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So how do I split myself in 2?

(47 Posts)
Jimjams Thu 03-Feb-05 09:16:45

Since having ds3 things are fine when ds1 is at school, and fine(ish) when I have another pair of hands, but I am absolutely unable to see how I can get all the kids to bed by myself.

I can do bathtime just about and ds2 is easy. But then ds1 is being a nightmare- it's taking about and hour or so to get him to bed each day and usually the baby is awake then. The night he did go to sleep (thought that may work- get him down first) ds1 woke him up. At the moment dh is getting home by 7 so he is doing the hideous stuff with ds1 (nice and relaxing for him- not!). I think we are beginning to get bedtime under control (its been bad since xmas) but obviously I am going to have to do it alone soon- so how? I thought about putting ds3 down in his cot with him mobile to keep him quiet for a bit, but I don't think he'd be happy there for an hour (!!) and also I don't think ds1 will tolerate his light being left on (the babay's light I mean - he can see it from his room).

Other than (option 1) running away to a foreign country and never returning does anyone have any tips on (option 2) how to be in 2 places at once?

weightwatchingwaterwitch Thu 03-Feb-05 09:21:58

I think I'd just put ds3 down first and not let him have any say in the matter Jimjams, since he's the smallest. My friend said she got her second child to go to bed for the first time alone when her dh was away and she just had no choice but to let him scream in his cot while she read her older child a story. By the time the story was over the baby was asleep so that's what she's done ever since. If the baby was done you could just carry on and do whatever you've done before with the other 2. But only you know if that's workable. Or baby strapped in in front of teletubbies/baby Mozart while you do other two?

Or I hear Australia's nice this time of year Good luck.

misdee Thu 03-Feb-05 09:26:39

try and settle the bubs with a feed b4 you start the horrors of bedtime. hopefully he'll have a full belly, be conternted and you'll be able to get the other 2 settled (ish) for the night.

good luck, and i've got this to contend with next month so we can comiserate together.

Jimjams Thu 03-Feb-05 09:27:15

That'll be fine in a month or so maybe but he's only just 4 weeks. He's also quite a slow feeder and I would worry about leaving ds1 unsupervised for the length of time it took to feed him and get him winded etc. If I feed him traipsing after ds1 then I don't think he'll settle.

I'd prefer somehwere colder Maybe New Zealand?

misdee Thu 03-Feb-05 09:28:03

havent you got the hang of feeding whilst walking about yet?

Jimjams Thu 03-Feb-05 09:28:52

The other problem is that he;s in a moses basket- I can't settle him in there early and then go and do ds2 (leaving ds1 unsupervised) as ds1 climbs into the moses basket (looks a right sight) also the pram, also the cot (although that's in a room which is kind of barricaded off at the moment and ds1 hasn't worked it out yet).

weightwatchingwaterwitch Thu 03-Feb-05 09:29:39

Can't you do

Simple! (I AM Joking!)

Jimjams Thu 03-Feb-05 09:29:42

All the toime misdee- but ds1 has to be dragged to bed, lifted up, chased after got down from clambering on the bannisters and its impossible with one hand....

Jimjams Thu 03-Feb-05 09:30:39

Noe- wrong routine- ds1 goes to bed after ds2 - he's always been immovable on that. Otherwise that would be the obvious way.

misdee Thu 03-Feb-05 09:31:35

what time does dh usually get home? as you say you have to do this alone soon.

popsycal Thu 03-Feb-05 09:34:33

A baby sling.....a 'hands free' one?
I have a hug a bub to try out and apparently Mobys are similar (and cheaper....)

weightwatchingwaterwitch Thu 03-Feb-05 09:34:35

Oh yuk Jimjams. Well then it's got to be ds2 to bed while holding onto ds3 (or ds3 in a locked room or in his cot, having been fed?), then ds1, then you hope ds3 will be asleep at the end of it. Sounds like a nightmare.

