HELP my nearly 4 yo DS is driving me insane!!!!!!

[whoopwhoop]

my DS1 who is 4 next month has always been strong willed a bit of a handful, but today we had a day from hell!!! arranged to meet his friends today at soft play and after warnings and timeout for hitting, biting, pinching (me and other children) and shouting which did not work, had to take him out kicking and screaming, i tried to be strong but ended up in tears( not usually a weepy person) when the other parents gave me looks of pity. DP and i seem to have tried everything reward charts, lots of praise for good behaviour, ingnoring bad behaviour, loss of toys, trips ect i am at the end of my tether(sp) on the otherside ds1 can be loving, funny and kind, but am really worried he will have no friends ect as children are becoming weary of him already which makes me Am starting to want to avoid any social activities with him, which i know will not solve this but save alot of heart ache. thanks for reading any advice greatly received

[TheArmadillo]

what's going on in his life at the moment.

How many other children have you got and how old.

Was it a sudden change or something that came on gradually.

Is he getting enough sleep/food?

What methods do you usually use? What does your dp usually do?