My twin boys are nearly eight and lately their behaviour has been pretty challenging - dh and I are feeling pretty exhausted and angst ridden. The boys are often yelling and crashing around in their (shared) room till 10pm, and take delight in tormenting their 4 yr old sister. They are lovely boys but very boisterous and full of mischief.
It came to a head yesterday when my sons were showing off in front of the friend they had home for tea, and had their sis in tears several times - later, I just flipped, raring that their birthday sleepover - planned for early feb - is cancelled (they'll still get their bowling trip, so will still have a treat!)
Just don't know if I can face having 3 extra boys to stay the way my sons are now. But they are SO upset and disappointed today.
What can I do? Start a star chart for behaviour? dd is a toughie and fights back, but eventually crumbles and I have to mop up the tears. We have already banned playstation and no friends are coming arond for a week. It feels like denial, denial - so dreary and joyless. I am so sick of being furious and upset, a foul faced mother, and hate my boys looking so sad. It feels like a vicious circle of rows and tears, then the boys been contrite, and us all making up.
sorry to ramble. Any suggestions gratefully received. btw we don't have the room to give them separate bedrooms!
many thanks xxxx
no time to post a t lenght but I htink oyu need to start form scratch revise their routine their rules,their speech to each other etc
and also start positive reinforcement - with two to play off it shoudl work a treat
IMO you shouldn't back down now. It'll show them you don't mean it and are full of empty threats I think. Keep it cancelled. Def would try some rules I think, see thread here , also lots of exercise, boys being like dogs int hat regard. And don't smoke, it'll make it worse! Then you'll be a smoker with challenging boys, they won't be any easier and you'll hate yourself. I posted everything I've ever found useful on this thread here Hope there's something in there that helps. 10pm sounds like a nightmare, I'd be down on that like a ton of bricks I think. Sympathy.
Just wanted to add that we had a big talk about the boys having to 'earn' their birthday sleepover and the improvement in their behaviour has been quite dramatic. I took them out for tea tonight and they were all very good in the cafe, they have cleared away toys without being asked, been hugely tolerant of their sis, settled to sleep with no screaming or reckless play in their room - have had them on my own all w'end as dh was working and I can honestly say it's been a apleasure.
Thanks for advice everyone, no longer feel like a tense wreck!