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effects of parents separation on toddlers... or do 18mo go through separation anxiety again?

(4 Posts)
ratbunny Wed 30-Jul-08 19:04:12

It has been 2 1/2 months now, since xh left, and he sees ds regularly (once in the week, and every saturday).
ds has been very stable, reasonably confident etc. but he is very clingy at the mo, and this is beginning to affect his sleep thread here.

Could this be related to the separation? Or is this a normal (ish) stage they all go through. He was very clingy when he was 10 mo or so, and we got through that no problems..

Needless to say I am giving him loads of love in the daytime, and he gets lots of love off nanny too, but the going to bed issue is driving me insane..

noonki Wed 30-Jul-08 19:34:23

My DS went through a similar situation at that age -

he discovered 'getting scared' and that the big wide world is a big place.

Mine definately go through seperation phases again and again - I am sure the disruption will have some impact as all changes do to some extent but it won't last,

do you think you have maybe been a bit more lax with a routine as you are having a hard time?

but doin't beat yourself up about it- kids adapt very well, keep up the love and the rest will settle down (())

Molliesmum Wed 30-Jul-08 22:12:19

I have a 20 month old who is so clingy she will not even let her dad touch her if she is in one of her moods. I went to see a friend's new baby tonight and she was still up when I got back at 9.15. She just will not let her dad look after her at all. I have to say she does go through phases of geting better and worseagain! Nightmare!

mojoawol Thu 31-Jul-08 10:16:07

My 3yo DS goes through phased - me and ex split when DS was 1, then moved house twice in space of a year. With each big thing, he went through clingy phase for a while. Even now, we have been settled in flat for a year, sees Dad regularly, but has never totally settled and sleeps in my bed most nights, which he never did before. He also gets night terrors, but don't think these are to do with anything else.
They do seem to just go through phases.
Also, a few friends with kids similar age, noticed that at around 2 they started having nightmares and getting fear, think its a developmental phase of imagination also.
You're doing great - and it will pass!

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