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21 month dd not really talking

(18 Posts)
Sunshine78 Thu 10-Jul-08 09:28:20

By now my ds was talking well but all dd can say is mummy daddy and a couple of other words that only a mum would understand. All friends children of a similar age are talking a lot more. She communicates by pointing a lot and using signs she has created herself- like pulling at her bib when shes finished eatting. Should I be getting worried yet about her speach. She loves book and I read to her all the time and alawys talk to her. I've recently had a few comments from other mums about her speach which i find hurtful but don't want to leave it if there really is a problem - she appears to hear everything and understand what we say.

cyberseraphim Thu 10-Jul-08 10:06:20

It doesn't sound like there is a problem. My DS2 is fairly similar to your DD in that he has only single words at 20 months. DS1 is on the ASD spectrum and was very different at 20 months. The number of words is not the issue - if she is pointing, understanding and sharing attention with you, it's very unlikely there is a problem.

BigBabyBoys Thu 10-Jul-08 10:18:38

I agree. My DS, also 21months, has only just started to speak. He can say mum and da and yes, but thats about it. I think as long as they understand what you're saying and are trying to communicate (pointing, signs etc), there isn't anything to worry about.

TotalChaos Thu 10-Jul-08 10:27:25

Agree with cyber - sounds like though she's not got many words, she's communicating very well, which is fine for a one year old. Shouldn't do any harm to chat with a HV (or if you are very lucky, some areas actually have drop-in speech therapy sessions).

Twiglett Thu 10-Jul-08 10:39:26

no I wouldn't worry at all .. second children seem to talk later

my DS started speaking at 10 months

DD didn't say ONE word, not one until she was over 2 .. but I wasn't concerned because she understood and could communicate .. think about the whole communication package, does she make herself understood, does she understand what you're saying

don't be concerned

sannie Thu 10-Jul-08 10:54:05

at 21 months, ds1 was a lot like your dd.
In the past 6 months, the change has been amazing and he can talk in sentances of 4 words (and still a lot of stuff only a mom would understand. Some children, of which my ds was one, take a little longer......

I'm sure there's nothing to worry about. So long as she understands and seems interested in communicating I wouldn't worry.

Not sure if it's something I've heard or something I've made up....but don't second children normally speak a little later? Something to do with their sibling speaking for them???

Oh and ignore any unhelpful comments - sometimes moms feel the need to compete....

Sunshine78 Thu 10-Jul-08 11:01:11

Ta everyone I feel reassured now I have had a few comments and yes it is hurtful as she has been through an awful lot in her little life - was very ill in hospital for 6 weeks at the end of last year and I feel she has recoved amazingly well as she had to learn to walk again and get used to mixing with people due to been in isolation - think all that has something to do with it also.

chuckeyegg Mon 14-Jul-08 10:05:56

My DS is 20 months and only says ball at the moment, thats what interests him most. I went out with a friend and her 20 month daughter was chatting away. Very depressing! Einstein did not talk until 3, so maybe we've all got highly intelligent children.


MummyToOneForNow Mon 14-Jul-08 10:24:21

sunshine - my dd is very similar - only 19 mths but no recognisable words - lots of gestures e.g. taps my leg to sit on my knee, pulls bib and hands me plate when finished eating, taps plate if she wants more of something, holds hand out or points if she wants something etc. She understands well and loves being read to but doesn't make any attempt to copy sounds.

We mentioned it to a paediatrician (seeing him for delayed motor skills - so much for babies being either walkers or talkers - she is neither!) and he doesn't think there is any problem but has referred us for speech therapy as there is a long waiting list.

Kewcumber Mon 14-Jul-08 10:28:35

It is mind-numbingly irriatating when your child is behind others of a simialr age on anything. But as others have said as long as she is understanding well and pointing/communicating its unlikely to be a problem in the long run.

DS had vuirtually no recognisable speech until he was 2 and at 2.7 is still slightly delayed but catching up.

The only real problme is dealing with oter mums... my tip - smile braodly when they comment and say

"Oh yes her speech is delayed but the experts say its silly to worry as speaking before they are ready can cause more problems (eg stutters)"

They don;t need to know that we are the experts you quote.

cyberseraphim Mon 14-Jul-08 10:47:22

Maybe you could ask the pushy mums if they are worried about autism in their little chatterboxes - early 'talking' meaning uncommunicative echolalia is a feature of some forms of ASD. My experience, when it became noticable that DS1 wasn't talking was different in that everyone rushed to re assure me that there couldn't possibly be a problem.

