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HELP 2 yr old DS makes his friends cry :(

(7 Posts)
Tania2 Thu 10-Feb-05 10:15:50

Help i need some advice.....

DS doesnt play very nice he seems to always make his friends cry.

I had some friends over today that have ds & dd same age and have know each other since birth. DS just seemed to have either one if not both in tears. I thought it always seemed to happen when they had something he wanted but watching him today its like he thinks about his action first. He will just go over to he/she and plan and simple hit them with a toy or something. He knows that he has done wrong and after sitting in time out he will say sorry but he will then do it again soon after.

I have tried to explain it to him that his friends wont want to play with him anymore and that he needs to be nice but i dont think that it is getting in quite yet. I know that its the reaction that he wants and he is getting it every time. (makes the child cry)

Just wondering if anyone else has or is going through this atm and how do you handle it? Its really imbarrassing and iam sure that my friends wont want their children to come and play anymore


Twiglett Thu 10-Feb-05 11:24:20

he's 2

its normal

it really really is normal

he's just a confident 2 year old

he sees something and wants it, and that's all that goes on

you could turn it on its head and wonder why your friends' children are such cry-babies .. that would make about as much sense as worrying about a 2 year old who takes things

every time he hits someone, you pick him up take him out of the room and ignore him for 2 minutes ..and you did it EVERY time without fail .. he will come out of the phase when he realises he doesn't get attention from anyone

Tania2 Thu 10-Feb-05 12:07:25

Thanks Twiglet. I know he is a very confident little boy that is very determind to get what he wants. Considering he beat all odds and got through my blocked tubes to be conceived.

Just hope that this stage ends soon b4 i loose all my friends. Just seems to be going on for so long now wondering if he will ever play nicely with friends his own age. Perfect little angel when he plays with older children of course.

Bigmumma Sat 12-Mar-05 19:08:15


My 3.3 year old DS is the same. He hits and pushes his friends and its a real problem at pre-school. He knows he is doing it because when I pick him up from pre-school he says he has bashed someone. Its very hard to know what to do and I haven't got any answers. Sorry. I know where you are coming from re: your friends because I feel my friends dont want to be with me because of my dreadful DS.

Saker Sat 12-Mar-05 19:55:52

When a child bites another, Christopher Green (who wrote "Toddler Taming") suggests you ignore the child that has done the biting and make a big fuss over the one who has been bitten. I wonder if you could do the same with this?

BadgerBadger Sun 13-Mar-05 02:16:44

Tania, my DD1 was reduced to tears everytime she met a particular child of the same age. As were most other children .

DD is far from a cry baby but is gentle and (was!) quiet, so she didn't know how else to react to bites/hits/kicks/snatching etc. In the end the end, we found the most effective way of dealing with it was to remove the 'stronger willed' child whenever she attacked (honestly, it isn't an overly strong word to use!). Either her mum would take her straight home after explaining why they were leaving, or take her up to her room if we were at their house.

It worked quite quickly, they play brilliantly together now and seem to have learnt a little respect for their respective differences (they are each nearing 3 years). It was at about 18 months that we started this approach.
(Actually, I started it by asking them to leave after two severe bashes to DD1's face.)


jabberwocky Sun 13-Mar-05 03:38:28

We had a similar situation as far as a friend's ds being extremely aggressive towards ds. I just stopped them playing together for several months. Now, the little boy knows that if he hits, kicks, bites, etc. everything stops and he is not allowed to play anymore.

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