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right so I have the child I was always terrifed of having, you know the one who has no fear, feels little pain and ages you 10 years a day, please tell me how you coped.

(24 Posts)
Piffle Wed 06-Aug-08 16:02:18

Ds2 is 16 mths and a fricking devil.
My other 2 are cautious careful kids- 14 and 5 now both never taken a risk with their life or limb.

DS2 whoe nother kettle of scary fish.
He also appears to feel less pain.
Walks barefoot over gravel, touches hotthings and laughs
But the physical side terrifies me.
I'm forever shrieking and cathcing him
But on the occasion I do not get there (and there are lots of these he just falls, at worst a quick moan then gallops off again.
He has falen down stairs trying to walk down
Stands on chairs and tips them over sort of flying to the floor.
walks up the big slide and then falls down again anyhow.
Jumps off quite high steps despite not being able to jump or land.
Do I have to let him go a bit in my heart?
Let him learn to a point the hard way.
I am firm with him not allowing him to stand on tables or chairs, but the minute I leave the room, he's up there.
I have been known to lock the chairs away but then he pushes something along and climbs on the table...

I'm scared...
the boy a father wants most of all, but the one who worries his mother the most?
Did you have a boy like this (or girl maybe)
How many bones have they broken? How much grey do you have? How are your nerves nowaday?
Did they improve with age <seriously hopeful>

derelicte Wed 06-Aug-08 16:11:55

I have a girl like this. She's now 3.7. How she's survived so long is beyond me.

She's had no broken bones yet <<frantically touching wood>>, but my nerves are in shreds. I think my heart has developed a permanent stutter. I have to really psyche myself up for a trip to the playground (where she hurls herself around like a demented ape).

I'm desperately hoping that at some point in the not too distant future she will understand the concept of death, and maybe, just maybe she will start to show a modicum of regard for her life and limbs.

In the meantime I take valium deep breaths and try to remind myself that they are more resilient than they look.

Piffle Wed 06-Aug-08 16:13:30


mistlethrush Wed 06-Aug-08 16:16:26

My Ds (3.4) is very good at falling over and getting up again. Have impressed friends when he's fallen off bicycle - they've started running whereas I just call out 'up you get then', help him up and off he goes again (balance bike, significant speeds, impressive crashes, including one that broke his previous wooden bike).

I think you need to make sure he understands certain words - like careful, mind and hot. With hot, ds learned this early because I often have a pot of tea around and I didn't want him to burn himself - I waited until a cup had cooled down sufficiently to not burn but still feel hot and put his finger on it (for a short time I hasten to add) and said hot - he learnt the meaning from this at an early age.

Stairs - I spent a week teaching ds how to come down safely and would insist on him doing it that way.

Jumping - I just helped him do it - and encouraged him to bend his knees.

I was assisted with the fact that he wasn't very good at climbing - a fact that I encouraged by not helping him blush

But its great to have a tough little boy that just gets on and does it, even if he ends up with scrapes and grazes quite often. Not broken anything yet, plenty of time for that!

Good luck with yours.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Wed 06-Aug-08 16:17:25

i have two like that <wibble> play pens are a godsend! untill they start trying to climb out of them.

dd2 has a habit of standing in her buggy then leaning back on it dleiberately to mak it tip so that she can escape and crawl at 100mph ariound tesco. i go shopping alone now while dh is here to watch the dds.

dd1 climbed about ten foot up a climbing frame and then nearly fell from the top, luckily her foot got caught in the ropes but she still went running up it the next time she went there. shock

dd1 has made it to four and no broken bones, but there has been a fractured gum and suspected cocncussion <seperate incidents>

Weegle Wed 06-Aug-08 16:18:39

DS is like this - he's 2.2. So far we've had a broken arm (13 months, both DH and I failed to catch him as he launched himself from the top of a slide - off it, not down it), and concussion (that was about a month ago) with a real shiner of a black eye, and all manner of other bruising, oh yes and a cut/nasty graze on his tummy and chest where he fell off a brick wall, blood everywhere. His current favourite past time is climbing the garden trellis, which is over a bricked patio. Thing is, I was like that. And my best advice is to teach them to do things safely. Teach them how to make a soft landing (we have foam mats so he now knows to move these!), or how to come down off things backwards etc. And take them to get their danger fix in safe places e.g. soft play.

Piffle Wed 06-Aug-08 16:24:35

ds2 has already had a cracked nasal bone...
black eye
he knows hot and says hot. If I offer him my cup of tea he shakes his head and says no hot
But if I am taking a roast out of the oven he seems to not believe me and go for it. I've dropped it on the floor and lost an entire dinner for 6 (including in laws) because I had to stop him touching the racks!
He is good at climbing and very balanced
He would lift a playpen over his head, he is MEGA strong can easily carry bricks and stuff.
Can I take bets that his first cast will be in the next 6 mths?

