Having dummy issues could I please get some advice?

[eenybeeny]

DS has had a dummy since birth (he is 23 months) For a long time now he has only had a dummy when he goes to sleep (nap and bedtime) and usually in the car.

Lately he is REALLY getting stressed if you dont give one to him A LOT more often than he has had it in the past. I dont mind him having it at the regular times but just dont want to see it in his mouth all the time during the day. Also he speaks so well, I dont want to impair that in any way.

I dont know what to do. I know he needs it as a comfort thing so dont want to deprive him of it. I wanted to long term BF which I imagined would be his comfort sucking thing as I know its a normal need but we were not able to do that.

What should I do?

[eenybeeny]

We used to be able to put him off by saying "its for bed" but now (especially this time of day) he just freaks if you dont give it to him. It isnt that he is too tired now - he only woke up from his nap at 2:30.

[gegs73]

I did cold turkey with DS1 apart from for nap times during the day when he was just over 2. He cried for it a little for 2 days then he was fine.

[bubblagirl]

if ds is tired i will allow him to have it in day and then if its just a strop i say 5 mins and when he puts it down when ive distracted him back into the draw it goes

i always have one in my bag just in case he does know its just for night but its his comfort so once he is comforted i disract him and remove dummy

[Neeerly3]

eenybeeny - we got to this stage on a holiday to Austria. I gave in a lot more than I would have at home as I thought they needed the comfort more away from home. When we got back they kept their demands up and then i saw the photos from our trip - not one of them without their 'noo noo's' in, I hated it, really hated it - suddenly i was seeing them the way other people saw them.

So I went cold turkey....DH was away for a week with work, so dived on the opportunity to try it - horrendous few nights but seriously it was done and dusted after 3 days.

[eenybeeny]

But is there any middle ground between giving in all the time and going cold turkey? Because I am happy for him to have it as a sleep comfort aid. I dont know. I know I know people will say "just dont give it to him at the wrong times" but its very hard not to when he is so upset. And we spend a lot of time with other children (of varying ages) who use dummies all the time and he doesnt understand why they can have it and he cant.

[juuule]

If he's upset and his dummy helps, then why not let him have it?
If any of mine needed their dummies (some did and some didn't) then I let them have them.
It didn't interfere with their speech at all and they give them up without tears in the end anyway.
Not something to stress about imo.

[CarGirl]

I told my dd she could only have it in bed so if during the day she really wanted it I told she could but in bed - that really worked well. Also if he sees Peter with his dummy you can say well Peter has his dummy but your John and John only has his dummy for bed time. You can also be reassuring and cuddling him about it when he gets upset. "You're upset/cross that you've not got your dummy I understand that".

[Bundle]

dummies all the time = revolting

just carry on giving it at bedtime and using distraction

my dd's used dummies till they were about 3 or 4 and had no problems giving them up, apart from the odd moan

[Pheebe]

I'm with juule on this one, some babies are just 'sucky' and need that extra comfort.

Making them give up their comforter because of how it LOOKS to OTHER people seems a pretty poor reason to me. Having said that, at nearly 2 years I do agree its something that should be kept for nap and bedtime (and car if long journey). We weaned DS1 off his gently, he had access to it if he got really tired/grumpy but (as other poster said) once comforted, out it came with some form of distraction.

Photos, easily solved, for the few seconds it takes whip the dummy out!