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Quick! Going to see dd1's teacher in a bit about a HORRIBLE 'secret' some others girls told her

(38 Posts)
Moomin Fri 13-Jun-08 15:07:17

Am I overreacting?

Dd1 came home the other day and said had decided not to be in a Secret club that some of the others girls were in at playtimes anymore. She said that two (named) girls had said that one of their secrets was that they out their brothers' willies in their mouths and sucked out all the wee. shock Dd1 was very matter of fact about it but said she thought this was disgusting and not the sort of secret she wanted to know so she had told them she didn't want to be in their club anymore.

I agreed it was horrible and rude but after telling her I thought she had been very sensible, we didn't talk about it again - didn't want to make abig deal of it.

However I told a collegaue yesterday (we're both 2ndary teachers) and she was shocked and said that, at best, these kids should be told how inappropriate this is and, at worst, could be a child protetcion issue. So I'm going to have a word with the teacher just to let her know about this silly club and give her a heads up on it. Do you think?

Moomin Fri 13-Jun-08 15:07:37

they're all year 1 by the way.

Twiglett Fri 13-Jun-08 15:09:27

yes speak to teacher I think you're right

probably a made-up story .. but even so it's a bit too much for a 6 year old

sensible girl you have by the way

BoysAreLikeDogs Fri 13-Jun-08 15:09:37


Innappropriate sexual knowledge can be an indicator for abuse, deffo a Child Protection issue. Hopefully will be nothing, but better to inform school.

Good luck.

dashboardconfessionals Fri 13-Jun-08 15:09:51

Message withdrawn

Moomin Fri 13-Jun-08 15:10:48

Yes, thought it was made-up as they have obviously got the 'wee' bit so wrong! Dd1 said she thoguht it was obviously a lie - a very rude lie.... I'm off to see the teacher now. will post in a bit

eenybeeny Fri 13-Jun-08 15:11:00

sorry how old is year 1?? do you know the girls parents?? If what they are saying is true they need help NOW!

NotABanana Fri 13-Jun-08 15:11:30


Youare so doing the right thing talking to the teacher.

Let us know how you get on.

Twiglett Fri 13-Jun-08 15:12:31


sorry but all that can lead to is inappropriate questioning by concerned parents which could really harm the children

SoupKitchen Fri 13-Jun-08 15:14:13

You are doing the right thing, this isIMO beyond imagination of a 6 yr old, and should be brought to the attention of the CPO

Pinkjenny Fri 13-Jun-08 15:14:38

That is completely horrifying. Do let us know what the teacher says. You are definitely doing the right thing.

dashboardconfessionals Fri 13-Jun-08 15:14:41

Message withdrawn

lilyloo Fri 13-Jun-08 15:16:12

I would mention to teacher, i would definately not say it too parents.
As a parent of a 6 year old though there is a lot of poo and wee talk in general so probably nothing to worry about but at least you have done what you can if there is anything in it.

SoupKitchen Fri 13-Jun-08 15:16:19

Teachers do not have to tell the parents, any disclosure or risk is passed to the Child protection officer who will then investigate.

Lucewheel Fri 13-Jun-08 15:16:27

The school will have someone who is trained to deal with this.
Goodluck speaking to them, it is not an easy one for you.

SoupKitchen Fri 13-Jun-08 15:17:23

The parents shold not know because the child may have changed the person in the story from any adult male to brother.

Flier Fri 13-Jun-08 15:18:22

omg! glad you're telling the teacher.

CrushWithEyeliner Fri 13-Jun-08 15:19:35

ringing all sorts of alarm bells for me - too young to have this kind of awareness...gosh do let us know how it goes

girlywhirly Fri 13-Jun-08 15:24:48

While looking at each others genitals is not unusual at this age, particularly in all girl or all boy families where they do not see opposite sex at bathtime, this is shocking behaviour in such young kids. It begs the question, how did they know about this sort of thing. and while it could have been a nosey child catching parents during sex, and thinking that's what grownups do and copying it, or it could be a more sinister matter. Either way, these girls must be made to realise how inappropriate this behaviour is, and the teacher should be told as well as their parents.

bigTillyMint Fri 13-Jun-08 15:26:30

You should deffo tell the school it is a child protection issue, and should be investigated.

However, I know from personal experience that this is definitely NOT beyond the imagination of reception and Y1 children, and so may be completely "innocent", ie not because they have seen / heard / been subjected to something like that.

MadBadandDangeroustoKnow Fri 13-Jun-08 15:29:27

Tell the teacher but leave it to the school to decide who else to notify or involve. As others have said, if there is a child protection issue here, telling the parents now might jeopardise any future investigation or prosecution, because the parents might coerce the children into changing or denying what they have said.

wotulookinat Fri 13-Jun-08 15:44:10

It might be completely innocent, but it might not. You are doing the right thing by telling the teacher.

Moomin Fri 13-Jun-08 16:56:56

Have told the teacher. She winced as I told her but repeated what my colleague had said about silliness vs child protection issue and teacher agreed. She said it would be logged and discussed within school and they would make a decision where to take it from there, which is pretty standard, ime.

What they will be doing now is keeping an eye on these girls: like I said before, it's a 'heads up'. She didn't say whether the parents would be involved and I think it's a matter for the school to decide. I've done my bit and dd1 knows what they said was wrong and how she reacted was the right thing to do. am proud of her.

wotulookinat Fri 13-Jun-08 17:00:48

yes, your dd did the right thing and so did you. smile

Flier Fri 13-Jun-08 17:16:17

you are justly proud of your daughter, how mature! am v.impressed!

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