My four year old prefers Dad to me!

[Struthie]

My 4 yo has always been a challenge to say the least. However, his most recent one has really stumped me. I have a DD aged 15 mos and I suspect this is jealousy coming out, over recent weeks DS has only wanted Daddy to do everything, help feed, dress, bath, put to bed etc. He would reluctantly let me do things for him tho if Daddy wasn't around. We have just come back from a week's holiday when he could get Daddy to do everything for him, and he did. It has now come to the point when I can't even ask him a simple question without him screaming at me not to talk to him. He will only tolerate Daddy. It's very upsetting as I am feeling total resentment from him. HELP!!

[frecklyspeckly]

From your post I take it this wasn't always the case though, and just recently it has become worse?

If one of you always disciplines for example and one of you is always for play a godd cop bad cop scenario can develop very quickly. (This I mean as an example i am not suggesting this is you}

Could it be that it is just that he is getting older, and noticing he is a boy, and daddy is a boy and so he wants to be just like dad, etc??

My dd can be like this with me and I know it winds dh up and so does she.

If he knows this is pressing your buttons he will play on it, so try and not show you are upset. eg.Putting on clothes, Oh, ok, well its me or nobody, and then going away and trying again in a few mins. not always possible when pressed for time I know.

Try and not give in to his demands for dad EVERY time and expect it to get worse before it gets better. Do not go back to letting him have dad all the time.

Hope what worked for us to at least diffuse the situation will work for you.

Cheer up though, if your dd is like mine she will be wrapped to you like velcro in itself a bloody nightmare

[Struthie]

It does feel like I am alway bad cop, yes. DH seems to give in too quickly for my liking especially when it comes to getting him to do things for himself - walking, feeding himself etc - v v v lazy boy at the best of times. Arrgh.
Introduced star chart to try and help matters. It did temporarily but now seems worse than ever. Took him out for the day Fri where he had almighty meltdown really embarassing, pulling pushchair over, throwing things, scratching me etc. Wanted to take him home but would have spoiled the day for everyone else. Deliberately weed on the floor when we got home. He's awful. Trying to stay calm but toatally lost it with him at that point. The joys.....