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Violent behaviour?????

(13 Posts)
peachespaige Mon 04-Aug-08 09:24:04

My ds has just turned 4 and has always been full of energy and loves life, very happy etc.
He can share well and play nicely. I put him in a Fit For Sport class which starts at 9.30am and finishes at 4.30, lots of his friends were there too. Anyway when I went to collect him they said they needed to talk to me because he was caught kicking a post!!! If he does this again he wont be aloud back as they dont tolerate violent behaviour.
I was horrified, is this slightly ott? I wouldnt let him kick anything and wopuld of course stop him and explain why we dont kick, posts, trees etc but violent behaviour??? I asked if he was like it with the other kids and tey said no he was fine!!
Am now a bag of nerves.
He id very excitable and tends to throw or run 100mph but is not violent.
he has started saying things like "its gonna crash in your head" in silly voices but doesnt hit or anything?
All normal?

juuule Mon 04-Aug-08 09:27:14

Why was he kicking the post? Did they say? Did he say?
Was he kicking it in anger or was he doing it without thinking?
I think you need to find out more about what happened.
Could you stay with him next time? Maybe the whole day is too long for him.

MrsMattie Mon 04-Aug-08 09:30:19

I would also want to know much more about the circumstances surrounding this. it sounds like they have over reacted and caused you to panic and get upset - not very professional. Also, four year olds aren't always angelic and obedient. Surely they must understand this if they spend all day coaching them???

VictorianSqualor Mon 04-Aug-08 09:33:18

Totally normal, around the age of four their testosterone levels double which can lead to anger and excitement.

They over reacted IMO.

peachespaige Mon 04-Aug-08 09:48:47

Thankyou for replying.
Wasnt kicking in anger, just saw a post and kicked it! Probably follwed with a "hyyyyaaa".
The people that run this seem quite young and I wonder if they have children?
He does get bored quickly and needs direction.
His nursery have said that if left to do an activity or to pick one he seems so start getting silly, ie water play ends up with him and friends splashing each other but if directed and with one on one he's brilliant. Loves circuit boards and can wire them up to make the light bulb flash etc.
I have noticed that him and friends say silly things like "its gonna punch in your face" or "crash in your head" Or they throw themselves on the floor followed by "im deaded" I dont like it when he says these things and have said its a silly thing to say or thats not very nice. How do you stop it?

juuule Mon 04-Aug-08 10:05:19

As you've put it, it all sounds normal.

I can't see why they would ban him for that. A word in his ear from them maybe. Are you sure that's all there was to it?

peachespaige Mon 04-Aug-08 10:54:02

Absolutely sure. I asked what he meant by violent behaviour and he said "we just dont tolerate it, towards other children" Then horrified I asked if he was violent towards another child and he said" no no just the post"!!
but now im wondering why he was stood around bored or unsupervised?
Defo need to ask.

deepinlaundry Mon 04-Aug-08 11:01:00

Complete over reaction by staff- normal boy behaviour. My ds does this all the time and he is the kindest, most gentle boy you could meet (cries if I swat a wasp). This sounds a bit strange- over zealous , new staff maybe?

peachespaige Tue 05-Aug-08 15:05:45

Well. I phoned the head office and they were very shocked and said that there would be no ban for kicking a post and that it was a bit ott.
They are talking to the member of staff and will call me back later.
I am reluctant to send him back there. Would you?

apostrophe Tue 05-Aug-08 21:05:37

Message withdrawn

peachespaige Wed 06-Aug-08 10:41:27

I spoke to someone really lovely and she agreed that it was ott and pretty tactless.
Young person not really understanding their position as the manager wasnt aware of any problems.
Im sendig him back and we'll see how it goes.

MsDemeanor Wed 06-Aug-08 10:56:54

How odd. It's not like the post had to go to A&E or anything!
(ps the testosterone thing is a total myth. Doesn't happen. Testosterone levels are very low and stable until they rise at puberty)

peachespaige Wed 06-Aug-08 13:17:12

Oh really, I quite liked the idea of having something to associate his manicness to!
Its funny though, whilst I was having this conversation with said member of staff another small boy threw a hula hoop accross the room which hit the teacher and he was spoken to appropriatly, surely thats on a par with kicking a post,ie over excitedness.
Oh well its delt with now smile

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