This is a behavioural problem, not a potty training problem. This is my first post on this site and one of desperation. I need professional help and if you have any phone numbers / web addresses / organisations that deal with pooing rather than bed wetting please, please let me know. All I can find is about potty training / bed wetting and my problem is behavioural. If you want all the messy details please read on.
My son, Ben is now 5 and a half. He was potty trained at 3 but still wears nappies at night. He's a very deep sleeper and we're dealing with that issue. A year ago he started occasionally pooing his pants. The first time it happened was 18 months after his last accident. I was away camping with him and it was a five minute walk to the loo, so required some effort to ask me to take him and the walk to the loo. It was a little inconvenient and I thought nothing more of it. He then pooed his pants again the following week at home whilst playing. Over the next few months we would have one or two incidents a week.
Now it's almost a daily occurrence. He's done it a couple of times at school but hasn't told anyone. He can quite happily sit in it. I notice it because of the smell. He normally does it after school sometime between 5 and 6pm. He's now started pooing himself first thing in the morning. This week he's pooed himself three times after school and twice in the morning. Even when he doesn't his pants are very dirty - he wont wipe his bottom unless he's supervised.
He's a bright kid and does very well at school. He loves school. He has a good bunch of friends who fortunately aren't yet aware of what's going on. I'm sure the problem is down to changes in his life. These changes can't be reversed and I have to find a solution.
Ben was in a nursery before going to school. He was very happy there and the problems have only started since he left. In September he started school. In October he had a new baby brother. In March my wife went back to work and I became a stay at home Dad. All of these events impacted on him. And it's easy to say speculate which of these events caused the problem. What I need is help resolving it. I think I have tried everything.
I love being at home with my children - it's the best job in the world. I hate what this is doing to my relationship with Ben. It does make me very upset / angry. He is very good at trying to hide the problem from me - I find dirty nappies stuffed behind draws, presenting me with clean pants I know he's taken straight out of the draw. He knows it's a problem. He is very sorry and promises it wont happen again. But it does.
He had a very dirty nappy this morning. There was poo in the bed, all over his pyjamas he he smelt very bad. I lost my temper which was not at all helpful. Later over breakfast we talked about it. He was playing hide and seek with an imaginary friend. He was hiding under his duvet. He didn't want his friend to see him if he got out of bed to go to the toilet. He always has an excuse - it's normally because he's busy doing something and doesn't want to miss out - playing with his friends, colouring a picture, missing part of a film etc.
Thanks for reading all about my problem. I hope you can point me in the right direction. I need some serious help, it's ruining my relationship with my son.
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Behaviour/development
5 year old pooing in his pants
kitmonster · 13/06/2008 09:50
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