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(25 Posts)
Traveljunkie Mon 21-Jul-08 20:09:32

My 10 day old baby will not stop crying unless she is being held or fed, is this nrmal? I am finding it really distressing, please help

morningpaper Mon 21-Jul-08 20:11:06

Hello! and congrats on your baby

yes this is normal - babies only kick around peacefully in books (ok some people are lucky and get babies that do this, but most babies need to be help)

and it is normal to feel distressed - that's because you are MUMMY! Your job is to rush around after baby for the next 21 years

Do you have a sling? Cry-y babies often really like slings

ThatBigGermanPrison Mon 21-Jul-08 20:12:27

Yes, it is fairly normal. It's hard, but it's normal. Just hold her and feed her, and get other people to hold her if she will tolerate that.

Try getting her next to the washing machine and putting it on spin, or rocking her in the pram, or a vibrating chair - but she will be completely different in another 10 days, and twice the size in 10 weeks.

It all gets so much nicer when they smile at you.


Traveljunkie Mon 21-Jul-08 20:13:19

Really? I am feeling so tense and dread bedtime she sounds so anxious

Traveljunkie Mon 21-Jul-08 20:14:41

We are trying the pram - thanks smile

morningpaper Mon 21-Jul-08 20:17:36

At this age I wuoldn't worry too much about bedtime - just try to reduce the crying as much as you can by carrying and cuddling. I would lug mine around in a sling all evening and lie her on my chest while I watched telly with the subtitles on... actually I did this for the first few months.

It is TOUGH but it is only for a few months and things change REALLY QUICKLY.

StarlightMcKenzie Mon 21-Jul-08 20:19:49

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girliefriend Mon 21-Jul-08 20:21:04

Swaddling might help, was the birth awful cause she might benefit from a bit of crainopathy (can't spell but the thing where they sort out the babies head!) The first few weeks are so hard and such a shock, I remember them well - good luck! Oh and in times of desperation a dummy might save your samity - I am sure it did mine!!! XxX

ThatBigGermanPrison Mon 21-Jul-08 20:21:31

Don't do bedtime, get her up and cuddle her. Sleep when you can. In 2 months time, she will be more patterned and settled, NOBODY can put a 10 day old into a routine, please please don't worry about it.

You cannot teach her any bad habits before she is 4 months old. Just do whatever you need to do to calm her down. Ignore everyone else - they don't have to live with her!

ThatBigGermanPrison Mon 21-Jul-08 20:22:21

Oh do try a nice big cherry dummy - I hated the idea of these and they are a life saver

ScaryHairy Mon 21-Jul-08 20:23:10

You could try swaddling her if you want to put her down.

Also chanting to yourself "this will pass" might help!! In a week or two she'll be so changed and you will have entirely different worries.

Also, she isn't anxious. She's thinking she feels safe when you (the provider of food and warmth) are near, so she makes the only noise she can - crying - to make herself understood. So don't stress too much about the crying, it's just her way of talking to you.

Traveljunkie Mon 21-Jul-08 21:23:08

Thank you everyone, I have just fed her for 45 mins, when I put her down the screaming started again....this will stop...this will stop...I know babies cry it's just the hysteria that upsets me! Thanks all

FattipuffsandThinnifers Mon 21-Jul-08 21:33:02

Congrats on your new baby. The crying is totally normal and to be expected. She's still so young and just needs food, sleep and feeling secure. Definitely try swaddling her. If she still cries after a feed, it could be either she hasn't had quite enough, or maybe wind. And newborns won't have any idea of night/day yet so, sadly for you, there'll be a lot of cuddling/swaying to sleep/sleeping on you for a few more weeks! Good luck, and try and get as much rest as you can when she does.

Traveljunkie Mon 21-Jul-08 21:38:15

I think i was lulled into a false sense as she was so easy for the first 9 days!!! Thanks for all advice smile

StarlightMcKenzie Mon 21-Jul-08 21:38:37

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Umlellala Mon 21-Jul-08 21:39:25

Ahhh, this is so reassuring as my dh walks our 4 day old round the room. We have a (completely delightful and as I recall angel baby) two year old and can't believe I have forgotten ALL the newborn stuff!! grin

so far what's working is:
- feeding. constantly
- walking around and rocking - will be sorting the sling asap
- dummy - yes, yes, i know all about nipple confusion but he wants to suck forever and I am doing loads of feeding... will revise dummy use if he seems to lose his (good) latch
- bjorn bouncer (is v coccoon like. dd is not so impressed as it WAS her toddler chair wink)
- lots of winding and jiggling to get burps out (this seems to be mainly his prob - v red and angry)
- changing nappy as soon as wet/dirty... i can't remember dd having an issue with this but ds certainly seems to.

