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No shut door mummy

(15 Posts)
Jasmum Fri 07-Jan-05 11:30:26

My DD is 2y 3mths & in the last week or so gets very distressed at bedtime when we try & close her bedroom door. It seems to only be at night time as her day time nap seems to be OK. She starts really crying & saying no shut dor no shut door, I've tried asking her why but she just says yeah (as only a 2yo could!) We can't even pull it to, it has to be wide open. This wouldn't really be an issue but we live in a flat & so are all on one level, which means we can't go into the bedroom, bathroom or toilet until she's asleep as she calls out for us & starts making a fuss. It's like she's keeping watch untils he falls asleep which generally takes about 1-2hrs now.
I accept that this is just normal behavouir but what do I do, just shut the door & let her work it out? or leave it open & stay put in the lounge until she's asleep?
Any advice,help would be appreciated...
BTW, she's always had a great bedtime routine & is in bed at 7 every night & always sleeps through.

nailpolish Fri 07-Jan-05 11:32:49

sounds like she is afraid of something. has she got a nightlight? i used to leave the radio on for my dd, and a nightlight

secur Fri 07-Jan-05 11:35:44

Message withdrawn

Jasmum Fri 07-Jan-05 11:36:36

I've wondered if it could be the dark, but she's never even mentioned that it's dark, or labout leaving the light on. Am going to try a nightlight though...

noddyholder Fri 07-Jan-05 11:53:18

what about a little nightlight?

marialuisa Fri 07-Jan-05 11:56:30

TBH I'd let her have the door open but say that if she calls out/messes around you'll shut the door. My DD is nearly 4 but about this age she suddenly needed the hall light on and her bedroom door open. The upshot is that even now she sees having her bedroom door shut as a real punishment and on the rare occasions I've put her in her room as time-out I don't need to shut the door.

charliecat Fri 07-Jan-05 11:57:05

On one of those parenting prorgrammes they had great results telling the kids that the nightlight was a fairy watching over them keeping them safe etc...maybe try that ?

Blu Fri 07-Jan-05 12:25:19

I think I would introduce a nightlight plug thing, and leave the door half open - but if she really wants the door open, I would let her - just calmly put her back in bed if she gets out, or ignore her or say 'night night' firmly if she calls out. Fear or battles at bedtime always seem to transmogrify into something worse! If she has hit the point where her imagination is running riot, be aware that nightlights can sometimes throw up shadows that get them going.
And restrict access to any video, tv or story material that will grow into something alarming once night falls!

LapsedGymJunkie Fri 07-Jan-05 12:32:03



Are you a Calvin and Hobbes fan ??

Jasmum Fri 07-Jan-05 12:37:10

Thanks, I think I will try a nightlite, unfortuantely we haven#t got a plug socket that will allow her to see the light, but I'll find something.
think also the compromise on half open is a good one.
It could be just conincidence but it has conincided with her getting the Nemo DVD for Xmas and although she's not scared of any of the bits in it and finds them funny I wonder if its' just the start of her little imagination going.

Bedtime routine is always nice little stories no scary vids, books & Nemo is the scariest thing she's ever seen.

LapsedGymJunkie Fri 07-Jan-05 12:38:45

We have put a night light bulb on a dimmer in the main light in Ds room(so quite minimal) and he also has a plug in night light.

He also started that door thing, door a bit mummy. So I stood in his room and said this is the way I like it(closed) and this is the way you like it(wide open).

So how about this, open about 3 inches, at first he would not countenance it, but I said that if he wanted the door one of the lights would have to go. I won, for the want of a better word. We turn the central light off when he is asleep and also close the door to, and he has never objected. HTH

LapsedGymJunkie Fri 07-Jan-05 12:40:19

My 3.5 wont watch Nemo, he thinks the sharks are not very kind and just too nasty Mummy.

amynnixmum Fri 07-Jan-05 12:42:54

We cant use the usual types of nightlight as ds would undoubtably find it irresitable. Instead we have a 12 watt bulb in the main light. It means that the light is poor in there which can be a pain but its worth it for us. You cant get these from all supermarkets and some only go as low as 20 watts but some supermarkets definately do them.

nailpolish Fri 07-Jan-05 12:44:09

nemo is quite scary, my dd still wants to know where Coral is

GreatBigFatHeiferEnid Fri 07-Jan-05 12:56:52

My dd2 did exactly this just after she was 2. We leave the door open now - I think she likes to feel 'part' of things. Our loo is right by her bedroom and in fact she sleeps through quite happily - you could try it and see how she goes? A nightlight wouldnt have worked with dd2, she most definitely wanted her door open.

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