DD (9 months, almost) seems to be giving up sleeping - esp. naps... why, why why??

[designerbaby]

Up until recently DD has been a great sleeper and a rubbish eater. Now she's eating everything in sight but barely sleeping at all during the day and is becoming more and more unsettled at night.

She used to have one 45 minute nap in the morning and about an hour and a half in the afternoon and a good 12 hour stretch at night. Now she's typically having 20 minutes in the morning and 20-40 minutes in the afternoon. Attempts to encourage her to sleep longer or have more naps are met with hysterical screaming, even though she's clearly tired, rubbing her eyes and yawning...

Plus she's waking at 4am for no apparent reason and taking an hour and a half to settle back down for an hour or so. Sometimes also waking at 10-11pm... She's not remotely hungry or thirsty at any of these wakings BTW, just wide awake and cranky.

Possibly unrelated is the fact that she's also dropped her afternoon bottle and is only taking an ounce or two from her dream feed (which I am planning to drop...).

I thought sleeping was supposed to get better as they got older, not worse.

I'm getting nothing done and am tired and crotchety as am typically not getting to bed before 12.30am and waking at 4...

I suppose it could just be a teething thing, (everything's teething at this age, it seems) but it's been pretty relentless for the last few weeks and she's looking pretty knackered most of the time...

Any ideas, wise women of MN?

db
xx

[whomovedmychocolate]

teeth - defo - give her neurofen at bedtime!

[CorrieDale]

I'm afraid the 'sleeping getting better as they get older' thing is a myth. I cannot count the number of people I know who saw their great sleeper turn into a rubbish one at about 4 months, or 9 months or 18 months - they all seem to be key ages. Yes, it could be teeth, or it could just be 9 month-itis - I remember that was a shocking time with both of mine!!! If the nurofen doesn't help, then my advice would be to go to bed early - leave the housework or admin or telly or chilling out with your DH, and just get some sleep in before the night-shift really starts.

[designerbaby]

Thanks Chocolate (hope you don't mind me abbreviating your name to the most important bit... )

I gave her calpol night for a week and it didn't seem to help much - she was still up at 4... but had an upset tum to boot. But maybe ordinary calpol wouldn't have the same effect?

I'm just a bit of a naturally drug-resistant person - kind feel like it's cheating? But having written that down it's a bit bloody daft if the poor mite has toothache...

I can't give it to her all day though? It's bad for their kidneys or something isn't it?

db
xx

[designerbaby]

Corrie, nine-month-itis really? Oh bugger... Does it clear up at 10 months

Is nurofen better than calpol for teeth?

I do feel an early night coming on - DH may have to get his own supper, which will please him NO END...

db
xx

[whomovedmychocolate]

Neurofen is anti-inflammatory - her gums will be swollen, hence it is better than Calpol. My philosophy on this is that if they are in pain it's kinder to stop the pain than not if you can.

Think of it from their PoV they can't understand what's going on. It just HURTS!

[RB1]

you have just described exactely what is happening with my DS who is nearly 9 mths.
i work full time so end up in bed at 9pm though 9am seems pretty attractive some mornings!

[Jamstar]

if the crying stops when they are picked up, having wailed in their cot at 2am and again at 4am, is this still likely to be sore gums, or simply a lonely baby? My 8 month old is now giving us a hard time...

[ladymoo]

ME TOO!!! DS is exactly the same - wakes up in the night and is just...awake...wants to play or wants a cuddle, really not sure if there's anything wrong. Am praying it is teeth though as used medised on him last night which worked like a dream...x

[ladymoo]

PS - does it get better????

[whomovedmychocolate]

YES it does stop. But it can take a few months (sorry!)

Oh and they become buggers in other ways after that! Plus they are more mobile when they get older so they can make much more trouble!

[ladymoo]

Thanks chocolate! I am kind of hoping that with more sleep I will be able to cope better with his horrors!! x

[whomovedmychocolate]

You say this ladymoo but I felt like that and you start to get some sleep and then you feel more like yourself and the end result is that you end up getting pregnant again and then guess what happens?

[designerbaby]

Wry laughter from this end...

Is there any period in the next few months which doesn't involve teething/increased mobility leading to wound up baby/fighting sleep/learning to throw tantrums/discovering that spitting food is more fun than swallowing it/throwing it is even better/making mummy say 'ouch, ow, ow, ouch NO you little bugger' by scratching or pulling hair is better fun still... repeat ad infinitum...

My lovely sweet little baby seems to be turning into a monster before my eyes...

What to do?? (Apart from hit the bottle...)

db
xx

[whomovedmychocolate]

Ha! You wait till they start unhooking your bra in the supermarket and repeating stuff to your mother in law like: 'mummy says you are mean because you are a dried up old hag'

Nah seriously, they do turn into people eventually. But you will end up with a child that says 'bugger' an awful lot in the interim!

[designerbaby]

Convinced DD's first word will be 'Bugger'... probably to the vicar...

db
xx

[ovenchips]

This is exactly same message I have just posted in response to someone else but sounds like exactly same thing!
I reckon there's a good chance your DD is slap bang in middle of a sleep regression. What's a sleep regression? I didn't know what they were until I read about them on another site (which I also love) called Ask Moxie. Attempts to insert link moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2006/02/qa_what_are_sle.html

Basically they are a developmental spurt thing and kick in most viciously at approx 4 and 8-9 months. The idea of sleep regressions makes a lot of sense to me and certainly affected my DD hugely. Whilst knowing about them doesn't stop them from happening, at least there's some comfort to be had from knowing it's not something you're doing/not doing and that basically it will right itself.

