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Behaviour/development

What is co sleeping?

23 replies

Kaedsmum · 08/08/2008 16:50

Having the baby in the same room or the same bed?

My baby loves his cot. If he cries in the night (rare), he gets picked up, fed, changed, put back down, no mess, and he sleeps really well and really happily...

So I was wondering, do some people have the baby actually in their bed rather than in their cot in the same room? What is the benefit of this?

I'd be petrified of rolling on the baby or the covers going on his face or him getting to hot or falling between pillows... and surely it must break down relationships? Because our bed is for DP and me.

Not saying anything bad about it, just simply asking what the situation is, because I hear of 'co-sleeping' all the time.

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SirDigbyChickenCaesar · 08/08/2008 16:56

there are A LOT of cosleepers on MN. we did it. DS fed a lot at night so it was just easier. now he's nearly three and in his own bed to start with but if he wakes up we just bring him in with us. it doesn't work for everyone but we like it. (and it doesn't break down relationships unless you let it. you just get more creative with your sex life!)

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FluffyMummy123 · 08/08/2008 16:57

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smallwhitecat · 08/08/2008 17:02

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SirDigbyChickenCaesar · 08/08/2008 17:02

sorry. didn't read the op properly. it's when the baby sleeps in bed with you.

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Kaedsmum · 08/08/2008 17:23

Oh ok, I thought it was probably IN the bed. So what happens about the quilt and stuff? Is there any risk of suffocation? I'm just being a bit nosey to be honest, and also thinking about future kids.

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charchargabor · 08/08/2008 19:06

You use a blanket instead of a quilt, and ensure that you keep it lower down so you don't cover the baby's head up. It is also important to make sure that the pillow is far away from their face so they can't suffocate. I found it best to have DD sleeping at breast height (and so did she! ) As long as you practise it safely and follow the guidelines the risk of suffocation is low. My dd is 1 now and spends half the night in her cot and half the night in with us. I find we all sleep better that way. DP and I have a good relationship, as SDCC says you just have to be creative! HTH

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Overmydeadbody · 08/08/2008 19:12

Kaedsmum DS co-slept. If he so much as snuffled in the night I was completely aware of it, and always aware of where he was, I think it became instinctual. I could sleep through the night, and so could he, but he'd have about two breastfeeds during that time. I guess I could semi-consciously be aware of him stirring and needing a feed, so would plonk a boob out and he would latch on, with neither of us actually waking up completely. As they get older you get lots of hugs and cuddles too.

We still co-sleep a lot, if DS wants to, and he's 5 now. Admittedly I'm a single mum so it doesn't get in the way of any relationship, and I have a king size bed so plenty of room for the both of us!

I've always just had a normal duvet on the bed, but when DS was a baby he had a little blanket and I was too hot to ever need the duvet up high.

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Overmydeadbody · 08/08/2008 19:15

and when he first came home from hospital he slept on top of me, all curled up, but I was probably over-protective of him as he was a premmie and so tiny and I did lots of research that said premmies benefitted from as much skin to skin contact as possible.

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hatrick · 08/08/2008 19:21

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Mummyfor3 · 08/08/2008 19:27

I co-sleep with DS3 not by choice but because it is the only way I get any sleep at all - he is the world's worst self-settler and has been from the start.
He goes to sleep in a double (spare) bed on his own and I join him whenever he wakes up for a feed (usually @ 12 to 2 am) and then stay with him. This has worked for us since he was @ 2 weeks old. DS sleeps in our bedroom where I also start the night. I like the intimacy with my baby of co-sleeping and never felt there was any danger of rolling over him without noticing. But no intimacy with DH... . On holiday when the 3 of us had to share a bed DH was VERY scared he might squash him and did not slept all night clining to edge of bed!
DS sleeps in a Grobag and I have single duvet, so overheating not an issue. One downside is that the way things are going at the moment I am not teaching him to settle on his own. But, hey ho, at the moment I like it more than it bothers me.
Change I am sure will be forced when I return to work in a couple of weeks ..

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hatrick · 08/08/2008 19:30

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Overmydeadbody · 08/08/2008 19:33

exactly hatrick

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lenny101 · 08/08/2008 19:44

To be honest, with my two, they can sleep through THAT, it's sneezing or coughing they wake up to!

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mymblemummy · 08/08/2008 22:29

If you are interested, "Three in Bed" by Deborah Jackson is a very readable guide on the practicalities and history of co-sleeping.

Co-sleeping is the best recipe for uninterrupted nights I know of, and babies are so lovely to snuggle up with.

You just have to use some common sense. Don't sleep with your baby if you're drunk, or drugged, and I'm afraid it isn't advised if you are very overweight.

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BeHereNow · 08/08/2008 22:47

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LittleMissBliss · 08/08/2008 22:56

We co-slept for arround 6/7 months. Regarding the rolling bit and covers. When you breastfeed you release a hormone (can't for the life of me remember what it's called) this basically means the mother is hyper sensitive to the baby. There is research into co-sleeping. Just a mother and baby she moves the blankets of the baby when it gets too hot. puts them on when they get too hot. Etc all in her sleep!. Very clever mothers instinct.

Taht's why they do not reconmend co-sleeping for formula feeding mothers.

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LittleMissBliss · 08/08/2008 22:58

Not saying that mothers that formula feed don't have mothers insinct. they just don't release the 'safety' hormone. Going to google it to try and find out what its called.

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LittleMissBliss · 08/08/2008 23:03

def of co-sleepingstill can't find name of hormone. Hunker?

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veritas · 08/08/2008 23:06

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LynetteScavo · 08/08/2008 23:08

What is the opposite of co-sleeping?

Lone sleeping?

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LittleMissBliss · 08/08/2008 23:13

Oxytocin, maybe not sure......

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SirDigbyChickenCaesar · 09/08/2008 07:51

quick tip about the blanket thing. wear a cardi over your pjs. my arms always got cold because the blankets were only half way up to stop them going over baby. cardi kept them warm and i didn't pull the blankets up in my sleep!

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lou031205 · 09/08/2008 08:40

Sanity!

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