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Too FAT or Too Thin - Can you ever keep them happy?

(19 Posts)
dejags Fri 28-Jan-05 11:38:44

I know this subject has been discussed to death but I am at my wits end and don't know what else to do.

DS2 is a big baby - he is 21 weeks, weighs 23lbs and is 69cms long. This I can live with.

What I can't live with is the medical profession going on and on and on and on about it. I have tried cutting down his food - he just turns into a miserable baby (he is normally the happiest baby ever).

I am now so conscious of his size that I don't want to join in mums and babes groups and I dread going to clinic. My paediatrician told me (via the clinic sister) that he is unusually large and that we should worry about diabetes or thyroid problems. DH insists that he is the happiest, most alert and active baby ever so we should just carry on as we are.

I just don't know what to do - do any of you have any words of wisdom for me? All I want is to strike a balance between my baby's needs whilst keeping his long term good health in mind.

I haven't had a trace of PND this time round, but I am starting to have days where I can feel the old feelings resurfacing - please somebody tell me that I am not creating a monster who will be obese for the rest of his life


dejags Fri 28-Jan-05 11:45:38

desparately bumping...

muminlondon Fri 28-Jan-05 11:46:43

It must be very worrying for you. Has he been tested for any conditions? If the paediatrician is making such comments but not giving any specific advice, I don't see why it should be all your responsibility.If there is something you can do, you should be told quite specifically.

catgirl Fri 28-Jan-05 11:49:05

he sounds like a very happy baby. I have a friend whose baby was big, he is now 2.8 and still bigger than average - but he is in proportion and you should see the men on her side of the family - all huge rugby playing types. You have to look at the whole not just what the doc sees. Personally I would stop taking him to be weighed (if there are no other issues to discuss) and don't let this stop you giong to baby groups - you will discover that they come in all shapes and sizes! Sorry this is rushed, am trying to get a million things done. HTH

muminlondon Fri 28-Jan-05 11:49:51

What I'm thinking is that my dd has a thyroid problem and has regular blood tests to keep it under control. It seems rather irresponsible to tell you to 'worry about diabetes or thyroid problems' in a vague way for an indefinite time when these things can be tested.

piffle Fri 28-Jan-05 11:51:23

I would for your own peace of mind ask for a referral to a paed consultant
I had the opposite problem with dd who was very low weight and it is good when you know either way (ended up for us being a genetic issue but at least we know and dd is FINE)
If his weight and height are on the same centile then he is in proportion which is usually a good sign.
Do ask to be checked out as it is not fair having this kind of stuff chucked at you
Also I never went to mums groups as I was so conscious of how small dd was and was forever sick of explaining the issue with people! Now she is 2 I find it easier to deal with people.

tarantula Fri 28-Jan-05 11:54:25

Hi Dejags

I really wouldnt worry some babies are big and some are small. My dd is very small but friends of mine had a baby who was just older and nearly twice the size of dd when she was 6 mnths and he was 7. She was fitting into 3-6mnths clothes (just) and he was in 12-18. I worry about my dd being small sometimes and not eating enough and I have to stop myself and think shes well shes happy and shes running round fine so whats the problem. Its not easy when people are piling pressure on you to do this do that and do the other. I was very lucky and had a good HV who just said all babes are different and I think shame on the people at the clinic for making you worry about possible problems, esp when you have enough to do with looking after babe. I say go to your P&T group and be proud of having such a beautiful happy baby.

dejags Fri 28-Jan-05 11:54:53

Thanks for your replies. Just to clarify - I am in South Africa and thing work slightly differently here.

You don't see a midwife but a clinic sister - we have been keeping an eye on DS's weight recently together. She saw the paediatrician this morning for a monthly review and they chatted about DS. He made these comments as possibilities - although the Paed that DS saw week before last (on a different matter) concluded that DS is big, but happy and healthy. Neither the midwife or the paeds think that further testing is warranted but they keep going on an on about this - it is freaking me out.

Muminlondon - what were the original symptoms which led your child to be diagnosed with Thyroid problems?

I am feeling so low about this.

dejags Fri 28-Jan-05 11:57:52

Oh and another thing - they have now given us this stuff that you put into his bottle to make his milk heavier - it's not cereal but a solution you have to boil on the stove..???

Anybody heard of this stuff (called Nestargel?)..

colditzmum Fri 28-Jan-05 12:01:40

I would insist on seeing the paed face to face befor you put anything in his milk, unless they have given you a very good reason!

dejags Fri 28-Jan-05 12:05:01

Colditzmum - I have seen the paed on a number of occasions. This is stuff you buy over the counter here - they do things very differently. I feel like a fish out of water

muminlondon Fri 28-Jan-05 12:05:07

dejags, all babies in the UK have a blood test at birth to rule out congenital hypothyroidism, which occurs in 1 in 4,000 babies, and she was diagnosed at 2.5 weeks. She didn't have any symptoms fortunately but after being born quite heavy and overdue at 8lb 9oz took a while to regain it. Once on thyroxine she gained weight and height steadily and has followed the 50th percentile for weight and height since then, give or take a waver (now nearly 2).

It's so easy to worry when they're very young but if the paed has ruled out problems now, please try to enjoy your baby - you don't have anything to blame yourself for.

Podmog Fri 28-Jan-05 12:34:18

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Amanda3266 Fri 28-Jan-05 12:51:47

He is a big baby and he sounds fine - honestly. At 21 weeks he won't be burning as much off by getting about rapidly yet - he is also quite tall so will automatically weigh more. Any excess he gains now will go once he starts crawling and walking - my DS was exactly the same.
He's a big, bonny baby - enjoy him - it'll go so quickly. If your last child is not obese then the liklihood is that this one won't be either. I bet he's just a variation on normality and will adjust as he gets older.


dejags Fri 28-Jan-05 13:28:07

Thanks all,

DS was 8lbs5 at birth - so not huge. Interestingly, all the way through my pregnancy I was warned that I was carrying a huge baby. I had to have scans every 2 weeks - they estimated at one point he would weigh in excess of 11lbs!

Boy did they get that wrong!!

Wallace Fri 28-Jan-05 18:50:07

I wouldn't worry too much ds was 20 pounds at 20 weeks and he only weighed 6 11 at birth. He is now a perfectly wonderfully healthy strong and sturdy (but not fat) 5 year old

Wallace Fri 28-Jan-05 18:50:08

I wouldn't worry too much ds was 20 pounds at 20 weeks and he only weighed 6 11 at birth. He is now a perfectly wonderfully healthy strong and sturdy (but not fat) 5 year old

Wallace Fri 28-Jan-05 18:51:10

Thats strange - I only clicked "post" once!

dinny Fri 28-Jan-05 20:31:49

Oh Dejags, try not to worry. He sounds gorgeous! You are his mummy and I am SURE you'd lnow if there were any cause for concern (er, happy baby eating well....sounds perfect!) Your ds is long too!
I've been posting re my dd who is on the 98th centile (always has been between 91 and 98). Am worrying too but she doesn't look fat to me (Amanda been v reassuring about it } DS is 20 weeks and also between 91 and 98. PLEASE don't let this ruin your time with your new(ish!) baby.
Take care, Dinny xxxx

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