ShowOfHands Wed 06-Aug-08 16:29:59

Piffle, my 15 month old dd is exactly the same. It's wonderful that she's so confident, doesn't cry as she smashes into things/skids over the gravel with bare knees and hands/jumps off the toybox for the nth time that day. I have taught her the safe way to climb down things and she's very good at it when she wants to but ordinarily just leaps right foot first off the top stair/step/sofa. She can't jump or land but has a great time trying.

My heart is in my mouth several times a day. DH is of the 'just let her' brigade but I fear for her limbs. It's only constant vigilance that has prevented any serious accidents but lord knows how I'd ever have another or relax for a moment.

She knows hot too ("'ot 'ot!") but it doesn't stop her.

She thinks she's a 7yr old gymnast. She's a 15 month old monkey. I feel your pain.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Wed 06-Aug-08 16:31:17

dd2 is 14 months and cannot lift playpen yet but tries her hardest to climb over it! it doesnt help that dd1 keeps pulling tables over to it to asist her in her escape!

so far only bruises for dd2! but its only a matter of time. i remember telling dh during a pub lunch with his family that the trip was going to end up in a and e as i could see dd1 on the pubs playground through the window. he didnt believe me and told me that x's teenage dcs were looking after her. five minutes later one of x's dcs came in to say "your dd1 is stuck up a tree, we are trying to tell her not to jump but she says thats the only way she cant get down"

ShowOfHands Wed 06-Aug-08 16:32:30

Oh and strong. She insists on carrying things, including dh's dumbells, my bags, the shopping basket, a log in the forest etc. I'm in awe of her. 60 years ago I'd call her plucky. But she's reckless.

cornsilk Wed 06-Aug-08 16:36:19

My ds2 had broken his arm twice by the time he was 3. He used to stand at the top of the stairs and say 'Catch me' and then jump whether I was ready or not. I followed him around everywhere after the 2nd broken bone, even up and down stairs. People said, 'Oh they learn by hurting themselves, just let him go and do his thing' but unless you have one like that, you have no idea of just what they may do. When he started school he had a bumped head note at least every week. I was called into school to take him home or to A and E 'cos he'd hurt himself on the playground every year till year 2. I have never been called in for ds1 at all.
Now he's an incredibly laid back boy (wasn't made nervous or wary at all by his experiences!) and has begun to hurt himself less, but still more than ds1. I read that children who injure themselves accidentally before the age of 2, are 4 times more likely to continue to injure themselves into adulthood and from experience I think that is pretty much true.

YeahBut Wed 06-Aug-08 16:53:22

Ah, you need to chat with VVV and me. We both have a ds that is an escapologist, contortionist and mountaineer.
My ds (2.5) started very young. He managed to get the front door open aged 14 months and was scooped out of the pavement in front of our house by my neighbour. He couldn't even walk at that stage. I was in the kitchen cooking dinner and thought he was safely watching Teletubbies in the living room. Snowballed from there, really.
Stair gates went up round about then but were taken down before his second birthday as he could vault over them. Indeed, he actually seemed to prefer doing that and when we left the gates open to stop him climbing over and hurting himself, he would shut them and then climb over...
To quote Mad Eye Moody from Harry Potter, "Constant vigilance!"

mrsmike Wed 06-Aug-08 16:55:32

Piffle my ds1 was and still is like this (now 16). And surprisingly he has NEVER injured himself at all so often I think agility and coordination and just physical competence coexist with this scary desire to do stuff. Scary to us anyway. In the past I have vaught him walking on the roof of the house (yes that's correct). And most recently played golf on a cliff face this summer holiday. hmm A real rock climbing cliff face shock But keeping fingers crossed and still no injuries. I think you have to back off a bit and let them do stuff ... within reason ... but hard I know.

cornsilk Wed 06-Aug-08 16:57:59

My sister's son was also like that. She was always in A and E with him. Bizarre things you wouldn't even think of. (Eating the air freshener in the car for instance!)He never really grew out of it and when he was 18 he fell 80 foot climbing up a cliff. He survived and now has cracking scars to show off.

OrmIrian Wed 06-Aug-08 16:58:33

I have 2 of them.

The answer is not to watch. Honestly. It is the only way. Because the least fearful children always seem to be the ones that get away with minimal damage done, whereas those that cower in fear (as I did) could splinter an arm just looking at a climbing frame. And you could spend all your time watching, fretting and chaining them to your side. Or you could simply learn to chill out and simply avert your eyes.

DS#2 is my nightmare. He is also fearless and invulnerable but also likes to give me a running commentary about just how f*ing dangerous what he is doing is, and when he falls off/drops something on his toe/hurts his arm he comes and tells me in huuuuuge detail exactly what happened. The others come in covered in bruises and grazes and will jsut airly say 'oh I came off my bike but it's fine'.

I do not give this advice lightly. It took me nearly 8 years to arrive at this place of relative calm.

