Toddlers sharing a bedroom

[almostmidnight]

Hello, haven't been on here for a while now but needing some advice. I have moved into a smaller house and am a single mum to my 2 daughters aged 2 1/2 and an almost 4 year old who now have to share a bedroom. I try putting the most tired one to bed first in the hope they will be asleep when the other goes but sometimes they are still awake. This is when the trouble starts. I wouldn't mind if they stayed in their beds and talked but they are up on their beds, looking out of the window, getting out cuddly toys which they pile on bed (now removed) and coming out of their room. I usually end up separating them and putting one in my bed until they sleep but I don't want to keep doing this indefinitely. Any suggestions would be gratefully received.

They also delight in saying what they think are rude things at the moment specifically "pooh pooh pants" and "boobies". Should I just ignore this behaviour, although I don't consider it good behaviour when I am out with them. Cheers

[quinne]

My sons shared a bedroom at the same ages. It seemed to help make them closer.
The only thing which never worked for me was separate bed times as the one going early could not settle knowing their was an option for staying up.
I guess you have a bed time routine with all the usual signals that it is now time to sleep?
When my boys did this I said "BED, NOW!!!" and they knew from my voice that there was no negotiation. I guess though you've tried all this and it doesn't work?
My only suggestion then is to be inflexible about whether it is ok to play for a while after they've gone to bed. Sorry I'd like to help more but I can't see any other way. Maybe some others know some better tricks?

As to rude words. I'd ignore it in a 2 year old and begin to gently correct it in a 4 year old. That's a bit difficult though when they are within earshot of each other. 2 is too early to try to correct though IMO, so maybe best to ignore it in both (just don't react at all).

[Elkat]

My two girls share. The eldest (almost 5) is on the top bunk and we allow her to look at books quietly whilst the youngest one goes to sleep. The rule is they go to bed together so that the youngest (almost 2) thinks her big sister is also going to bed, but we let the eldest one look at books quietly. If she is naughty, then she is put to sleep in our bed (or the youngest one is) and alone. That is seen as a punishment, so they try to avoid that. HTH

[PinkTulips]

my two are 3.6 and 2 (in 2 days )

they've shared a room since ds was 8 months and even before then they had exactly the same bedtime routine. we bath them together, get them dressed for bed, read stories, dd gets tucked up while ds had a feed and then i give them a big cuddle each and leave them usually by about 7.30.

the odd night one or the other acts up but that's rare tbh as they get very little attention for it.

if i hear movement i go up, plop whoever it is back in bed (if they haven't already dashed back on hearing me) and leave again. if dd is being really stubborn this can happen a few tmes but as i don't go up until the noise leval has gotton unacceptable i rarely have to go up more than 3/4 times ad like i said, it's rare they act up.

ignore the rude words btw... or else join in

just be boring and consistent and make sure they're wound down properly before bed with a nice routine

[Nemoandthefishes]

my dds share and they are 18mths and 2.7yrs and for the past 3mths I have put them to bed at the same time and basically dont go in unless they are coming out of the room!!So I ignore the messing with teddy and books and shouting[obv unless crying/killing each other] and let them get on with it..usually within half hour or so they are asleep

[UniversallyChallenged]

I have 3 and 4 year olds and tried putting them to bed at same time, which ended up just like your two!
So 3 year old goes about 6.45 and asleep by 7.30. During the 45 mins he is going to sleep i read to the 4 year old to try to get his relaxed.

Sadly it doesnt always work - 3 yr old has been asleep for 1 and half hours, the 4 yr old has just graced me once more with his presence - but one messing around is better than two i suppose!

[almostmidnight]

Thanks for the ideas. I do try and put one to bed and then read to the other. I think it is a case of let them get on with it. Sometimes I think it sounds worse on the monitor than it really is. I might need to move their beds so they can't stand on them to look out of the window. Not sure. I suppose I am just so used to them going in their own rooms and being asleep within half an hour.

[PinkTulips]

ditch the monitor for you own sanity!

best thing that ever happened to me was our monitor packing it in.... seems so much more peaceful now

[Franniban]

Our two share a bedroom and it;s definately made them closer. We put them to bed at the same time. When dd came out of her cot it was a nightmare, but it's settled down now. They do potter about a bit, but they seem to settle down, and sharp shout up the stairs usually works. It seems to settle down after a while, you just have to go through the pain barrier!

Good luck