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I need some advice please with regards to DD's behaviour.

(24 Posts)
DustyTV Thu 24-Jul-08 09:39:24

DD is 8mo, she went through a period of a few weeks at 4mo where she would cry if not being held and scream if I/we so much as left the room. I assumed it was a normal thing for her to do though, so I didn't worry about it. She finally stopped doing it.

But......the last couple of weeks or so she has started something similar again. She whines when we don't hold her, whines when we do, whines when we leave the room and whines when we stay.
She has plenty of toys and we check her nappy to make sure she is clean and dry, she is fed and watered, not too hot or cold. Not in any pain. She has been teething, but her 2 front bottom teeth are no through.

I am ashamed to admit that I hate the sound of her whining, it makes me want to cry. Yesterday I had to put her in her cot in her room and sit with a coffee while she cried and whined. I cried, sobbed and swore a lot at the room. But then I felt guilty leaving her to cry in her room. But I just couldn't take it anymore.

DH says that he thinks she is getting a bit spoilt, I cant see how an 8mo baby can be spoilt. He says she reaches for things and when she cant get them or we take them out of her reach she cries and screams. I just thought that was the way babies communicated at her age.

Please could someone give me some advice. Does this stage last long?

DustyTV Thu 24-Jul-08 09:40:31

Teeth are now through, not no through blush

DustyTV Thu 24-Jul-08 10:01:30

bump smile

3littlefrogs Thu 24-Jul-08 10:08:19

It sounds as if she is going down with something. There are lots of bugs around atm.

When little children (under about 5 years) are poorly, or about to be poorly, their behaviour regresses - they can behave the way they did when they are much younger.

She is only 8 months old - she is behaving like a baby who is 8 months old.

Have you tried giving her some calpol, just to see if it makes any difference. (I mean just one dose then observe.) She can't tell you if she feels unwell.

Does it last long? Everything is a phase, everything will pass, and phases go on for at least 18 years. smile

3littlefrogs Thu 24-Jul-08 10:12:17

Of course - she could be just bored. The only answer to that is to put her in the buggy and go out, so that she can see the trees and hear the birds etc.

I had 2 that whined constantly unless we were outside.grin

ShortandSweet Thu 24-Jul-08 10:12:59

I agree with littlefrogs. It sounds like she is coming down with something. She might even still be teething as she has only 2 so far.

3littlefrogs Thu 24-Jul-08 10:17:32

No she is not spoilt. Your DH is wrong, she is just communicating the way babies do.

Spoilt is a word I would reserve for badly handled children over 3, or maybe 4 yrs old.

justaphase Thu 24-Jul-08 10:18:00

Sounds like totally normal separation anxiety to me. As far as I know it varies for different babies but peaks at around 8 months.

I think leaving her to cry on her own will only make her less secure. The best way is to deal with it is to give her plenty of attention and repeat to yourself: "This is just a phase that will soon pass". Good luck!

DustyTV Thu 24-Jul-08 10:20:17

She does seem to settle more in the buggy. I have tried the calpol and she seems slightly better with the calpol. Do you think she could be coming down with something? I thought that the teething had stopped for a bit as she doesn't seem to be chewing things and she isn't drooling as much.

Should I take her to the gp's.

Actually now I think about it when we were at M&T group the other day a couple of the kids there had chicken pox. Could she have it? She doesn't have any spots.

DustyTV Thu 24-Jul-08 10:26:41

justaphase I did think of seperation anxiety, she seems perfectly fine with other peopl, it's only when we are at home and I or DH goes out of the room.

The only reason I put her in her own room to cry yesterday was because I was loosing the plot TBH. If I didn't I think I would have shouted and screamed at DD and I didn't want to do that. I had had one of those days yesterday.

it went something like this;
DD crying and whining as soon as she woke up, constantly.
Sky box broke then TV blew up.
Then washing machine sprung a leak
then washing machine broke and wouldn't work full stop. (washing still stuck in machine)
Workman can't get here till Friday afternoon (DD in reusable nappies)

If I didn't put DD out of my way I would have lost the plot and I didn't want to scream at her.

