teaching nearly 2yo about boundaries/ safety

[Stargazing]

my dd is not one of those children who sits and plays quietly with things designated for play. She'll happily by-pass a bunch of toys in the play area of the cafe and go around wanting to 'make tea' with the cups and sugar bowls on the tables - full or not!! She also runs off and just doesn't stop - I've seen other kids run/ bike/ scooter ahead of their parents and then stop and wait for them to catch up - she doesn't. Sometimes she seems to think it is a game, other times she is clearly being defiant. It makes going out very difficult as I am constantly running after her - all the more so as I have a 5mo, so I am lugging him around (he's no lightweight) while I try and catch her. When I am bfing I simply have to strap her into her buggy, which she doesn't appreciate.

I know that she is young and I am not expecting her to be adult, but a few tips on how I can encourage her to be a bit easier to manage would be great. She's an active child and I don't want to restrict her any more than I have to, but I just want her to be safe, obviously. I'd also like to be able to have the occasional conversation over coffee without having to sprint after her every 3 minutes!

ta.

[Stargazing]

no advice? anyone?

[Joolyjoolyjoo]

Much sympathy! My dd1 (now 4) was like this! From the age of 16 mths she just ran away! All the other kids would be happily playing together and she would dash off, and I had to run after her. I vividly remember chasing her through a reptile house with dd2 still on my boob! I eventually got her a wrist strap for out on the roads, and just kept bringing her back when we were at soft play etc. Lots of soft play places have locked gates, so you can relax a little! I also used to go out with a big group, so that she was more likely to stay with the other kids, and if she did run off there were other folk at hand to help round her up/ look after dd2!! I also told her there were trolls and gruffalos in the woods in the park - I know, I know, but she knew that they are scared of mummies, so she was safe as long as she was with me!
The good news is, she grew out of it, and now wants to be with me all the time- you can't win really!!

[cory]

Reins. This still gives her a chance to move around and explore, but she can't get away. You just can't expect such a young child to remember any safety rules.

[choufleur]

bribary. i bribe my just 2yo frequently when we're out. mostly with a pack of stickers but also with his 'treat box', which is a box of cheap fun things which is kept in a cupboard at home and only brought out when he's been good. he gets to choose one thing that he wants.

Both seem to work but have to remember that he only has a really short attention span so he gets a sticker for example when he comes back to me when asked, holds my hand nicely etc. the treat box is used more along teh lines of 'if you don't come back now you won't get anything from the treat box when we get home'.

[colditz]

It's not going to happen. Strap her in the pushchair when you need her to be safe. her behavior is fairly typical for her age.

[choufleur]

i do have reins that go everywhere with me as well though.

[DontGetIt]

Oh yes, same problem here Im afraid! I use reins with my DS1 of 2.5 when Im going somewhere dodgy ie busy road, tho he does like to throw himslef on the floor and refuse to walk with them on sometimes. Great fun, carrying screaming toddler under one arm and car seat and 6 month baby on the other...but DS1 did actually run into the road in front of a car recently (I'd thought I ought to ease off the reins and was 'trusting' him.)So Im playing it safe again now.

More positively, what I have tried to do is go places where he can run freely without me having to worry...ie certain parks/toddler groups/our local zoo are all quite contained so that if (when!) he legs it its not such a problem, and I can be a bit more relaxed in my approach to explaining to him why I need him near. I use these places as sort of training grounds to see how he responds when I do yell 'stop'.

The one other thing I have noticed is that he responds loads better to 'Stop, cars are coming' or even 'Stop, Im going this way' rather than just 'Stop'. ie if theres a reason for stopping mostly he will...but not always!!