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AAAAAGGGGHHHHH!! Fed up with picky eater

(14 Posts)
mummytummy Tue 25-Jan-05 18:56:25

DD1 used to be very good at eating, but for the last 9/10 months, she has slowly started refusing different meals, and before we knew it, she now refuses more family meals than she'll eat. However, when she goes to nursery, she'll eat anything that is put in front of her. We have tried for the last 6 months or so doing as the guides suggest about taking it away and not making a fuss. Tonight, I've had enough, and I have put her to bed for refusing to eat her dinner. Am I doing psychological damage by doing this? Has anyone got any other suggestions? Also, she has started walking up to DD2 (age 9 months) and kicking her for no reason whatsoever. She is generally very well behaved. Again, any suggestions?

Yorkiegirl Tue 25-Jan-05 19:07:49

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mummytummy Tue 25-Jan-05 19:10:17

How old is she Yorkiegirl? DD1 is 2.9.

Yorkiegirl Tue 25-Jan-05 19:11:35

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mummytummy Tue 25-Jan-05 19:19:49

Maybe its an age thing and they'll grow out of it!

Yorkiegirl Tue 25-Jan-05 19:21:12

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Looneymum Tue 25-Jan-05 20:24:52

For my own sanity I have now started giving DD1 (2yrs 11 mos) a really small meal which she seems to be able to manage. This could consist literally of a couple of spoons of mash and a couple of spoons of mince. This way we are all happy... I don't scream and go on like well, I suppose, a Looneymum and she feels good because she has finished it all. I also have DD2 aged 5 mos and I sometime incorporate a cube of her veggie weaning slop into DD1's mash just so she gets a few extra vits.

mummytummy Tue 25-Jan-05 20:31:11

Thanks Looneymum. I will try and reduce her portions. Apparently at nursery the other day (she goes two mornings per week) she had Asda's tinned chilli con carne, which they mixed with tinned tomatoes, baked beans and tinned chicpeas. This was served with rice. She apparently ate it all and asked for a second portion. I might ask them how much they give her and see if I can maybe mirror their portions.

moondog Tue 25-Jan-05 20:36:07

I second the bin idea. Just calmly ask if it's wanted. If answer is negative, then in it goes. Happens a couple of times a week and dd a strapping lass so not remotely worried.
Remind myself that I am in charge, not her.

Think the bed thing not a great idea if you don't mind me saying. Could get really out of hand. It's not a big deal if people don't eat. Maybe we all need to learn that this is actually an ok thing to do?!

mummytummy Tue 25-Jan-05 20:43:05

I do agree with you Moondog, and I know that the bed bit wan't a great idea. I am just so fed up now with not making a fuss and taking her food away. Its annoying me now because I spend hours per week cooking up family meals and she refuses to eat them. I think today it has really got to me because I am tired and have a cricked neck!! I guess if she was really that hungry she would eat it.

mummylonglegs Tue 25-Jan-05 20:48:08

Dd, 2.3, has always been a very fussy and small eater and is also a rather fussy and small girl! But, having been exactly the same as a child and remembering how I felt with all the mealtime battles and my mum's strictness, I refuse to get into punishments and rages about it. I usually give her a small selection of things to eat, some of them I know she'll eat and some I'd like her to eat which usually get left. She's gradually started to have more and more of the things I want her to eat but I'm sure this is because I just don't make a thing about it. Sometimes she ends up going to bed on nothing but half a banana, a yoghurt and a drink of milk but I just leave it at that. Eating is about her learning to eat not about me forcing her to eat.

Having said that, I'm far from a saint about it. Many's the mealtime I have to disappear out of sight and do an insane silent scream, count to 10, and reappear impassively at dd's side!

mummytummy Tue 25-Jan-05 20:56:57

Thanks mummylonglegs. The HV has said that she probably picks up on my tension about it, and to relax a bit and she will. I'm sure this is true. I think the silent scream is probably my best way forwards. Its just so frustrating because I've been trying the "no fuss" thing for ages now, and it doesn't seem to be making a difference. How do nursery manage it? Maybe I should hire Annabel Karmel in person because her sodding books don't seem to be working!!

ourdarling Wed 26-Jan-05 09:59:21

My dd 4.6 has good and bad eating days. Lately, she even refuses my fab roast dinners! l do not make a fess (even though inside l think 'oh for f* sake'). On the bad days l tend to hand her small pieces of fruit, cheese, a sandwich etc,. and not worry about the 3 meal thing. What is weird, l have to prepare her school lunch (no canteen) and every day her lunch box comes back empty? So she clearly enjoys eating with the other girls. On good days she will eat anything and l mean anything. l don't worry anymore after watching a friend of mine who has triplet girls. Two are great eaters and the third will sit playing with the food on her plate refusing to eat. l watched her break a creamcracker into tiny bits and nibble each piece very slowly. Her mum is at her wits end and has tried everything to encourage good eating, l just remember thinking l won't worry anymore.

ourdarling Wed 26-Jan-05 10:01:40

My dd 4.6 has good and bad eating days. Lately, she even refuses my fab roast dinners! l do not make a fess (even though inside l think 'oh for f* sake'). On the bad days l tend to hand her small pieces of fruit, cheese, a sandwich etc,. and not worry about the 3 meal thing. What is weird, l have to prepare her school lunch (no canteen) and every day her lunch box comes back empty? So she clearly enjoys eating with the other girls. On good days she will eat anything and l mean anything. l don't worry anymore after watching a friend of mine who has triplet girls. Two are great eaters and the third will sit playing with the food on her plate refusing to eat. l watched her break a creamcracker into tiny bits and nibble each piece very slowly. Her mum is at her wits end and has tried everything to encourage good eating, l just remember thinking l won't worry anymore.

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