It will pass, honest! <tells herself and OP>

kid Mon 21-Jul-08 21:42:53

It feels really hard now but it will get easier. Make sure you get lots of rest yourself as if you are sleep deprived, it will be much harder for you to cope.

She sounds just like how my DD was, I don't think I'll tell you how long it went on though grin

dreamteamgirl Mon 21-Jul-08 22:25:30

Hi Traveljunkie
Huge hugs to you ((((HUGS)))) Isnt it awful when they suddenly seem to come out of sedation and cry for days? Horrible horrible time (probably not politically correct to say, but I hated newborn days). Can back up what someone said about cranial osteopathy which is great after a traumatic birth or end stage of pregnancy.
Also cherry teat dummys- forgot the orthodontic ones- an absolute lifesaver!! Hope bedtime (I assume you mean yours ) goes well
Oh and yes all very normal, mine got really bad at day 9 when all the drugs from labour (inc a general anaesthic) finally wore off

Traveljunkie Mon 21-Jul-08 23:01:21

Am feeling a bit more reassured, stopped feeding her after 45 mins as she got bored feeding, am tense again as the sound of her crying is awful...have had 4 hours of sleep as she wants to be with me all day...

StarlightMcKenzie Mon 21-Jul-08 23:08:15

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violetsmile Tue 22-Jul-08 09:00:02

Very normal I'm afraid! I dunno why noone tells people this til after we have babies! I expected rather naively thought that babies only cry if they are in pain, hungry or tired.

I imagined that I'd be able to sit ds in a bouncy chair or lay him in his moses basket and he'd happily fall asleep. WRONG!!!!!

I was shell shocked! No one ever ever says how babies really are. I suppose if they did then the human race would die out.

I also found the newborn bit awful. I hated every minute of it. DS cried loads, couldn't put him down. I was on edge all the time, it was hideous!

I assumed that my baby would be like the ones in the mothercare catalogues, happily looking around, laying on a mat. It wasn't like that at all!

It is so hard and you have my sympathy. Remember that she is very very very young and all she has is you for comfort and entertainment.

She can barely focus, everything's new, nothing makes sense to her. bIt's natural she is wanting her mummy.

It will get better when she can entertain herself a bit. Soon she'll hopefully be sleeping for longer periods.

A few weeks and she'll be smiling, a couple of months and she'll be able to use her hands and hold toys.

The more secure you make her feel now, the less clingy she'll be in the future. It nearly drove me nuts though!

morningpaper Tue 22-Jul-08 10:29:19

One thing that helped me was getting my DH to take her out for a walk in the sling in the evening - I would just get an hour of PEACE and SOLITUDE which made a massive difference. And she would normally fall asleep on the walk.

JuniorJ Tue 22-Jul-08 11:33:33

I to as many other mums didn't realise how much a baby really can cry they should tell you about this when you vist the midwife I am sure it would make it easierish.
My son is now 14 weeks and to behonest I have experienced many differnt cries from what they thought was colic, to you have a baby that cries alot to now being diagnosed 2 weeks ago with reflux.
My advice would be if it carries on for long periods of time and you as the mother feel there is something more then go to the doctors, everyone kept telling me I had a baby that cried alot and if it was colic then it wil start to go around 13 weeks and that was it, however trust your insticts if it doesn't feel right then get it checked so long as you have covered all the basics.
What I found useful was to keep a diary throughout the day to see if there was any patterns as to when the crying started.

Niceychops Tue 22-Jul-08 17:55:17

oh god, this part is so hard. i posted a similar post when my daughter was 2 weeks. she is now 3 months and smiling and gurgling away. it will get gradually better and by 6 weeks should be easier. no one tells you how much they bloody cry those first few weeks! hang in there, it gets so much better.

quinne Tue 22-Jul-08 18:24:46

maybe your baby has reflux? or colic? Have you asked the midwife/ health visitor?

If she is not ill or hungry or too hot/cold, then some other things you could try:-
Swaddling helps with some babies.

Leaving your scent (not perfume, YOUR scent!) on a blanket or sheet might help her to settle.

gently patting her back. bottom as you hold her

singing to her (they understand singing not speaking - don't know why)

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