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So fed up

(5 Posts)
katyamum Sun 10-Aug-08 21:01:35

I'm so fed up. I haven't had any sleep for about 5 years. I have 3 children ages 6, 4 and 2. My dd is 6 and she has always slept really well, loves her bed, had very few problems with her generally. I did a bit of controlled crying on her as a baby, but nothing major, and I ALWAYS go to them in the night if they cry. My ds is nearly 5 and he has been a terrible sleeper from day 1. We have had the odd patch of better sleep after we used Millpond (sleep clinic in London with good reputation for being very gentle in their approach and I found it worked really well) but basically he still wakes up and comes into our room every night. He now has a mattress on the floor, and we all sleep better. But my ds is 2, and I am despairing. He used to be like my dd, and lsept brilliantly from about 5 months. But recently (maybe since I put him in to share with my other ds) he won't settle without me nearby and he wakes frequently in the night, and also is not napping well anymore, so he is over tired. I know I should probably try and get him into his own room, but we don't have the space. I'm very tired tonight and tearful. My dh thinks we should leave him to cry, but I just can't do it. Please send advice. Thanks

TheGreatScootini Sun 10-Aug-08 21:13:37

No advice really-but my sympathies.My DD, 2.8 has always gone to bed fine and slept well (if been an early riser),But for the last two months bedtime has been a nightmare-she will not go and gets out of bed no matter what we do and screams her head off until DD2 wakes up as well.
Then when she does go off, usually after one of us has given in and got in our bed with her till she is asleep she then wakes up after about 2 hours anyway, and then again and again all night.And then DD2 wakes up as normal for her between 5.30 and 6am.
We are knackered and despairing because its like someone flipped a switch with DD1.And we dont know how to switch it back.

Someone said to me maybe she is having nightmares that are making her anxious about going to sleep (even if she doesnt realise it herself)We might get a nightlight or something?Might it be something like that with DS?CC has no chance of working for me as she wont stay in bed and just screams and screams on the landing till her sister is also awake.

watershed Sun 10-Aug-08 21:31:38

Personally, I think that you need to grasp the nettle and get tougher. I waited till it was definately not illness or teething or whatever so that I wouldn't feel too bad, and basically did controlled crying/making it unrewarding to bother and it worked. By worked, I mean on probably 7 or 8 nights out of 10 I now get a pretty unbroken nights sleep (kids in bed 8pm-7am)unless they are ill or whatever, when it all goes to pot. I at least feel that I get some decent kip! I'm sure some people would be deeply shocked but Cbeebies/Nick Jnr fronm 7am to 9 ish at the weekends helps me get more rest too! I get them up, change nappies and give them something to eat (infront of the TV) and go back to bed till 9.

katyamum Sun 10-Aug-08 21:37:40

thanks both of you. I think you are right about getting tough - it's just hard to do when he'll wake the other one, but I think we could weather that storm. I forgot to mentione that he had been very ill a few months ago, which of course never helps. But anyway, as always, I feel a bit better now I've read your replies. I am aiming for a lie in now!

watershed Sun 10-Aug-08 21:44:09

Not sleeping is torture! Hope you get a decent lie in...smile

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