/08/2008 20:14

I think it's perfectly normal and ok - my 7 1/2 yr old DD still will not sleep without her favourite teddy. HOWEVER, I have to say I have never allowed her to take it out and about with her (unless going for a sleepover or somewhere upsetting like doctors). I really, really hate seeing kids dragging loved but bedraggled toys or blankets to nursery, parks, play places you name it.

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halogen · 18/08/2008 21:44

That book made me cry too. But in a good way!

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halogen · 18/08/2008 21:47

Sugarmagnolia, I too thought I'd hate my daughter to be dragging a teddy round with her. But we have Po and Po Must Be With Us. Seriously, we can't go anywhere without her. And it's worse than a teddy as Po is larger and noisier and fecking lights up when you hug her. I'd have loved to limit Po to the bedroom but it absolutely wasn't possible without more upset than I was willing to cause for something so trivial!

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katiepotatie · 18/08/2008 21:48

At least it's not a bloody Santa that sings Santa Claus is coming to town (dd's favorite toy at the moment, since DH has been working away)

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Twinklemegan · 18/08/2008 21:55

Oh God, more paranoia for me to latch onto. Oh joy!

DS is very very attached to a little blue horse (well apparently it's a donkey but who cares). We call it Horsey and he calls it Shore .

He doesn't go to nursery without Shore and he carries him around all day. He feeds him, he paints him, he baths him - you name it. He loves him damnit, and I think it's lovely. I reckon a 2 year old needs a bit of comfort when Mummy & Daddy aren't there, so I'm all for it.

That's a good point GooseyLoosey. Unfortunately we got Horsey/Shore's stunt double rather too late and there's a definite difference between the two. Also I'd feel I was somehow cheating DS if I tried to fob him off with an imposter (God forbid we ever have to).

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lingle · 18/08/2008 22:01

In his left hand, DS2 carries Doggy. In his right hand, he carries Doggy's secret replacement that he doesn't know about.

It took him about a month to figure out that Doggy was actually two doggies.

Now the doggies say "woof woof" to each other all the time.

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Twinklemegan · 18/08/2008 22:04

ROFL Lingle

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FanjolinaJolly · 18/08/2008 22:06

Oooh this is normal.ds is nearly 5 and we are on Bat number 4 (His comforet obvject is a fluffy Ikea bat).I have 2 replacement bats......

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blithedance · 18/08/2008 22:19

Went to visit my 14YO niece the other week - her baby teddies, rather well-loved, are still on her pillow...ahhh

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