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DS 2yrs refusing to feed himself

(18 Posts)
Triggles Wed 16-Jul-08 13:03:53

DS is going to be 2 next week. We were initially making some progress using a spoon (limited, I will admit, but some progress) a few months ago. Then in the last month or so, he has refused to use the spoon, and even with sandwiches he just throws it on the floor. He will eat if you feed him, but if you hand him something - like a sandwich or a biscuit - he will toss it on the floor - sometimes he'll take one bite first, then toss it. How do I fix this? It's making me mental!! I never had this issue with DD at all!

forevared Wed 16-Jul-08 13:16:57

Had this problem with mine. Hope you have better luck though as it took me months to get over this. In the end I just stopped getting upset about it and fed him myself. I'd always give him his own spoon aswell and praised him to the hilt when he did feed himself. He's now 2.6 and feeds himself all the time. If you feel he's old enough to understand it might be worth doing a star/reward chart. It works wonders with our ds for other problems.

juuule Wed 16-Jul-08 13:17:49

My eldest did this, even to the point of putting his hands behind his back
He grew out of it. Sometimes I'd feed him and sometimes I would say he would have to wait until I'd finished something else by which time he'd already started to feed himself.
Just have patience (easier said than done sometimes, I know) and in time he'll work out that it's quicker to feed himself than wait to be fed

Triggles Wed 16-Jul-08 13:18:30

Oh, and when he throws things, he's not angry or upset. He simply tosses them. For example, he's become fanatical about eating the crusts on his bread - he loves it and eats it first. So since he can't maneuvre the cut sandwich to where he can just eat the crust, he just tosses the sandwich over the side of the highchair tray.

I tried to get around that by cutting the sandwich into little bite sized pieces, but then he just eats the pieces with crust and tosses the other pieces over the side. hmm

LilRedWhiskGers Wed 16-Jul-08 13:21:18

The only way I got around DD throwing food off her highchair was to say, "If you throw it on the floor, you don't get any more." After a day of throwing everything on the floor - and becoming increasingly hungry - she got the hint that I wasn't going to react and now rarely throw food away.

Triggles Wed 16-Jul-08 13:23:41

Patience - heaven knows I'm trying. LOL At the moment, I'm sitting here praising him when he picks up a piece and eats it, and telling him "no" in a firm voice when he throws it over the edge. Hoping he'll figure it out soon. As I sit here and look at the floor, every single piece is "crust-less". I'm not replacing the food he has thrown - hopefully he'll be more hungry then when it's time for snack later and eventually tea that he will decide he'd rather eat it than toss it.

Thanks.

juuule Wed 16-Jul-08 13:24:39

So he throws away the things he doesn't want to eat? Is there anything you can give him that he would want to eat all of? and give him the crusts off your sandwiches as a bonus

MegBusset Wed 16-Jul-08 13:24:50

DS (17mo) does the throwing-food-on-floor trick. I find he's best if I just give him a small mouthful-sized bit of food on his tray, then once he's eaten it, put another on. If I put the whole lot in front of him then most of it goes on the floor.

juuule Wed 16-Jul-08 13:25:43

How about a picnic lunch. Sit on the floor on a mat, then he can't throw his food 'over the side'.

MegBusset Wed 16-Jul-08 13:26:17

Also sometimes I let him have his toy elephant at food time and get him to feed bits of sandwich to Herbert, then Herbert feeds bits back to him -- the elephant gets a bit covered in cheese and Marmite but it sometimes works!

LilRedWhiskGers Wed 16-Jul-08 13:28:34

Triggles - I found that even acknowledging DD was annoying me by saying no when she threw something was incentive enough for her. If you can manage it for a day or so, just totally ignore any food throwing, don't replace any lost food and then clear up the mess when he has finished eating, without comment. Hard, but it works.

Triggles Wed 16-Jul-08 13:33:21

The kid is just odd. He'll take a bite of biscuit, toss it over the edge. Then look over the edge and then at me as if to say "um, hello, my biscuit is on the floor!" as he wants the rest of the biscuit.

Now he's gone through the sandwich, eating what he wants, tossing the rest. He's happily sitting here nibbling cut up grapes from a small bowl. NONE of the grapes get tossed over the edge. He won't throw bananas over the edge either. Or cheerios.

But some of the stuff he tosses over the edge he will happily eat if I feed him. I can't decide if this is a bit of a game for him or if he just doesn't want to be bothered feeding himself. hmm

I do appreciate all the suggestions - I'm going to have to try them and see what works best with him. Silly kid. grin

Triggles Wed 16-Jul-08 13:34:24

And obviously I can't just offer him food he won't throw over the edge. He'd live on grapes, cheerios, bananas and bread crust! LOL

ruddynorah Wed 16-Jul-08 13:38:06

is it time to ditch the highchair? sit him on a normal chair if you can, or get him a toddler table and chair set.

Triggles Wed 16-Jul-08 13:52:10

ruddynorah - not sure really. he seems quite happy to sit in it, and to be honest, I would have to staple his little shirts and trousers to the chair to keep him from falling over as he's a bit of a wriggler. I don't think at this point the issue is the high chair, but more his feeding habits and what he will and won't eat, as he doesn't fuss at all being in it.

juuule Wed 16-Jul-08 16:24:56

"He'd live on grapes, cheerios, bananas and bread crust"
Get a bit of dairy in there and it doesn't sound that bad to me

juuule Wed 16-Jul-08 16:25:47

Oh and he doesn't sound odd to me. Sounds perfectly normal. I think I'd go with the ditch the high-chair idea, too.

sparklesandnowinefor15weeks Wed 16-Jul-08 16:43:55

Triggles - its completely normal all of my DC have been like this at one stage or another, the main thing is to not let it get to you because if your stressed it will make him worse

I also think that getting rid of the highchair is a good idea, you may not think its an issue but i bet he will respond more if he's sitting at the table on a 'big' chair with everyone else - and sitting at the table in a highchair with everyone isn't the same to them at this age they want to be like you

I'm a firm believer in if they don't want to a meal then don't force them to, DS3 is just over 2yrs now and he will eat like a hungry horse all morning, cereal followed by toast followed by fruit follwed by biscuits followed by more toast and so it goes on until about 12 - 1pm and he then stops and will hardly eat a thing until the next morning! i always do him a small meal and he always sits at the table with the others but doesn't always eat - its just the way his is at the moment but i'm sure in a few months he will change again

DD was exactly the same, she was like it for about 8 mths if i remember correctly and now she is 6yrs and eats all her meals nicely at the table

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