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Play group etiquette?

(13 Posts)
fee77 Thu 13-Jan-05 16:01:01

I have just got back from a really nice church mother and toddler group. It was quite religious, but everyone was friendly and DD had a great time - BUT!!! During the session some kids simply ran round and round screaming, during the singing and the prayers. DD is only 15mths so obviously sits with me and as she gets older i would like her to know that there are times to play, and times to listen, or at least be quiet. Am i being unrealistic? I just felt really sorry for the organisers who were trying to sing etc, but just couldn't be heard. Shouldn't the parents have stopped them. And when we had coffee more joined in. I have come home with a splitting head ache! Do all children scream??

LIZS Thu 13-Jan-05 17:20:34

Yes, kids in groups do tear around and make noise. However if there is a structure to a playgroup, religious or not, I would expect there to be some effort on the parents' part to to ensure their kids participate , or at least are aware that something else is going on, whether they then allow them to opt out or not. Perhaps it has just become accepted that certain kids behave this way over time, and you've just come in with a fresh pov. However it is self perpetuating as children new to the group will copy those already there.

I'd probably have the same thoughts tbh. It is really up to the leaders to take control and speak to the culprits if they feel it is an interference but no harm in making a casual comment to them next time you go so that they are aware that you and dd find it distracting.

ladymuck Thu 13-Jan-05 17:23:49

Depends on how long the structured bits are. Dss will sit quietly for juice & biscuits, and only do the craft bit if it invovles food. Otherwise they're on the go constantly. However we could usually manage to join in with a 10 minute singsong at the end (not always, so would sometimes just leave early).

weightwatchingwaterwitch Thu 13-Jan-05 20:24:03

Sorry but yes, I do think you're being a bit unrealistic! Older ones may know when to sit and listen and be able to but littlies often don't and shouldn't imo. The screaming can go right through you though, I do know the feeling!

mummylonglegs Thu 13-Jan-05 20:57:22

So long as the mums of the rowdy ones were trying to get them to sit down and not just indulging them then I think that's all you can do. I remember right up until the last few months dd was good as gold, sitting quietly through the song sessions in play groups. then she turned 2.2 and just wants to keep moving, although she never makes a noise thank goodness!

fee77 Fri 14-Jan-05 08:32:40

May be i should have added, the mums were standing in the corner chatting!!!! I just felt sorry for the organisers, older ladies who are obviously volunteers. I appreciate that children wont always sit still but there was no need for the noise, and the parents certainly made no effort to get them to sit down - dd only sat quietly as she was scoffing grapes!

Ameriscot2005 Fri 14-Jan-05 08:35:25

At the M&T that I am involved in running, the mums are much worse than the children . They chatter while we are trying to give out notices, welcome new families, and celebrate birthdays. I dread having to be the one to do the announcements (as do the other leaders).

weightwatchingwaterwitch Fri 14-Jan-05 08:50:20

Sorry fee77 but just you wait until your dd is older and not as biddable!

fee77 Fri 14-Jan-05 09:14:01

Thats what i'm worried about!! I was a teacher in a former life and had very high expectations then so ifeel DD is in for a rough ride. Or i may go the complete opposite and let her get away with murder!

batters Fri 14-Jan-05 09:16:08

Normal behaviour for a mother and toddler group. Wouldn't go to any of these groups with the expectatation of being anything but distracted TBH.

lockets Fri 14-Jan-05 09:19:26

Message withdrawn

triceratops Fri 14-Jan-05 09:32:21

My ds is horribly badly behaved at these things. He never joins in with group singing and shrieks, although he loves singing when we are at home. I have tried various approaches from taking him out of the room, telling him off and ignoring it. Nothing has made the slightest difference, I am now waiting for him to grow out of it, if I remove him everytime the group does something he doesn't approve of and give him one to one attention how is he ever going to learn to behave? Perhaps the mums were trying not to give attention to poor behaviour?

I try not to judge peoples parenting skills. Before my own child turned into an anti social whirlwind I had all the answers.

julen Fri 14-Jan-05 10:03:40

Triceratops - grin... I used to be a saintly mum as well, smugly smiling at my well behaved 1 1/2 y old. Noooo, mine would neeeeeeevver scream and shout in public, nooooo, I was raising her not to! And then she turned 2. With a vengeance. Oh well. Looking forward to her turning 21 now.

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