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Temper tantrums.. remind me again what to do!

(10 Posts)
unicorn Fri 07-Jan-05 09:03:32

ds (nearly 3) is going absolutely ape, everytime he doesn't get what he wants/ or hears the word NO.
He has a major screaming fit, plus will throw things (like toys) if he has anything to hand.

Now I remember from dd1 (5) that ignoring is what you are supposed to do... BUT, it is not always possible when he is so VERY loud, persistant, and destructive.

nb he is also a very loving affectionate little soul, but can turn into demon child from hell (especially in public!!- ifkwim!!)

Any top mumsnet tips please!

wild Fri 07-Jan-05 09:06:47

bump
I have one of these too

unicorn Fri 07-Jan-05 09:27:20

so anyone cracked it?.. please share those temper tantrum thoughts, as I'm exhausted!!

weightwatchingwaterwitch Fri 07-Jan-05 09:32:54

Distract, fast, if you see one coming. You can't always, I know. This used to work quite a lot with my ds. Especially if I was very dramatic about it, i.e. OH MY GOODNESS, LOOK WHAT I CAN SEEEE! (while I think of something fascinating to a 3yo!)
Ignore (also not always pos)
Give positive attention and 'catch' him being good at other times so he doesn't think he has to tantrum to get negative attention (Steve Biddulph says they'll take negative attention over no attention and mentions the mona lisa crooked smile which I've seen my ds do!)
Make sure he never, ever gets what he wants from a tantrum or he'll think 'ooh, that works
But it's ok imo to give in on something you're not too bothered about early on, as long as it's before and to avoid a tantrum and if it's really not worth arguing about.
The public ones are HORRIBLE aren't they? Must say I'm not looking forward to those again!

weightwatchingwaterwitch Fri 07-Jan-05 09:34:34

Oh and in the car, I find Radio 3, turned up very, very loud helped me. And ds, when he got a bit older would say OK, OK, I WILL Stop Screaming but PLEASE turn that music down mummy.

littlemissbossy Fri 07-Jan-05 09:35:21

For Tanya's tips from the BBC programme Little Angels go to this site (sorry can't get it to link)- it tells you all about ignoring/distracting etc
http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/parentingseason/little_angels/tanyas_toptips.shtml
HTH

unicorn Fri 07-Jan-05 09:36:27

thanks www..
all those things I always forget when he is in the midst of a 'scene'!!

Re throwing things which I desperately need to stop, as it is so dangerous for others, I tend to take away the toy he throws... but it hasn't made a jot of difference...any other tips ?

amynnixmum Fri 07-Jan-05 09:45:14

LOL WWW I do that in the car too. Last year dd was in car with my mum and when mum turned up the radio she said " sorry grandma. have I annoyed you?". Unicorn your ds sounds like mine (now 4 1/2). Sounds like you are doing the right things by ignoring and distracting. When I talked to my hv about ds at around the same age she said that I was doing all I could using these sort of strategies and to just keep on using them. Good luck Oh and I found Dr Green's "Toddler Taming" useful too - made me LOL and helped keep me sane.

Clare1406 Fri 07-Jan-05 09:55:17

If it helps, the 'time out' trick seems to work. I put DS in the spare bedroom when hes having a strop at home. Theres nothing in there that he can throw or damage. Leave him for 3mins, then go in & ask him why you've put him there & has he got a big hug & a sorry for you. It's really working.
It's just the tantrums when we're out, i just keep walking & ignore it, he soon comes round. That tip was via "Littlt Angels" The sticker thing works too. Good luck.

kid Fri 07-Jan-05 10:03:44

My DS 2.9 also has these tantrums of throwing things and really shouting if he doesn't get his own way. Sometimes, he just 'goes into one' for no real reason, especially if he is tired.
My other big problem with him, is he runs off when he isn't in his buggy. I used to use the reins and wrist strap on him, but he is big for them now.
Like Unicorn said at the begining of the thread, my DS can also be very loving but its these tantrums I dread! I thought he might have outgrown them by now!
I will definately be trying the distracting, even if I don't quite manage it before a tantrum starts.

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