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16 Month Old Freaking Out- is this Separation Anxiety?

(5 Posts)
Tippis Wed 06-Aug-08 23:27:13

Hello lovies. I thought at 16 months we'd avoided sep. anx.- only very minor brief signs of it. I also thought it typically involved clingy behaviour but DS not clingy AT ALL- only ever wants to be picked up so he has a better vantage point to grab my stuff from!
He plays happily a distance away from me, not paying me any particular heed, and is independent and seems quite confident at playgroups etc. But if I leave a room at home lately he trots after me, and FLIPS if I lock bathroom door.(Partic. problem at time of month as I have heavy periods and need privacy!) If I don't lock it he bangs door open and runs around causing mayhem.
He sits outside and HOWLS, real wet tears- stops the sec I come out and either ignores me again or takes my hand for about 2 secs to pull me with him then scoots ahead.
The worst thing is at night- Dad picks him up to take him to bed & we have a little goodnight ritual but lately he gets upset and reaches out to me, though we continue the ritual and he calms down after a while in cot with dad by side. But sometimes, including tonight he's gone into unbelievable, inconsolable hysterics. Once he was so distressed it took 25 minutes before he stopped shaking, gasping and throwing himself around even after I gave in and went in to him (can't leave him screaming for too long as in flat/ neighbours.) The other times he calmed down once I swapped with Dad but was in a complete state up to then. I can't think of anything that's changed in his life. Is this a worry/ abnormal? Should I consult Docs?

Thanks MNs, grateful for any advice though may not surface again til tomorrow, am well knacked but this is the only chance I've had to post.

livysmum Thu 07-Aug-08 03:02:53

I saw tracy hogg do this once...at least I think it was tracy...it may have been the mums that formed this site.

But anyways, The child was doing the same thing, desperatly upset when mum left to do anything.

The solution was leave somthign with him that he knew mum always had to have or always carried with her. In this case it was a moblie phone, this mum carried it at all times but things like wallet or watch or whatever you can get creative with will do.

So mum said to her son "mummy needs to go make a cup of tea can you hold on to my mobile and take care of it for me till I come back?" She did this as he was in playtime and in a place he was familure with -- This let him know that Yes mummy will be leaving sight but she must come back because I have this that belongs to her and she said she would be back. As opposed to the son just looking up and shocked not seeing mum there and freaking out with the sence of abandonment.

Sure enough he played with his toys and mum made the cup of tea with no probs.

I hope this helped. I've done quite a few of the techniqes shown on the tele by ms.Hogg and the mums that created this site and swear by them...this is one I havn't had to deal with yet myself (knock on wood)
GOOD LUCK
Let us know how it works out

Tippis Thu 07-Aug-08 10:18:53

Thanks Livysmum, that sounds like a good idea, I'll try it today. He loves mobile phones so could be a good one.
Not sure what I'd do for a night-time object if this works then too? We've tried to 'attach' him to various teddies etc for sleep with no luck in the past.
Anyhoo even if it just works daytime that'd be great. I will give that a go this aftie and get back to you!
Many thanks

PS Is Tracy Hogg the Baby Whisperer writer? I've seen the book- does she have also have a show/ DVD?

Tippis Thu 07-Aug-08 21:15:35

Well the phone thing plus telling him very clearly where I was going enabled me to ablute in peace today!
I put him to bed as Dad working late so we may still have that bridge to cross but still, good progress. Thanks Livysmum!

livysmum Sun 10-Aug-08 02:24:39

wow it does work!! excellent! glad to help
And yes tracy Hogg is the baby whisperer, Thats what her show is called and she has a few books out. try her website

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