Bozza Thu 03-Feb-05 09:47:14

Jimjams when DD was little I found it hard enough with just DS and DD on my own and DS is quite a steady kind of boy. I used to do bath together, then DD out of bath, dried and dressed and abandoned on bathroom floor, then DS out dried, dressed, teeth and story (used to take DD in with us but she would generally cry through it and I'd talk very loud!). Obviously I realise that this wouldn't work for you. Four weeks is very young. Do you really have to do it alone soon. Is DH not going to be available? I know your Mum helps out sometimes - would she be available to mind DS3?

What time is DS3's usual bedtime ATM? What time do you generally manage to get DS1 down by?

Jimjams Thu 03-Feb-05 09:55:41

popsycal- I have a wilkinet- burt I really can't handle ds1 witha a baby on me- he's a big almost 6 year old and strong- quite capable of pulling me over.

A friend has just phoned with some dreadful news- which kind of puts this into perspective. Thanks for the tips though, but I feel guilty even thinking this is a problem now

misdee Thu 03-Feb-05 09:56:58

u ok jimjams?

Jimjams Thu 03-Feb-05 10:04:15

yes thanks misdee- but it has pulled me up. WIll not complain about my lot today.

misdee Thu 03-Feb-05 10:05:15

if u need to shout about anything u know where the boards are

popsycal Thu 03-Feb-05 10:07:35

I thought the baby carrier may not be approriate with ds1 about...hope you find a solution. I am dreading it with a NT 2.5 year old and a newborn!!

flashingnose Thu 03-Feb-05 10:13:45

What is ds1's bedtime routine? Can you go into details?

Also, if it helps, I wouldn't even attempt ro bath them when you're on your own, just do it when your dh is there.

Jimjams Thu 03-Feb-05 12:41:20

The routine is ridiculousf lashingnose. I'm trying to comtain it into the old routine which has always been toilet, drink, bed, cuddle, lights off. But art the moment he's trying to run around the house touching various things with his feet, touching mantlepieces, opening and shutting the front door, into the room, out of the room, up to ds2's room to watch the train go roound the track once, (light on of course although ds2 is settled), into the baby's room, feet touch the coot, light on light off. down to the kitchen touch the dryer, open the back door look at the lights..... and so it goes on. I don't know where it came from actually- it's always best to prevent these things developing in the first place as missing out any part of the routine leads to hours of screaming. I'm not sure when it happened but suddenly it was there. That's why it takes so long.

misdee Thu 03-Feb-05 12:44:15

popyscal that ones easy. bath your ds, have bubs in bath room with u either in bouncy chair or car seat, whilst bathing ds, bath baby as well if you need to. dry and get baby ready (feed at same time if needed) for bed, get ds out of bath, dry him off, pop into pj's and put them both down.

i have 2.5yr difference between dd1+2, and will have same again for the new baby.

flashingnose Thu 03-Feb-05 12:44:50

How long is your DH able to be home by 7pm? It seems the best thing would be to spend the next week/two/weeks/whatever concentrating on getting ds1 back into a reasonable routine. You can then work ds2 and ds3 around ds1. Start with the most difficult and work outwards .

misdee Thu 03-Feb-05 12:45:25

thats good advice flashingnose

onlyjoking9329 Thu 03-Feb-05 13:34:44

jimjams, could you get some help with direct payment for a while to try and get a routine ?
we had a few problems with the bed time routine with our three, in the end we had unopenable baby gates and as they couldnt escape they got used to it, even now years later they dont come out of there rooms, another plan is put baby to bed first, put the washer on full cycle for DS1 that should keep him happy for a while and then DS2 then DS1 then pour a huge glass of strong stuff. i know what you mean about the bad news its tragic

Jimjams Thu 03-Feb-05 13:52:49

My dp's aren't set up yet need to chase up the sw.

the washing machine is an idea- but would have to time it right as he won't budge until the end. I think we may have to dog gate him in (as we call it) 2 travel barriers on top of each other confine him and he minds that less thenbeing told what to do iyswim.

On the other hand I keep thinking about this morning's phone call and no longer care how long it takes to get him to bed

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