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URGENT an locked in empasse with ds1, wwyd?

(18 Posts)
ThatBigGermanPrison Thu 14-Aug-08 20:33:21

My 5 year old has been put to bed, 2 year old is still up. 5 year old is knackered and has been utterly foul for the latter half of the day, noisy, rude and disruptive.

he is howling, saying it's not fair and he wants to get up.

Now,. I put him to bed in hot blood, and now he is begging to come downstairs, I feel a heel.

Ds2 is still up because ds1 is making such a frigging racket ds2 would never sl;eep. Ds1 is insisting this is an abomination of justice.

They normally go to bed at 7ish and 8ish respectively.

What would you do?

ThatBigGermanPrison Thu 14-Aug-08 20:35:16

please, he's crying, am I being awful????

Twiglett Thu 14-Aug-08 20:36:08

go upstairs ... settle him into bed tell him you love him but it's bedtime

do NOT allow him to get up

and put DS2 to bed too

it's too late for both of them IMO

Tortington Thu 14-Aug-08 20:36:43

tell him to shut his gov and go to sleep - sooner he is asleep the other kid is asleep - by crying and wailing he is allowing other kid to stay up later - its up to him

Dynamicnanny Thu 14-Aug-08 20:36:58

I would just ignore him.

Get DS2 to sleep downstairs then put him to bed.

Twiglett Thu 14-Aug-08 20:37:34

if really tantrumming you need to use some deep breathing get him to blow out candles (fingers you hold up) till he calms and then tell him you love him

edam Thu 14-Aug-08 20:38:18

Um, it's half past eight, WAY past bedtime! Use The Mummy Voice to tell ds1 to be quiet or <<insert consequences of your choice>>. (If you said anything really horrible to him, it's fine to say 'sorry' but don't get into a long drawn out thingy.)

Mercy Thu 14-Aug-08 20:38:27

I would let ds1 out of bed for a few mins, cuddle, story, a bit of discussion re beahviour and then back to bed. Both of them.

I wish mine would go to bed at a reasonable time in the holidays.

ravenAK Thu 14-Aug-08 20:38:35

I'd stick to my guns - if howling makes you relent this time, it'll be the first thing he tries next time...

Have a calm chat with him tomorrow about how normally he gets to stay up later because he's older, but if he's tired or ill then it's no big deal if he goes up first?

meandmyjoe Thu 14-Aug-08 20:38:37

Sorry to be harsh but I'd leave him. Go back up and settle him, maybe read him a story and explain that it's time to go to bed, then leave. I'm harsh where bed times concerned! He's not a baby, he knows when it's time to go to sleep, don't let him mess you around or he'll do it every night.

goingslowlymad Thu 14-Aug-08 20:41:50

can't you seperate them? Put older child to bed in your bed, younger child in his own bed, the put oldest to bed in his own bed when you go to bed?

I get the whole 'your bed is a sanctuary' thing but it would remove a lot of stress from bed times.

Mercy Thu 14-Aug-08 20:42:13

Oooh some of you are hard!

My ds is 4½ and is still up. In fact I don't think he's been in bed until 8 at the earliest since the holidays began.

goingslowlymad Thu 14-Aug-08 20:42:55

What time do they get up in the mornings?

ThatBigGermanPrison Thu 14-Aug-08 20:50:34

They get up before 7.

If I put ds2 to bed too, ds1 will kee him awake deliberatly, he's actually told me this.

I have told him that the sooner he goes to sleep or at least stays quiet, the sooner ds2 will go to bed.

See, ds1 gets the reward of staying u later than ds2 for being a good boy, and his behavior has been horrendous. I have been gentle on him, as I know he's tired, and have been u to him several times to shush, sooth and settle.

Ds2 hasn't been naughty, and I really didnt' want them both to see that you can be as rude as you lease and still get your privileges..... but now I feel a bit cruel, as I was certain he would settle down before this. He has calmed down, but still seems very angry at the 'unfairness' - enough to make me wonder if I am unfair!

Sawyer64 Thu 14-Aug-08 20:54:44

My Ds could be like this sometimes when he was 5.
I used to do CC with him,or I would just return and tell him I would only speak to him when he was quiet and calm.

I would put your other DC to bed,they usually fall off to sleep despite the noise.

I can't see the point in relaxing Bed times in the holidays,maybe for an infrequent night out ,but otherwise I'd have battles on my hands.

Bedtime is Bedtime in my book.They need a certain amount of sleep,and that doesn't alter just because its the holidays.

I guess I feel like this as mine don't sleep in ,just because they haven't got to get up.Our routine doesn't change just because its the holidays,they get up at the same time whether we go out in the morning or not.

Sawyer64 Thu 14-Aug-08 20:54:47

My Ds could be like this sometimes when he was 5.
I used to do CC with him,or I would just return and tell him I would only speak to him when he was quiet and calm.

I would put your other DC to bed,they usually fall off to sleep despite the noise.

I can't see the point in relaxing Bed times in the holidays,maybe for an infrequent night out ,but otherwise I'd have battles on my hands.

Bedtime is Bedtime in my book.They need a certain amount of sleep,and that doesn't alter just because its the holidays.

I guess I feel like this as mine don't sleep in ,just because they haven't got to get up.Our routine doesn't change just because its the holidays,they get up at the same time whether we go out in the morning or not.

greenandpleasant Thu 14-Aug-08 20:56:08

don't think you're being unfair if ds1 has told you he will keep up ds2. can ds2 go to sleep in your bed (are they in the same room normally?)

probably no point giving in now ... you've come too far with it (and you have a firm position.)

Janni Thu 14-Aug-08 21:13:05

I think it's OK to backtrack slightly if you've put them to bed in anger and go back to make it a more pleasant experience eg their favourite story if they stop howling.

My DD (3) was in tiredy meltdown by 6 tonight and I just cuddled her to sleep so I'm feeling more mellow than on some nights!!

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