3littlefrogs Thu 24-Jul-08 10:28:27

You did the right thing. Don't worry. Sorry you are having a difficult time. Why not buy some disposables until you get sorted out?

justaphase Thu 24-Jul-08 10:31:29

Sounds like a lovely day wink

Don't get me wrong, I am not blaming you. My DS (2.10) told me yesterday "Mummy will slam the door if DS keeps crying" blush

DustyTV Thu 24-Jul-08 10:32:37

Yeah I got some yesterday 3littlefrogs. Mum is coming today to pick up 2 loads of washing to do for me. If I play my cards right she might even iron it for me also.

I'm going out later shopping with mum while dad has DD for a couple of hours, sounds horrible and I feel terribly guilty but I need to be away from her for a bit.

WideWebWitch Thu 24-Jul-08 10:33:59

An 8mo baby cannot be spoilt. She's not doing it to annoy you, she;s a baby. She has no concept of cause and effect. I'm not surprised she cries if she reaches for something and you take it out of her reach!

distraction works v well at this age, if she's reaching for something dangeous, give her something else. Talk to her, take her with you when you do things, take her out, give her things to play with. Separation anxiety is high at this age so maybe she does wnat to be with you more than normal so go with it would be my advice, and cuddle her and keep her close to you.

The other stuff (washing mac etc) isn't her fault but I can see that it must be wearing!

Do you have friends with small babies? Could you go to a baby group and meet some other adults and babies? Social isolation is v hard when they're this age as small babies don't do much and can't communicate much so it is hard if you're a new mum.

Good luck.

DustyTV Thu 24-Jul-08 10:34:17

Awww justaphase bless him. That is how I felt yesterday like slamming all the doors in the house. I feel awful for leaving her in her room on her own, but it was only for about 15-20 minutes. I needed it to be able to remain calm for her.

3littlefrogs Thu 24-Jul-08 10:34:47

Don't feel guilty. It is lovely that she can develop a relationship with her grandparents. And good for you to have a little break.

WideWebWitch Thu 24-Jul-08 10:35:40

Other things you could try

a baby gym (where they lie underneath and there are things they can reach for)
singing to her
baby mozart dvds
soft toys
going for a walk with her in the buggy
putting her in a sling if you've got one and she's not too heavy and walking around with her

WideWebWitch Thu 24-Jul-08 10:36:30

And don't feel guilty about leaving her with your dad for a couple of hours, it doesn't mean you don'#t love her, you just need a break!

DustyTV Thu 24-Jul-08 10:38:25

www, thanks, I know it wasn't her fault. I just wanted to remain the adult in the situation and I couldn't have done that if I didn't have those few minutes to shout and swear and cry while she wasn't in the room.

We go out A LOT, we go swimming on Mondays, Tuesday we got to M&T group. On Fridays I go to the cooking class at the local sure start and DD gets to go in the creche for a bit.

DustyTV Thu 24-Jul-08 10:42:12

We have a baby gym, but she started crawling a few weeks ago and pulling herself up a couple of weeks ago and yesterday in the middle of all the chaos, she stood on her own not holding on anything. Looks like she will be walking sooner that we thought.

I used to carry her in the sling, she's too heavy for me now, and my back isn't too good anyway.

These baby mozart cd's, where do I get them from. Do they work. She LOVES music, they are a good idea. I have a lullaby cd for her, but I think she is bored of it now TBH.

WideWebWitch Thu 24-Jul-08 10:46:45

The baby Mozart dvds are fab, they're music and bright shapes, my dd LOVED them when she was a baby.

Oh I don't think you were wrong to leave the room and leave her btw if you were feeling stressed, not at all! Completley understandable. Just wnated to disagree withouy your partner re the spoilt stuff and behavour etc since she's too young to know what she's doing. Doesn't stop it being hard work sometimes though I know!

DustyTV Thu 24-Jul-08 10:49:33

www, thats what I said to DH, that DD is too young to know how to be spoilt. I don't think she is, she just wants things that she cant have like the remote controls (Not that it matters now that the TV is broken, probably all the dust grin)

WideWebWitch Thu 24-Jul-08 10:57:30

here you go

DustyTV Thu 24-Jul-08 11:01:47

Thanks www, I will order it now for her, anything that helps her to calm down.

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