Should I go back to pull ups after 6 months of trying to potty train ??

[mummyloveslucy]

When my daughter was 3 the nursery helped me to potty train her. She was going to nursery 5 days a week and doing very well. She has been out of pull ups for 6 months now and when she was at nursery she only had the occasional accident. She will never poo on the toilet, she always does it in her knickers. Since she's been home, she is having accidents about 5 times a day.
She wees on the carpet, sofa, her bed and anywhere else she happens to be. It is soo frustrating, and hard work. She has soaked her new start-rites in wee, and dispite my best efforts, they still stink. I ask her to go to the toilet regularly and she squeels and rund off. I basically have to man handle her to the toilet and force her to sit there. Sometimes she'll do a wee and I'll give her loads of praise and a sweetie. More often that not, she will do nothing on the toilet and then go and wet herself moments later.
What should I do ??
I's getting a bit depressing. She loves dresses so I've tried saying to her "you can wear a dress today but if you wet it, then you'll have to wear trousers".
It hasn't made much of a difference though.
I'm worried that when she goes back to nursery, her teacher will think that I havn't kept it up over the summer.
Any advice welcome. Thanks

[mummyloveslucy]

Anyone ??

[CarGirl]

I would put her back in nappies tbh

[mummyloveslucy]

I'd like to, but would that make her even more lazy ?
I don't want all our hard work to be a waste of time, but it's just giving me a constant headache at the moment.

[CarGirl]

but is she being lazy? Perhaps there is something more to it, is it definately just speech problems that she has, have they ruled out anything else and the speech being part of that?

Only you know if she is being lazy, some children are very reluctant to concede to using the toilet and if she has never been clean in 6 months (poo in pants) that she was never fully trained.

What tactics did the nursery use, did they just take her regularly, was she still having wet accidents at home?

Life is too short IMO, it's the holidays you want to enjoy them.

[lazaroulovespastries]

Put her back in pull ups. She obviously is sensing the stress surrounding the effort to get her to wee on the toilet.
try again in a few weeks or months.

[mummyloveslucy]

A while ago the HV suggested leaving her wet for a while, so that she sees how uncomfortable it is. She dosn't seem to mind though. If i leave her in her wet clothes, she can't sit down anywhere without soaking the chairs.

[CarGirl]

Have you thought about using terries and plastic pants - it may give her an incentive, she'll find them bulky compared to knickers or disposables because she won't be used to them. They are cheap and easy to use.

[mummyloveslucy]

Cargirl- I know what you meen. She isn't as well co ordinated as other children her age either. Intellectually, she's fine though. She remembers whole songs, books etc. It's hard to tell how intelegent she is at the moment as she can't communicate that well.
And yes, I'd love to relax and enjoy her holidays. I can't believe she's half way through already. I wan't to enjoy my time with her without the constant stress, but feel guilty about putting her back in pull ups.

[mummyloveslucy]

Oh, good idea cargirl but, she is very big for her age. She is the hight of a 4.5 year old, and non of her clothes would fit her, accept her dresses. Also as she has poor co ordination this might lead to more trips and falls.

[CarGirl]

she may well find the co-ordination of recognising the feeling of needing a wee (very much more so with poo) getting to the loo controlling all the necessary bodily bits quite tricky then.

Has she been referred to specialists other than SALT? Sorry I'm being very blunt but diagnosis should give you a better way forward of prioritising what you should be concentrating on with her.

Really I would get some nappies (I wouldn't use pull-ups they are too like pants) and start enjoying the hols without puddles inside the house

[CarGirl]

I don't think terries would affect her co-ordination she would be just more aware of wearing them and of the inconvenience of changing them (although that may not bother her)

[mummyloveslucy]

Thanks Cargirl, I'll speek to the health visitor again and see what she says. I agree I'd really like to know what's going on, so that she can get the appropriate help.

[CarGirl]

I think you should go to your gp and insist on referral to paeds, unless your HV is amazingly good at that type of thing.

[mummyloveslucy]

Actually, she might like that more to be honest. She likes to be like a baby. She has a new baby cousen and has a touch of . When I praise her for being a big girl, she says "no! I a baby".

[mummyloveslucy]

I'll try the docs as well.

[fifflegumps]

Yes, do nappies/pull-ups and enjoy your holidays, then she may well be fine once back to nursery. The teacher is not a very good one if she is going to judge you on this, I am sure that her priority is happy healthy children. I have done nappies whilst potty training when we are out doing exciting things (because the last thing on their mind will be toilet) and then a few hours of training when back quietly at home each day your choice (happiness comes first). My little boy trained beautifully with this method (wish I'd known to be so relaxed first time round when it took a whole year!). Don't worry - won't be in nappies when they're 15 will they!

[LIZS]

mll , please do as cargirl has suggested ( as per previous threads) and get a paed referral asap for coordination issues and motor control. You are trying to deal with this as if it were something that is under her control and therefore her fault but believe me , from bitter experience, you will kick yourself if turns out not to be the case and she has been treated harshly as a result

ds relapsed for about 3 months at aged 3 1/2 which we put down to changes of new sister, moving etc, although in retrospect it perhaps wasn't. However it isn't that uncommon even in NT children of her age to not be 100% and pressure could make things worse. Please forget what the nursery might say for now, it really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things and they should be perfectly used to it.