SorenLorensen Wed 06-Aug-08 17:09:56

Ds2 is like this - we have been to A&E (counts) 3 times - all facial injuries. He has, however, calmed down a lot - when he was 2/3 ish he was a nightmare - I've described him on here before as being like that Tasmanian Devil cartoon - a little whirlwind with arms and legs flying out of it, just bouncing off the walls. In fact one of my first posts on MN was to describe how he had climbed onto the fireguard when I was out of the room, in order to swing the huge mirror above the fireplace on its hook, in the process knocking off everything on the mantelpiece and smashing it - he must have been barely 2. Another time he dragged a chair to the cooker, stood on it and turned all the gas taps on. I lost count of how many times he fiddled with the dial on the washer and I boil washed my clothes. In the end I fenced off the entire kitchen (open plan kitchen-diner) with one of those BabyDan fence/play-pen gates - it took him about two days to figure out how to work the catch, dh had to adapt it so he (well, none of us) could open it.

I would feel absolutely wrung out by the end of every day.

He's always been a climber, he will never walk if he can run, he fiddles with everything, and he can't stand still. But - nearly 7 - he has a bit more common sense and my heart isn't in my mouth quite so often. Give it time...

Gizmo Wed 06-Aug-08 17:17:33

Yup - DS1 had some of those tendancies, DS2 is DS1 squared.

I would echo OrmIrian's advice not to watch unless you really think there is mortal danger (roads particularly). Unfortunately I think these fearless kids divide into two further categories - the type that breaks and the type that doesn't. And you won't know which one you've got until you've spent some time watching them run into brick walls.

I do feel for you. But on the bright side this sort of kid is often a very engaging, cheerful little ruffian, whose enthusiasm for life is quite contagious.

Piffle Wed 06-Aug-08 18:02:44

christ almighty just picked up dd from a party
she was on a rocking pirate ship boat swing thing
he just swanned in pushed her really high then casually ducked as said ship came siling back again (playground type)
I screamed and needed medicinal drivers wine

we now have to have dinner... sounds innocent enough I know but the highchair to him (tripp trap with baby set removed at HIS insistence) is just another piece of daredevil stunt equipment...
DD is so cautious she visibly flinches when he does things...
So do I now...
Respect to you all for having them still alive and in one piece...
I hope I am as competent

mankyscotslass Wed 06-Aug-08 18:13:34

Littlest Manky is like this. He is now 33 months and so far had smashed out his two front teeth (had to have the cracked stumps removed under GA), split his head open and had to have it superglued, choked really badly, to the point he was purple twice thanks to toys which had never been a problem with the other two and were age appropriate. (thank god for old first aid training).
He has also managed to climb the bookcase, tip chairs up and once ran and fell and hit his head so hard on the ground you could see the pattern of the concrete imprinted on his head.
A&E have a thick folder with his name on it. I cringed when the doctor looked at it last time, I swear I thought he was reaching for the phone to call SS.
THe older two are really mild specimens, so I was not prepared.
I am going to update my first aid training this autumn.

ShePeeTeePee Wed 06-Aug-08 18:39:44

What scary reading this thread makes! Piffle, mine certainly has improved with age. Started to become a little less wild at about 3 and a quarter - now at four is nowhere near as dangerous (save the odd moment of madness). Second child didn't seem to inherit thrill seeking gene thank goodness.

ScoobyDoo Wed 06-Aug-08 18:47:06

Oh god reading this thread scares me, my dd is exactly this she has no fear, nothing fazes her, she is made of steel i swear.

She is 2.6 & anything she does petrifies me, she has not had any broken bones so far, she likes to pick things up that really she should not be able to do but she wants to move everything & anything, she is also a climber, she walks through people instead of round them, she gives ds who is nearly 6 a run for his money.

She is definatly one of these children i have to close my eyes and gringe because i can't bear to wtach some of the things she does.

We have named her "Helga" grin

SuperSillyus Thu 07-Aug-08 06:27:54

My 5 year old dd, 3 year old ds2 and ds3 17 months are all very physical and love to climb. Ds2 was like an ant when he was one and a half because he was so small but moving huge heavy furniture around the place. Comical.

I am forever saying 'carefull' and I try to be calm and let them explore for themselves. It is a constant worry though. We haven't had any breakages but plenty of bumps and bruises.

I don't think mine are quite as active and fearless as your little one sounds though.

My youngest sister (third child) used to climb up the outside of the stairs etc and now she is an energetic outdoorsy woman.

wombleprincess Thu 07-Aug-08 07:01:25

hello. i was very like this as a child, now perfectly normal (well just dont ask my dh) but i do have lots of battle scars. i calmed down at about 7. if my mother was reading this she would say just make sure you always know where the nearest a and e is... and dont buy them a climbing frame (her biggest mistake).

Piffle Thu 07-Aug-08 10:38:18

he mastered the climbing frame ages ago ... Now he is finding new ways to scale and descend.
Funnily he has never tried to climbout his cot
He likes his sleep,not surprising given the energy expended each day!!
Oh well I live in hope he might channel it into sport,prob rugby if his handling of 5yr old dd is any indication grin

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