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Daughter just had a strop because I wanted to wash her hair.

(18 Posts)
kkgirl Sun 06-Feb-05 19:14:54

My 8 year old daughter, drama queen of the highest order, just went hysterical because I wanted to wash her hair. She only has it shampooed once a week, it does get wet at swimming and she tries to wash it but it is not thorough by any means.

I wouldn't be surprised if the neighbours had called the police, the amount of screaming from dd. Why does she behave like this, and its not only this, most things are turning into either battles, or hysterical behaviour in our house with her?


Caligula Sun 06-Feb-05 19:29:28

Dunno KKGirl, but both my two sound like they're being murdered when I do their hair. I'm surprised the police haven't been round yet, tbh.

One day, i'm sure someone will report me!

Can you promise her a reward if she's not too hysterical? This month, I've had to bugbust three times a week (which was a nightmare) because DS had lice. So the kids are getting slightly more used to it and accepting that it has to be done. I give them stickers if they don't scream too much!

starlover Sun 06-Feb-05 22:21:41

tell her what i told the little girl i used to look after... that if she doesn't have it washed then she will have to have it cut off.
she is only 4 though, so it may not work with an 8 year old!

Fimbo Sun 06-Feb-05 22:30:06

Let her do it herself with your help. She could put on the shampoo etc. My dd (6) likes to do this. I have a terrible time with her especially swimming as she refuses to go in the shower before hand

Branster Sun 06-Feb-05 22:37:22

i often use the 'if you don't look after your hair, we'll cut it off tomorrow' threat and it works but dd is only 3.
if she likes barbie, could you tell her that barbie always looks so pretty because she washes her hair?

fostermum Mon 07-Feb-05 07:53:22

i used to play a game when i washed there hair made them lay down in the bath[water but to deep] and tell me what they could imagine they would see in say a magic land/castle/jungle,by the time they had stop daydreaming bout these sceens it was done.

Skribble Mon 07-Feb-05 11:09:01

Make sure its tear free shampoo and encourage her do wash it herself. Maybe try to make her feel more grown up, could treat her to de-tangle spray, new bobbles etc.

My 5DD washes her own hair in the shower I just make sure it is rinsed well. 8DS showers himself totaly but less hair to rinse .

PS I still hate water in my eyes even if not soapy, so I really symathised with daughter. When I washed her hair I would be in shower with her and get her to lean on my leg with her head back sort of over my hip and wash it hairdresser style with the water not running over her face. Sounds a bit of a contortion but its not .

JanH Mon 07-Feb-05 13:09:46

kkgirl,I don't know if it would help but have you tried L'Oreal kids shampoo in the pink bottle? It's strawberry flavoured (), smells gorgeous, pretty bottle, no tears etc. There is a matching conditioner with detangler too.

There are lots of different colours and flavours, maybe you could take her with you and let her smell them all and choose one.

maltesers Mon 07-Feb-05 13:33:19

Surely kkgirl by 8 yrs old your dd should not be so hysterical about a hair wash? sorry but i know i sound unreasonable and harsh . i have three kid aged 4, 14 and 16,and now with my 4yr old ds if he screams i just carry on washing and ignore him. i try to keep calm and praise him if it was something he hated having to do. just dont pamper to her hysteria as it will only fuel her to think it is acceptable. might just tell her to do it herself when she starts the screaming. hard to do but when the battles start dont argue your case just walk away. my dd is 14 and i battle with her and i must learn the art myself of walking away and tell her we will talk when she is calmer and not shouting at me. good luck with your dd. stay strong !

maltesers Mon 07-Feb-05 13:35:33

they do learn very quickly from a very early age that the louder they scream and the more fuss gets them what they want. ignore.

kkgirl Mon 07-Feb-05 22:07:20

Sorry guys, have tried most of these things, including letting her wash her own hair. She is just so stubborn, and hates having it done. She isn't worried about the bath its the hair washing she can't stand.
I will give your game a go though foster mum, that sounds good, and might well work.
Well maltesers, all I can say, is that you are lucky you haven't got my three kids, because they are all like it, the oldest isn't quite so bad, but is stroppy, the twins though, high maintenance or what? The boy twin, is going through the swearing phase, and she must be getting hormonal, kicking, stamping, etc etc

Double the joy.................... Huh

Skribble Tue 08-Feb-05 10:42:48

Won't work for everyone but have you tried just walking out bathroom door if screaming starts. Obviously just to other side of door. When calm come back and restart totally matter of fact, keep stopping if she screams. You have to be totally calm don't let her see you getting mad, no fighting shouting etc. Tell her your not listening to that as you stop.

Its a control thing if she is getting hysterical with other things. Try the same tactic with everything be consistant, If you can walk away she might start to feel pretty silly sitting screaming to herself in a cold bath.

Reward more mature behaviour. You could turn bathtime into a pampering session for both of you and do the whole face packs, massage thing. Let her see if she behaves better there is a reason and reward not just that mummy stops screaming.

I got into that cycle with my DS now 8. We really enjoy each others company now and I try to give him special time without sister I even got him to take me out on a "date" to a restruant.

You might have to change the whole way that you relate to each other not easy but worth it. A stroppy 8yrs is going to turn into an even stroppier teenager . Get her on your side now while you can.

maltesers Tue 08-Feb-05 10:50:44

scribble is right kkgirl. my two older kids are very dd of 14 yrs is now a madame and difficult. does she scream when y9ou are out if things dont go here way ? its not easy i know.

jangly Tue 08-Feb-05 10:54:42

Is she too big for a shampoo shield from tesco or mothercare? Perhaps you could snip one a bit to make it bigger.

kkgirl Tue 08-Feb-05 16:00:44

Thing is I did stay calm, and I continued to wash her hair, but did feel mean just chucking jugs of water over her.
She behaves well if we are out, but does quite a lot of kicking, stamping, etc indoors.
I do try to cajole her into bathtime, ie let her use my best shampoo conditioner. Its not the bath she hates its the hairwashing.

JanH Tue 08-Feb-05 16:06:17

How about telling her she doesn't need to wash it any more? See how skanky she'll let it get before she caves in?

kkgirl Tue 08-Feb-05 17:40:33



Could try, but this is the girl who when I was trying to potty train at 3+ would just wet herself, not tell me, and I would find that her tights were warm and wet!!
She would probably go years without washing her hair.

JanH Tue 08-Feb-05 19:10:19

Well, yes, but she is 8 now - I bet her friends would start to say something after a while. Peer pressure can be useful.

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