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Is it sometimes better to go ballistic early?

(4 Posts)
ScummyMummy Wed 23-Jul-08 21:12:40

Cycling home with 2 v tired 9 year sons. One braked hard, other careered into the back of him causing minor injury. Fury on the part of injured twin ensued where upon he brazenly attempted to use his bike as revenge weapon. Hence I ordered him off bike until he was calm enough to ride properly and not with murderous intent. I remained v calm but firm but calmness seemed to drive him to ever greater rudeness. Was he trying to see if I would crack? Should I have gone "how very dare you?" strict much earlier on? don't know how to handle him in that mood.

NotQuiteCockney Thu 24-Jul-08 07:25:52

No, better to stay calm - you want to model the behaviour you want to see, iyswim. You show them how to stay calm in difficult circumstances, by doing it yourself.

If they get more rude, you get more calm, but maybe get everyone to stop while you talk calmly face to face with him?

ScummyMummy Thu 24-Jul-08 22:57:47

Thanks, NQC. I do agree on the staying calm but he got so very very unusually rude that I wondered if my calmness was frustrating him and making him up the anti to see how far he could go, iyswim.

NotQuiteCockney Fri 25-Jul-08 08:36:12

Well, if you'd got cross, you'd be getting cross at the guy who was injured. Presumably he didn't feel comforted enough, or didn't feel his twin had got told off enough? (and he was tired)

I think if you'd got angry early, it would have been easier in the short term but worse in the long term, iyswim.

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