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dd 12 mth has started smacking me!!

(16 Posts)
lilsmum Fri 04-Feb-05 23:09:20

dd 12 mth has started smacking me and others....how is the best way to handle this?

lilsmum Fri 04-Feb-05 23:37:05

anyone???
btw is this normal behaviour for her age?

coppertop Fri 04-Feb-05 23:39:46

Completely ignore her when she does it. It's an experiment to see what your reaction will be if she does it. If the person she's hitting gets annoyed or says "Ouch!" it makes the 'game' even more appealing. Avoid eye contact when she does it and pretend it's not happening.

mummygow Fri 04-Feb-05 23:44:22

lilsmum I think most children do go through a stage like this - me personaly - when my dd did this to me I felt that trying to sit down and explain that this was hurtful etc was wasted as there concentration is low so I used to smack her back on the hand and when she cried told her that she made me sad too when she smacked me - I know they say that smacking them is teaching them to hit too but I wanted her to feel it to understand it - dd is 21/2 and doesnt hit - infact it didnt last for long - I think you have to catch it right away as I said dont know if everyone would deal with it this way but I did and it worked - good luck

mummygow Fri 04-Feb-05 23:45:55

coppertop I did try ignoring it but I felt that she thought that because nothing was said that it was ok then

Newbarnsleygirl Fri 04-Feb-05 23:45:59

Have just got over this. These are a few tips passed on by my hv.

When she smacks someone, say you for example, get your dh/dp or someone else in the room to give you lots of attention like cuddles and say oh poor mummy. You know, really over the top. Give no attention to dd.

If she smacks you and your in the house on your own say "that hurts mummy" and look sad.

We did it with dd and she has stopped doing it now. DH used to stroke my face and say " poor mummy" and give me a big cuddle. DD now just comes up to me and strokes my face now and goes "Ohhhhhhhh"! For no reason!

lilsmum Fri 04-Feb-05 23:47:18

thanks guys!! was quite shocked when she did it the 1st time!! dont understand where she has learnt that because she has never seen anyone do it, i just didnt know the best way to handle it

Newbarnsleygirl Fri 04-Feb-05 23:53:02

IKWYM. I was very shocked when dd started doing it to me and what also upsetme was that she never hit dh!

I realise now that it's a part of growing up, pushing boundaries etc but it's an awful thing for a child to do, I think.

mummygow Fri 04-Feb-05 23:53:11

lilsmum I dont think they need to see anyone else do it I think it is just another wee experiment in their wee lives another boundry to try and push - I dont think they mean to be hurtful they dont really understand.

Clare1406 Fri 04-Feb-05 23:53:49

Hi Lilsmum, My DS still does it now, he's 3.5, he seems to start when he can't get his own way. I used to give him a smack on the nappy when he was naughty, he is so deffiant, but stopped that coz he thought if mum can do it, so can i!!
So now if he smacks, i put him on my bed, or in a boring room till he's calmed down, then when i go in after 2 or 3 mins he says, 'i'm sorry mummy' So they know it's wrong to do it, they're just testing us!
But i agree with you Mummygow, sometimes you want them to know how much they hurt you, but as i've learnt, behaviour breeds behaviour.
Just have to take them out of your area & let them know that you'll play/talk to them when they're being nice.

lilsmum Fri 04-Feb-05 23:56:15

ikwym...she does it then looks at me waiting for my reaction!!! cheeky mare lol

if she does it again which i am sure she will, will do what you did mummygow.she does it when i stop her doing something she shouldnt be doing as a protest!!

Clare1406 Fri 04-Feb-05 23:56:54

Also, sometimes frustration makes them do these things. Like if they can't make you understand, or want your attention.
It is so hard to understand, especially when other times they are so loving.

mummygow Fri 04-Feb-05 23:57:46

Clare1406 know exactly what you mean - I do use your method for lots of things - I suppose I was lucky that the hitting stage was over as quickly as it started as I suppose you cant keep that up - but I think its the same with all stages and all children, you try different methods of dicipline because they all react differently to different methods - thats why I loved christmas (santa was watching) lol

lilsmum Fri 04-Feb-05 23:57:54

mmm good point clare1406!!! good idea too...to stop giving attention for a while so they get that its wrong

Clare1406 Sat 05-Feb-05 00:04:51

Mummygow, we're currently using the "Birthday Fairy is watching" trick, that should see us through to september 14th!! LOL
Lilsmum, definately try the walking away thing or putting her in a room where she can't hurt herself, or take a a toy away or switch off Cbeebies that usually does the trick. But when shes old enough to undertysand, make her know that you are sad by what shes done, & that you need her to say sorry.

mummygow Sat 05-Feb-05 00:30:40

Yeh def agree with the sorry advise and I also think that turning cbeebies of catches their attention and they also give you therir attention and listen!!

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