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I've run out of patience

(13 Posts)
MrsPorty Mon 11-Aug-08 20:18:04

I'm (fairly) regular but have namechanged recently.
Don't know what's wrong with me. DS is 2.8 - has always been quite strong minded at home but an angel everywhere else. I'm a lone parent. I don't really like 'naughty-step/time-out style parenting', have always muddled through with a 'praising the good stuff/ignoring most of the rest' kind of approach. However, the last few weeks I feel that I'm getting cross a lot more often and snapping at DS (which he generally finds quite amusing).
Nothing's really changed - I'm not any more tired than usual and I don't think DS's behaviour is much different - it's me and I can't figure out why I'm doing it. Perhaps I should have posted in another topic as, reading this back, it's much more about me than DS.
We've just had a weekend apart (he went to grandparent's - I went away with friends) and I missed him terribly, but today I snapped again several times and felt awful.
Does anyone else have phases of this?

lizandlulu Mon 11-Aug-08 20:32:02

i do. i snap at my dd alot and it is just when i feel i have had too much of her.
yes i think that is an awful thing for me to say, but she really can irritate me sometimes.
my dh works long hours sometimes and i have dd on my own alot, i sometimes feel as if i am a lone parent, and need a break.

try to focus on the good points, at least your ds is an angel most of the time

meandmyjoe Tue 12-Aug-08 13:11:00

Everyones kids irritate them from time to time (some more than others!). You've done amazingly well to get to 2.8 and not snapped more often before! I have snapped at my 1 year old before sad which I know is completely horrible but sometimes adults make mistakes too and then we feel bloody awful for months afterwards! If you can't think that anything has changed with his behaviour then maybe you just need more frequent breaks from him. Just a few hours a week could refresh you. You sound like everyother mummy I know though, it's a hard job! hugs x

Hetti Tue 12-Aug-08 13:28:38

You need a break! No one is a saint and even though you gad a weekend away perhaps it wasn't enough. It must be tough being a lone parent, you've done so well not to snap sooner. I snap, I find it tough day after day, it feels like,is he ever going to reach the end of toddlerhood!it does sound more about how you feel, maybe you simply need someone close to you to acknowledge what a great job you are doing?we all need it however old we are x

summer01 Tue 12-Aug-08 13:33:25

Yes of course, I think most parents feel like this at one time or another. My three year old can drive me mad. I posted on here only a couple of weeks ago about how her constant talking is wearing me down. You're not alone!

1066andallthat Tue 12-Aug-08 14:30:15

What makes you snap? I shout sad and it is usually I run out of time, I'm stressed or I'm shattered - so, the solutions are obvious, do the get up earlier thing and get organised, tackle the really bad stuff head-on, go to bed earlier and MN less grin.

What are you doing for yourself? I find when I can exercise, I'm better at handling living with two small boys.

I read, and really liked, "Unconditional Parenting" and always follow the threads about it on here because it's the approach that works best for me. Saying that, I count down when I'm desperate, give two alternatives and carry DS2 like a sack of potatoes, if everything else fails. Yet, getting down to his level, stopping and checking what is actually going on with the boys and asking and really listening - do work better but I'm not perfect and they sometimes go out of the window.

HonoriaGlossop Tue 12-Aug-08 15:01:56

Maybe it just gets to a point where you've had a gutful of negotiating, jollying along, etc etc etc. Patience wears thin.

There's a reason that most kids go to pre-school at 2 years 9 months, or 3!!!!

Is he registered somewhere? I can vouch for pre-school being a really good thing; a break from each other and fresh stimulus for DS....

It's really good you've recognised you're snapping more because the trouble is kids reflect back straight away, so if you keep on like that he will inevitably behave worse. Maybe if you feel yourself about to snap you can just walk off in to another room for a sec?

scottishmum007 Tue 12-Aug-08 15:21:49

I've also snapped at my son and shouted at him a few times (when he was only months old sad) so i know how you must be feeling.
It's never easy raising kids, we aren't perfect and we do make mistakes.
I sometimes clock watch and count down to his bedtime. That sounds terrible but that's when I know it's been a really trying day.
I just want you to know you are not alone out there, so many of us feel siimilar.

MrsPorty Tue 12-Aug-08 16:38:29

Thanks for all of your replies! Feel a bit better today. DS is already at nursery Honoria - but hasn't been in for a few weeks as I'm on holiday (I'm a student). Think that's maybe why I've been less patient.

MrsPorty Tue 12-Aug-08 16:41:00

Have been trying to have 'quality time' with him to make up for my being so busy during term-time. Think I've been overdoing it a bit really.

HonoriaGlossop Tue 12-Aug-08 16:49:38

that's it I reckon MrsP; in your OP you say this has been in 'the last few weeks' and now you say he hasn't been in mursery for a few weeks.....I totally see you've wanted to give him lots of time but basically you do still both need a break from eachother. there's nothing wrong with that, that's healthy IMO. Do you have any family or friends who could have him for some mornings or afternoons during the holiday times - treat for him, time out for you to regain your patience smile

MrsPorty Thu 14-Aug-08 11:13:05

Thanks HG - have sent him to Nursery this week (it is open, I was keeping him at home in misguided attempt to be a full-time mum during the summer!). You are right - we do still need some time apart, at least I'll feel less guilty about sending him now I've proved that to myself. Thanks for the advice.

uberalice Thu 14-Aug-08 11:39:53

I just want to add that I started to get quite snappy with my DS last year and it turned out to be the beginnings of depression. I hope that's not the case for you, but please get some help if it gets any worse or goes on for too long, as it's really awful. I'm glad to say that I'm over it now and back to normal, but it was quite a difficult time. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world, isn't it?

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