[ladymoo]

Brilliant!! Thank you so much for the link ovenchips, that is soooooo useful, feel loads better now. Don't have to worry about picking him up & cuddling back to sleep/getting into bad habits etc. etc. as he just has 9monthitis!!! poor little mite. I might not be quite so understanding at 2 in the morning when this winefuzz has worn off

[ladymoo]

Brilliant!! Thank you so much for the link ovenchips, that is soooooo useful, feel loads better now. Don't have to worry about picking him up & cuddling back to sleep/getting into bad habits etc. etc. as he just has 9monthitis!!! poor little mite. I might not be quite so understanding at 2 in the morning when this winefuzz has worn off

[ladymoo]

Designer baby has there been any improvement?? Getting worried now that i should be thinking about controlled crying argh...

[AddictedtoCrunchies]

I have just joined this site and this is the first thread I've read. And I'm in bits laughing!! Escpecially about saying bugger to the vicar.

My boy is six months and has decided that 2 - 4am is playtime. He's not hungry or wet - just wants to play.

I'm knackered but at least I'm smiling now.

[AddictedtoCrunchies]

I have just joined this site and this is the first thread I've read. And I'm in bits laughing!! Escpecially about saying bugger to the vicar.

My boy is six months and has decided that 2 - 4am is playtime. He's not hungry or wet - just wants to play.

I'm knackered but at least I'm smiling now.

[meandmyjoe]

Just to offer you all some hope. My ds slept through from 10 weeks (I was so smug!) and it totally bit me in the arse at 8.5 months when he suddenly started not wanting to be put in his cot at bed time, we had to stay in the room with him and keep laying him down, he screaed if we tried to leave and often cried if we didn't pick him up. That got worse around 9 months and he started waking every 2-4 hours and not wanting to be put back down. We were knackered. I put it down to teething at the time but it also tied in with him learning to stand up and also the beginning of separation anxiety. Just a light at the end of the tunnel, he's 12 months now and has been settling himself for the past month and is back to sleeping through, no crying, he just seemed to grow out of it. It could be a developmental thing, maybe just him wanting to be with us, not sure. Don't think it was teething with hindsight as he got 2 more teeth last week but slept like a dream. Good luck, hang in there it should get better soon.

[ladymoo]

Thanks so much m&mj - did you ever do controlled crying or did you pick up etc. & he grew out of it anyway?? am so worried am doing the wrong thing cuddling back to sleep but at the mo seems like the easiest thing to do...

[designerbaby]

HI Ladymoo et al...

Yes, things have improved... somewhat... Lo and behold two more teeth have appeared, and we're having a bit of a respite on the sleeping front. I think there's another one on the way though, so I don't expect it to last, just ejoying it while it does.

Also she's just undergone a pretty huge developmental leap, it seems ? started to properly crawl, stand up and cruise a bit, expanding her vocabulary daily, so i think that might be a part of it - she often wakes herself up by seemingly having pushed up to a sit and being to sleepy to figure out how to get back down again.

Her naps are still much reduced - she's cut her lunchtime one from about an hour and a half to about 45 minutes - don't know why, but it doesn't seem to make a difference to her nighttime sleep or her enjoyment of the afternoon so I'm trying not to worry about it.

BTW, Ladymoo, DD has always been cuddled to sleep - she generally wakes up briefly when laid in the cot, but drifts off again almost immediately. The books seem to think this is a disasterous thing to do, but she likes it, I like it (and much prefer it to hearing her her 'crying down') and find it the path of least resistance with nightime wakings. She seems able to settle herself often enough, which leads me to think it's not so much of a problem after all. And I hope she sees bedtime as a nice snuggly time rather than something to be dreaded...

While Controlled Crying may work for some, (and may well be the only only option in extereme cases) I know it's just not something I could cope with. I may get a bit less sleep in the long run, I guess, but hey, I'll live... And that's why they invented under-eye concealer, right?

Besides I've now put a pillow and bigger blanket in her room, so at least I can be comfy in the middle of the night too...

Feeling a bit more optimistic at the mo - I may well be making some desperate posts again in a week or so when tooth number 4 decides to make an appearance...

Besides she's super cute again - if you say "Issie where's the clock?" in a room with a clock in it she'll point to the clock and go 'Ca!'... My, I'm so proud. If you say "Where's Daddy?" she'll point to DH (or wherever she last saw him if he's left the room) and say "Da Da!".

So clearly she's a genius, and can therefore be forgiven any and all nocturnal shenanigans, right?

db
xx

[designerbaby]

Ought to mention though, DD is clearly not ENOUGH of a genuis to figure out that as "Ma Ma" is the one dealing with said 'nocturnal activity' it would have been far more politically correct to have said "Ma Ma" with intent first; as "Da Da" is conspicuously absent at 3am, (although his snores may be heard and may well be what woke her in the first place).

Where's the gratitude eh?