Do I have unreasonable expectations of ds???

[cheekymonk]

Please, please give me your opinions.
My ds is 3 has beenan easy child in some respects, sleeping through, weaning, potty training and eating but it his general day to day behaviour that I strugglr with.
I live 3 hours away from parents and went home this weekend to help care for my Mum as she had just had hysterectomy. My sister was mainly looking after her but I felt bad not being there.
While mum was in hospital my sister looked after ds for an hour so I could go and see MUM.
We all went to get Mum and bring her home but ds was all over the house when we got back in and fiddled with everything. He moaned constantly, he was hot he was tired and was not happy unless Iwas with him. It was like having an 18 month old where you cannot blink. He was squealing and behaving atrociously.
Yes he may have been a bit tired, also he was missing his dadddy as he was away for weekend (Navy) and he obviouslt wasn't handling my Mum being ill very well either.
He was the same the following day, so much so that I had to just leave my mums and come back to our place. I am still so angry as I feel I should have been able to care for them both and could have if ds had been his normal self but with this magnified behaviour I couldn't do a bloody thing.
I feel he is such a brat and am not sure what to do next. My mum adores him and even she said he just needs a good smack and maybe I should give up trying!
Is this normal 3 year old stuff???

[juuule]

Yes it is normal. 3yo don't do well being left to their own devices for long (count in minutes sometimes)periods especially in unfamiliar surroundings. I would think 'things' going on around them that they don't really understand would make the situation worse. They need a bit more reassurance - not a smack.
Sorry to hear about your mum, hope she's much better very soon.

[singyswife]

Maybe go back to visit your mum and get ds to help 'look after her'. Prop pillows, take her some water, go in with the flowers, kids that age love to think they are helping rather than being left to just get on with it. Hope it all works out for you.

[nzshar]

Totally normal as far as I can tell (have a 3 year old ds myself) They are totally egotistical at this age and anything that takes the attention away from them eg your mum, or a change in routine eg dad away for weekend will throe them into a tantrum/clingy phase. I swear That 3/4 year olds are worse in a lot of ways behaviour wise than small toddlers. More stubborn, more vocab and heavy (less able to just pick them up and move them). When my ds is going through a testing time I always remember the MN mantra of "this to will pass"

[cheekymonk]

Thanks both. I did try getting ds to be a patient and lie in bed with her as he didn't understand that his nan was ill as there was no visible sign apart from her not being able to play with him so didn't attempt him being the doctor or helper.
He knows my mum's house well and doesn't normally toch anything. Admittedly it is like a showhome and not very child friendly apart from the bits I had brought up for him.
I don't want to smack him as I was hit as a child and don't believe it is the answer but I also worry about how out of control ds can seem...

[cheekymonk]

Thanks nzshar. I must admit I feel totally miserable with it all. I took ds to see cbeebies yesterday at the theatre but he didn't enjoy it. Sometimes it can feel like nothing is good enough!

[nzshar]

Yeah know that feeling. Over the Easter holidays here(ds started nursery in Jan) Did loads with him but to tell you the truth there were some days I feel I just shouldnt have bothered. It all seemed like hard work and no fun at all. But then there are the days that he seems to spark into life and really get a lot out of whatever we are doing. Like I said 3/4 year olds are a fickle bunch. Hope your mum makes a speedy recovery

[cookiemonstress]

You could have been writing about my dd. Identical behaviour and soooooooo draining. Nothing is ever right, no amount of attention is ever enough. Occasional glimpses f good behaviour suggest that there is light at the end of the tunnel. My mum too thinks a good clip is the answer but I'm determined not to go down that route. A bit soul-destroying when you think you've read the books, watched the programmes to feel you're banging your head on the wall half the time

Hope your mum gets better soon.

[DoodleToYou]

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[cheekymonk]

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