SlowDown Mon 14-Jul-08 21:19:33

I remember meeting up with the NCT crowd when ds was 22 months having not seen them for 6 months and I was amazed and appalled at how far behind ds was! It was an issue right until he was 3.3 and we went to speech therapy. Then he suddenly took off and at 4 now seems to have completely caught up. Such a variation between children on talking (though of course with some children there are more complex/long term problems). As long as they can understand and are 'communicating' then probably all will be well. My 2nd child is 20 months now and she seems to be on a completely different developmental course. She is keen on imitating and hence picking up words easily. However, I am holding back on my 'proud mum' feelings as I know already that it is no big deal in the long run. Plus there's stuff that ds did that she shows little interest in, like bricks and jigsaws.

laurz75 Mon 14-Jul-08 21:26:21

My ds did not say a lot at 21 months, he pointed and grunted a lot though!
He was 3 yesterday and now you cannot keep him quiet. He holds brilliant conversations and is great to chat with. He has more than caught up with his cousin who talked early. As long as she is understanding I am sure she'll get there, don't panic.

mellyonion Mon 14-Jul-08 21:32:43

my ds2 is 23 months. he has only just started talking...he has quite a few single words, but is no where close to sentences....

another friend whose dd is the same age can't stop her little girl chatting away, and another friend with a ds again, 23 months, does nothing but screech!

my ds1 spoke sentences at 10 months (and hasn't stopped since!!) dd spoke at about 2 1/2.....

they all get there when they're good and ready.

as long as you are not concerned deep down inside, then try not to worry...a mothers gut insinct is rarely wrong. encourage him to communicate however he likes to...rhymes, stories, books, chatting etc...all of which i'm sure you do anyway.

be flippant to the other mums...tell them you're not surprised he doesn't speak yet...between me and my dh, he can hardly get a word in in!!!

Jojay Mon 14-Jul-08 21:40:33

It's ressuring to read this thread - thanks for posting Sunshine!

My ds is 20 mths and he does say quite a few single works ( Mummy, Daddy, Car, Ball, more, etc) but we had a bbq this weekend and a few friends came over with their toddlers of the same age.

The two little girls were chatting away much more, 1 could even count to 5, and I did think for a moment that DS seemed a bit behind.

But thanks to this thread I'm reassured. He points and gestures a lot and understands things like 'let's go upstairs' or 'we're going outside' so I don't think we have a problem.

They're all so different......!

Sidge Mon 14-Jul-08 21:48:37

My DD1 didn't really speak until she was 2, then her speech literally exploded and she went from saying nothing to chatting in full sentences.

DD3 is going the same way I think - she is 22 months, only has a few words (yes, no, mumma, dadda and goo (thankyou!) but understands everything.

Boboma Mon 14-Jul-08 22:07:34

I get confused by the term 'talking'. When you say not talking, do you mean babbling away to themselves (aaa, oooh, maaaba etc) but no real words? Just wondering because my DD has never babbled at all. She is 14 mths and her only noise other than laughter is 'Aaaa'. I've come across one other person whose DD didn't babble at all , but talked at 2. How many of you others with non-babblers?

Heated Mon 14-Jul-08 22:11:44

Ignore competitive parents and their thoughtless comments. We are a gobby wordy and bookish family (English teacher here) but neither of my dcs spoke particularly early despite ppl somehow expecting they would.

Your dc is still very young imo. If they have some (a few) single words then that's fine. At the 2 yr check they might ask if your dc is speaking in sentences which simply means putting two words together like "me up". DS was, at this point, dd wasn't - mummy, daddy, cat, book, drink was about it.

For both of mine getting past 2 was the big turning point in speech progression. In fact ds was 2yrs and 1 week and dd more like 2 yrs and 2 months. DS was very clear and precise at that point, dd gabbles nonsense as she mimics the sound of conversation with occasional clear phrases thrown in.

Sometimes parents are so empathic to their dcs cues, they do things for them automatically so they never have to ask or because older sibling has asked for it first. Saying, "Tell mummy, show mummy" and the immediate reward of your response seems to switch on a light-bulb that words get action. And, as I'm sure you know, singing action songs ad infinitum is also good. But also just reading back, your dd loves books and shows good understanding so I really wouldn't worry.

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