Eating problems again - this time I'm losing it... agrggggggghhhhhh!!!!

[leonieandevie]

Ok I've posted this a few times before but then at least I had friends and family around me. Now that I'm alone in Sydney (apart from DH and DD) I'm finding it really hard. DD is beginning to refuse food again. Today for breakfast she had 2 soldiers of toast and cream cheese some pureed pear and a teaspoon of yoghurt.Everything else got spat out. Meals are based on her watching the night garden so that I can get some food into her which is so wrong I know. I'm still breastfeeding once in day and once before bedtime, which I'm trying to cut out. Shes now 1 and I thought this would get better.
I'm so worried she's going to waste away. I know they decide when they're hungry but this is taking the mick. Plus its making me feel very low.
She drinks as much cows milk as i can get down her plus water and watered down juice although not enough to decrease her appetite.
Shes walking now and really active - where the hell does she get the energy from without any food?
I know I've got to chill out but its so hard...can someone offer me a kick up the arse?
BTW anyone who knows me by now, I know I haven't changed my ID yet after saying I would but thats how stressed I am!

[babywearingmuma]

cows milk is a meal in its self. well done to have continued BF - keep it up as it is full of great stuff as well as the emotional needs it provides.
id say cut out cows milk so she isnt full of liquid and just give water to drink (you could pop vitamins in the water if you are worried) she wont starve herself that is for sure.
offer 3 meals in the day if she doesnt eat them remove with no big deal... you may find she eats nothing much for 3 days but on day 4 she will eat.. trust me.
but dont let her fill up on cows milk. good luck and you will crack this remember its a faze - light is at the end of the tunnel xx

[bluemousemummy]

Am going through similar so I can totally sympathise. Ds is 16 months and for the last few days hardly ate a thing, then gorged himself on spaghetti bolognaise and slice of melon and some strawberries at teatime. God knows what will happen tomorrow.

She will eat when she is hungry at the end of the day, don't let her see you are stressed about it as this will put too much importance on food and may make her anxious. I know that's easier said than done. I could do with taking my own advice!

I read somewhere that they don't eat when they are not growing, so perhaps that's it - when she next has a growth spurt she will probably eat you out of house and home

[juliet111]

My son is 4 and a half and has always been a really fussy eater starting about 16 mths old. He won't anything with sauces, anything like a normal meal e.g spagetti bolognaise, shepards pie, fishfingers, you name it.

He will eat most fruit, veg, eggs, chicken, pasta, rice, bread, cheese - just all separate and totally plain. A typical meal is a boiled egg, raw carrot and some cheese.

Over time I have learnt to accept it. I think this is very important. I saw that by forcing/encouraging him to eat meals that he didn't want he was becoming food phobic.

He is now very happy (now that he doesn't get given the food he doesn't like - i.e normal food) and enjoying meals for the first time in years and this is real progress. Slowly he is trying new things e.g bacon is big recent achievement.

So my advice to you is to give you child the food she will eat and try to make sure the balance is good and she is getting the nutrients even if you are frustrated by the lack of variety.

[brightongirldownunder]

Its still me just under a different guise! I'll follow all your advice - just so frustrating when for instance at lunch she spat out everything after chewing it for about 10 mins.
Will cut out as much cows milk as poss.
reckon you're right, bluemouse, about the growing thing. She's very wee and reckon she must be due for a spurt soon.

[wishingchair]

DD1 (5) is quite fussy ... doesn't like food to be mixed together, likes it to be as bland as poss etc. DD2 (18 mth) is less fussy but again, likes food to be separate. If she's expecting a mouthful of potato and there's some chicken in there, it all gets spat out. What was she eating that took 10 mins to chew?? DD2 is still not keen on meat, but I've discovered she'll eat chicken leg, not breast ... the texture I think. Salmon, not cod/other white fish ... again the texture is smoother and softer. Maybe her food needs to be mashed up a bit more?

Agree with what everyone else says ... it is frustrating, but don't let them see that, cut the cows milk right down, and keep perservering. x

[wishingchair]

PS - also meant to say that it is sometimes helpful to take a step back and look at her. If she is lively, inquisitive, active, with a twinkle in her eye, that's a pretty good sign she's doing fine. As the Toddler Taming man says, children are like birds: some eat like sparrows, others like vultures. There is no "right" amount of food.

[Tapster]

Juliet111/wishing chair my DD of 18 months exactly the same plain and separate food - when we worked that out at around 13 months she finally started to eat. There is alot of pressure from the "normal" food brigade and to cure "fussiness" by starving them if they don't eat what you want them to, which I can say does not work and can definitely damage some of them and pushes them towards food phobia.

Only give cows milk after meals might help. Good luck I have been there and its not fun my DD ate 6 peas for lunch for about 3 months.

[wishingchair]

tapster I totally agree. Both my DDs only get milk after breakfast otherwise they won't eat half as much.

There is this infuriating brigade of "just give them whatever you're eating and if you do this from day 1 it'll be fine, my DCs love olives/curry/mustard". I'm happy it worked for them but it never worked for me, and my children are healthy, happy and are developing their palate at their pace. There's also this misconception that babies/children in other countries are eating a wide variety of highly flavoured and spiced food from day 1. Not true. I have friends from Thailand and Singapore and they tell me children there eat lots of bland and milky "children's" food (healthy though) and gradually at 5+ they might start trying food from their parents' plates.

So my advice is to take it steady and if she hates say pasta but loves mashed potato, respect that and give her the potato. Doesn't mean you'll never offer pasta again but just maybe not for a while. Children of this age are also keen to assert independence so sometimes our most successful meals are lots of different things (plain pasta, cucumber, cheese, ham,raisins etc) all put on the plate for them to eat at their own pace. Good luck xxx

[brightongirldownunder]

Thanks guys, I'll try and stay up.
She's got a bit of a fever tonight and ~I'm wondering if this whole thing is the dreaded teething again - looks like the canines are coming through. She refused everything tonight.

[jamila169]

Just a little something to make you all smile
The Toddler Diet

[brightongirldownunder]

He he thanks Jamila!

[juliet111]

I really think backing off and letting them eat what they enjoy (within reason) is the way to go. It works for me, even if my son eats a 'strange' diet, he's happy and well nourished. Gradually he is eating more normally now that the pressure is off. Anyway good luck.