19 month old suddenly started sobbing at bedtime.

[samsmam]

Help.......... I have a 19 month old DD who for the past two nights has started screaming and sobbing inconsilibly for the last two nights. It has happened on the odd occassion and we resolved it by letting her sleep in between us on top of our duvet. I don't want this due to danger and also because I don't want her to still be doing this in years to come. She still sleeps in the day time (not sure whether to cut this) I have an 8 week old DD too. Last night we got her up 5 times and tried putting her back and she was just clinging to me so I got upset and let her sleep with us. Tonight I am trying a harder approach and letting her cry. She does keep dropping off for 15 minutes then waking and sobbing again. Anyone any ideas/ advice please.

[Habbibu]

DD started doing this at about 17 months - I think it may be a bit of a separation issue in our case. We changed her bedtime routine so that when she was in bed I'd read one more book to her (The Going To Bed Book by Sandra Boynton), and then shh and pat her until she was asleep. We're still staying with her (one of us, not both!) until she falls asleep, but it's quicker, and involves no patting now, so I think she'll be back to normal soon. It is a longer-term solution, but suits us. Good luck!

[AliciaJohns]

Not teething is she?

How was she sleeping before this? Has she always settled herself?

Ds went through something like this and it only lasted about a week and then he got over it - with hindsight I think it was because there was a lot of tension in the house at the time and he had picked up on it. Also sometimes he doesn't like it if there is a funny shadow in the room or something hanging on the back of the door, etc!

I don't think you shoudl let her cry if she is that upset. She needs you for whatever reason, and you may just have to ride it out for now.

[BigBadMouse]

My DD2 is exactly like this - right now in fact! She has just turned two this week. She goes through phases of being like it and I really feel I am right when I think she is just trying it on to get attention. Our DD often has 8 screaming sessions before she will sleep properly.

What has helped us is being firm - no cuddles unless she really is distraught.

Also watch the daytime naps - she may be over-tired not under-tired. How much is she sleeping during the day? She may need a little more sleep due to a growth spurt or a cold? She may also be a bit stressed out about your new arrival and that can make them need more sleep. If our DD missis her daytime nap she is nearly always going to play up like you describe your DD doing.

What I did last night (after 6 trips upstairs to settle her) was threaten to take away her night comforter. The next time she cried I took it away for 2 mins (I left the room with it) - she didn't mess about after that. I hate doing it but it has worked for her in the past - seems to break her of the habit for at least a month.

The dropping off for 15 mins then waking up seems to be a typical pattern. You know her best but if you think she is playing up you have to find a way of making her stop or you will all suffer. btw - when she realises you are bieng firm with her she'll probably knock the screaming up a few decibels or change pitch to something incredibly irritating!

Hope something in this helps.

Good luck - it is just a phase but giving in will make it far, far worse IME.

[samsmam]

She has always slept all night from 8 weeks and nearly always settled herself. Maybe 8pm is too late for bedtime?
Her daytime nap is anything from 45 minutes to 1.5 hours usually at 1pm.

She has just the 4 big teeth at back to get so could be.

I have been suffering from postnatal depression maybe she is picking up from me.

This parenting thing is hard.

She seems to be asleep for now.......

[Habbibu]

Sorry to hear you have PND, samsmam. I suspect it's a common phase at this age, and not anything she's picking up from you. You could try putting her down earlier, perhaps with a slightly extended bedtime routine. Hope it all gets better soon, and that you get some sleep!

[BigBadMouse]

Might be worth trying a bit of calpol or neurofen one night. I think when they get the back teeth through laying on their side can be painful so it is hard to get comfy (hence the waiting 15 mins between crying). I wouldn't say use it every night fom now on of course but it might help all of you get some rest.

Sorry about your PND. I hope it goes soon and that you are getting plenty of support. Yes the parenting thing is blimen hard isn't it? Don't make it harder by blaming yourself for something that is very unlikely to be your fault. She will settle again - esp if she is usally a good sleeper. You will find a solution - if she doesn't find one before you.

Hope you have a peaceful night.

[numptysmummy]

My dd is doing exactly this! Must be something in the air. She is 22mnths and a couple of nights ago when i went to get her she said "spider hurt me" so we think maybe it's bad drreams. I have 4dc's and have had pnd 3 times, the others have never been like this and i'm pretty much over it this time so i really don't think it's anything to do with the pnd. Hope you are getting the help you need.