DS1 was only 18 months when DS2 was born, and we did the whole 'oh wow, what a big boy you are... are you going to help with the new baby?? Can you pass mummy a nappy please? what a fantastic big brother you are! Big boy!!' thing
It went reasonably smoothly, we did have some problems but now at 3 and 2 thay are best, best friends and do nothing but love each other.
Problem is, DS2 is completely different to DS1.
Whereas DS1 relished the 'big boy' thing DS is adamant he is still a baby
It breaks my heart as I don't want him to feel pushed out.
He has always been a mummies boy, and very,very close and cuddly to me.
If I say to him, 'what a big boy you are' he says 'no, im a baba'
and if his older brother says 'look how big I am' ds2 will say 'I am small'
Its like he knows a smaller one is coming and he is desperatly trying to tell me hes a baby still.
I don't know if this will help but do you have any friends with new or newish babies that you can / do hang out with? I found that DD (19 months) seeing me with a baby in my arms and yet still having all my attention helped to pave the way.
We also give her lots of praise for any positive behaviour towards the baby (e.g. kisses / bouncing him in his chair etc) but don't get her to help with any of the 'chores'. She loves to sit and have the baby on her lap (we help obviously). The main thing we do is to obviously provide all the baby needs but have our mental focus on DD so she doesn't feel that she needs to compete. Then, when baby cries, we play it down, say 'ooh I wonder if it's hunger / needs new nappy etc' and we both go and investigate. If I'm BFing, I always sit with a space next to my free arm so that she can come and sit next to me with a book or whatever and I try to encourage feeds to leave critical times like meal times etc free and just have baby in a sling so I look a bit lumpy but can operate as normal .
I don't suppose this is helpful in the slightest is it as they're all different .